The "Hills" of Chaos

Lose Weight Dammit!

2011-05-19T11:52:00.001-04:00

"Lose weight, dammit." Yep, this is what I say to myself every morning as I stare into the depths of the evil mirror. "Mirror, Mirror on the wall. Who's the frumpiest of them all." Again, that would be me.

Normally, I say these words and then do nothing. I loathe myself as I crawl through yet another day of stagnant activity and over indulgent eating.

So this morning, I finally ventured off to the gym, for the first time in months. My clients will just have to wait. I need this for me, except the entire time I'm trudging through the workout, I'm looking around comparing myself to every other person in the room. "At least I'm not like that guy." "Oh, I wonder if she has kids. Nah, probably not, she looks too darn good." "I hope I look like her when I'm that age." "Yikes, it could be worse."

It's funny. In high school, it was the popular girls and magazine models that were the measurement for my self worth (physically at least). Of course, that ship has sailed. Now, I find myself envying non-moms or those who freakishly and miraculously revert back to cuteness 10 seconds after they give birth. Just look at their stretch free skin and perky boobs. Maybe my goal should be to simply not look like a mom.

Reality check, ladies. I am never going to look a 22 year old again. Ironically though, until recently, I was still hanging on to my size 2, extra tiny pre-pregnancy clothes. Even if I did get back down to my former weight, a good 20 lbs from where I am now, my form is so drastically different, they'll never fit the same. Off they went to the Goodwill. It was a sad and dreary day when I let go of pre-existence and embraced the reality of my forever frumpiness.

However, just because I'm never going to look like a super model or even a B-list celebrity, it doesn't mean I have to walk around unhealthy and self-loathing. If I don't like what I see, I should stop the laziness and put my butt in motion, literally.

So I thought I'd throw out an idea to my fellow supermoms. Why not be each other's accountability? Whether you are doing Weight Watchers or another diet program (names of which have completely left my brain), planning on working out at the Y on on your Wii Fit, let's support one another; help each other reach our goals. What do you say? You in?

Frappachino Happy Hour All This Week

2011-05-06T07:18:00.000-04:00

Drop by a Starbucks between 3 - 5 pm each day between now and May 15th for half price However-You-Want-It Frappachinos. It's like they knew it was my birthday this week. So sweet of them to honor me like that.

Just the Motivation I Need

2011-05-05T16:26:00.001-04:00

Owen on Spring Break

Side Note: Madison got her cast off today. Okay, now continue.

First of all, let me apologize for not being the diligent blogger I once was. I guess when I started writing for Patch, I allowed my personal blog to fall to the wayside. It's funny how that happens. The other mitigating factor is that Strategic Victory, my company, has been exploding with new business. I've barely been able to keep my head above water in this new life as stay-at-home, work-at-home, work-out-of-the-home mom.

However, not matter how busy life gets, I can't forget about my escape hatch, which just happens to be writing. It's a release for me, a sanctuary of sorts. When Penny, my editor at Patch, told me that they were going to be linking to local blog sites, I thought this might be the motivation I need to get back into blogging regularly.

Madison's uber curly hair and bag over her cast.

And look at this...here I am, blogging. I'm not even going to try and catch you up on the last three months. It would impossible and probably quite boring actually. But here's a brief recap: SVC (my company) took on 12 new clients. Blake finally stopped peeing in his pants (almost). I worked for Senator Jennings in Annapolis during Session. Madison broke her arm and we didn't know it for almost a day. We drove 18 hours to Florida for our first Spring Break ever. We took on an intern at SVC. Nana & Papa kept Madison and Blake at their house for a week giving Neil and I almost kid free time. My princess is one tough cookie and my middle child seems to be the wimpy one of the lot. Neil went camping with a bunch of guys from church, giving him two weekends of fun in one month. The first was a kayaking festival.

What else? Who knows? I can barely remember yesterday, much less highlights from the last 3 months. The point is, I'm back...now let's hope I can stay that way.

Pampered Chef Fundraiser

2011-02-15T07:50:00.000-05:00

What a great way to help raise money for More than Moms. We come, we shop, we get great kitchen and dining tools, and MTM gets a check. How much easier can it be?

When Tiffany, one of our sponsors, called and asked if we could do a show on the 21st, I asked if we could do it as a fundraiser even though we don't have tax exempt status. She said as long as we have a checking account and are recognized at the state level, we're good to go. Check and check!!!

Here's how it works: we'll have a normal cooking show, food to sample, recipes to take home, and products to test out. Then 10 - 15% of our total sales come back to us in the form of a check. So it's key to not only get as many people as we can to my house on the 21st, but we need to spread the word, have friends and neighbors order online, circulate it around Facebook and Twitter, and whatever we can think of to increase our sales.

Check out TIffany's website to see the newest catalog. http://www.pamperedchef.biz/tpc2006 You can order online if you can't make the party. So can your friends and family, even if they live far, far away. Just put in More than Moms as the organization/host.

Let's make this first fundraiser a big one.

Also, check out the guest special for February. It's AWESOME! Think Free Batter Bowl.

http://www.pamperedchef.biz/skins/sites/pdf/en_US/gs_11feb_en_us.pdf

Snow, Snow Go Away, Don’t Come Again Some Other Day

2011-02-01T07:58:00.001-05:00

As a thin layer of ice covers the region, yet another school day is delayed. I’m starting to think we may never get back to normal. I should be thankful that we haven’t been hit with back to back blizzards, but these incessant, miniscule storms that continue to wreak havoc on my semblance of routine are just about to drive me crazy.

Am I alone in this? Sure, as a kid, I’d live for these days, especially in Georgia where they were rare to say the least. However, as an adult, as a parent, I’m really starting to resent the onset of winter precipitation. I find myself cursing the weathermen when they even hint at a winter storm watch, praying as I lay my head down at night that I’ll wake up to find they were dead wrong.

I’m a work-at-home (most of the time) mom with three kids and to-do list the size of Mount Kilimanjaro. Schedules are important, not just for me but for the kids as well. When nature calls for a shake up, I find myself scrambling to manage the chaos that ensues. I guess that makes the name of my blog a bit like a premonition. It really is the Hills of Chaos, huh?

At the same time, I have to remember that my first priority is to my family, my husband and my kids. Sure, being a mother comes with certain super powers, but controlling the weather is not one of them. The to-do list will have to wait.

On days like this, I have to redefine my idea of productivity. If I can make it to the end of the day without having inflicted intense emotional damage on my children, then I say that’s one successfully productive day.

So enough blogging for now. I think it’s time to build one magnificent fort in the basement. I’m sure my boys will lead the charge.

Hillary and Betsy Go Viral

2011-01-19T13:33:00.001-05:00

Okay, maybe we haven’t hit the big time quite yet, but this article in the Catonsville/Arbutus Times is a good start. Lauren Fullbright, a journalist for Patuxent Publishing came out and interviewed us in early December, wanting to tell the story of how we went from political activists to business owners. We were super excited to see it published in today’s paper.

Betsy and I have been continuously involved in every aspect of the grassroots movement in Baltimore County for the past 18 or so months. Last July, we started Strategic Victory Consulting in which we offer marketing and event solutions for small businesses and political organizations.

At the core we’re writers. Through the Whisler Campaign and efforts within the PVRC, we’ve learned to take our skill sets to the next level by using free media and email marketing to not only promote political candidates but also small businesses and nonprofit organizations.

We love what we do and feel extremely blessed to be able to assist people and businesses that we’ve come to respect. We just want to see us all succeed.

Photo courtesy of Phil Grout.

There’s a First Time for Everything

2011-01-10T10:05:00.000-05:00

Here I am sitting in a Starbucks in Annapolis waiting for my first day of work to begin. It’s nerve racking really. You’d think a confident woman such as myself would be geared up and raring to go, but walking into a completely new situation has put me a bit off kilter. Driving down 97, I suddenly realized that I had absolutely no idea where I was going. I’ve never been to the State House before, except to gather on a lawn with a few thousand fellow Marylanders to voice our concerns for high taxes and forced healthcare.

So I called Nicole, a fellow Jennings team member, to direct me to a parking garage. Turns out I’m a little early as no one is scheduled to be in the office until after 10. Oops. It’s all good though, I found my way to a Starbucks after driving around Church Circle a few times. Now I’m settled in jotting down my thoughts before heading to Maryland’s own little Capitol Hill.

To be perfectly honest, I have no idea what to expect. Nothing like a new situation to stir up all this unsettling emotions. It’s not the same as walking into a Central Committee or PVRC, where I know 90% of the people, where I’m familiar with my surroundings, where I know what to expect. Nope, this is entirely different.

Granted, I’m totally blessed to be working with the likes of Senator JB Jennings. Plus the fact that I already know half of his staff, like Rich Reinhardt and Nicole Ossola, is a much appreciated bonus, especially considering I don’t think I know anyone else in Annapolis.

Here come to the self doubting questions: Am I dressed okay? Do I stand out like a french fry on dieter’s plate? Am I going to say something completely up surd and become defined by my stupidity?

Give me a week or two and this whole process will become second nature. I do tend to adapt well to new situations. Let’s just hope I can fake my way through these first few moments. You know us women; we’re good at faking things. Not that we always have to, but it’s nice to know that we have that innate skill.

Session starts Wednesday, which is my first official day. This, this is simply orientation, and who’s suppose to know what their doing during orientation, right? I’m taking this morning to get my bearings straight. Come Wednesday I plan to be an old pro, or at the least, ready to pretend like I am.

So here goes nothing. Watch out Annapolis. Hillary is here and I’ve decided to take you by storm.

I Got A Job, or Should I Say Another Job?

2011-01-07T16:51:00.000-05:00

As if I don't do enough, right? Actually it's quite perfect and fits right into my evil plan to someday conquer the world. I know y'all think I do too much already, but this really does fit into my master plan. That is, it would, if I had one. So I'll stop beating around the bush and get to the point. I've been offered a job working one day a week for State Senator JB Jennings down in Annapolis. I start next week.

I'll pause for y'all to recover from the shock and awe.

This is an amazing opportunity for me to grow professionally, both in experience and contacts. We all know that in politics, it's not so much about what you know but who you know and their opinion of you. I don't make the rules, I just hope to benefit from them. Of course, taking this job is not without it's sacrifices.

I had to, hold your breath, find childcare. There, I said it. Me, the epitome of a stay at home mom, who, granted, never stays at home, but you get my drift. Even Neil said, "I thought you were dead set against putting the kids in childcare." I am, and I'm not. What I can say? I'm a conflicted woman.

But this situation works out quite perfectly. I was able to find a friend, a fellow mom, who was willing to come up every Wednesday and watch my kids. Here's hoping we're still friends after she spends some quality time with my beloved monsters. I'll be the first to admit that my kiddos can be a handful (or two).

Of course, by the time I pay for childcare, gas and taxes, I won't actually be bringing home much money, but my main purpose is more about building up my knowledge and contact base. And I'm selfishly hoping to bring more exposure to Strategic Victory in the process. In fact, that's really the end goal, to build up the business.

So what will I be doing? I'm not entirely sure, but I know I'll be opening mail and packages, which freaked my mom after yesterday's little scare. Speaking of, I love when my Fox News picks up a local story. Between the weather and suspicious packages, my mom must think we live in a war zone up here. But that's not all I'll be doing. I'll have the unique pleasure of handling communication efforts, which is quite perfect because I happen to be an excellent communicator (at least some of the time).

Enough news for the day. I've already over extended myself with two posts in one day, give that I haven't posted otherwise in over a month.

Merry Belated Christmas and Happy New Year

2011-01-07T16:06:00.003-05:00

What’s up folks? Mommy put me, Blake, in charge of the Christmas Letter. Be prepared for one bumpy and chaotic ride. I’m not exactly a focused child, except when it comes to watching He-man.

Let’s see. We started out the year being buried under snow. Owen and I thought it was pretty stinkin’ cool. We made a huge slide in the front yard for all the kids in the neighborhood to play on. It was taller than all of us combined. Madison and Mommy preferred to stay inside; their loss. Daddy taught us how to shovel, which was super cool. Bottom line: we like snow.

After we dug out, like in May, Nana and Papa came up and built a ginormous fort in the backyard. Too bad they took off with us before we could break it in. Mommy and Daddy had almost an entire week without us. It’s the least we could do for them. We like them. Then Mommy came down, after a pit stop to see her old friends, Jo and Ang. She picked us up and whisked us away to Grandma’s house in Florida. Guess what? She lives at the beach. We all liked playing in the sand, but there was no way I was going in the water. That’s just silly. Grandma drove back with us and we arrived just in time for my third birthday party. All my friends came over to play on our new fort and they brought me tons of presents. I really like presents.

During the summer, we headed to Ocean City with our friends Betsy and Paul. It’s the first time we’ve been to a Maryland beach. It looked the same as the one at Grandmas and I still didn’t go near the water. Mommy and Betsy spent a lot of time talking about some business thingy. When we got back, they started it up. It’s called Strategic Victory Consulting and they help out small businesses and political organizations (whatever those are). Mommy calls herself a work-at-home mom now, which is weird because we thought she already was, what with her mom’s group and neighborhood association. Oh and let’s not forget her politicking on the Whisler campaign (he lost, by the way). She was also elected to the Republican Central Committee. Again, it’s all Greek to me, but it makes her happy.

Daddy stays busy as well. He actually got to go kayaking more this year, not as much as he wanted to, but enough. Owen and I actually got to go with him once. It was awesome. I see a future there. Daddy also took us camping for the first time ever, leaving Mommy and Madison to fend for themselves. You know, seeing how Mommy used to practically live outdoors, she’s become quite the home body. We’ll break her out of it sooner or later. Daddy, on the other hand, really is an outdoorsman. I want to be like him when I grow up.

As fall approached, it was time for school. Owen started Kindergarten. It’s weird not having him around all the time. However, I got to go to preschool this year with Mrs. Gail. I’ve made tons of new friends and finally got over my fear of swimming. Now I jump in all by myself. Madison doesn’t get to go to school yet. She’s too little, but she does get to hang out with Mommy all by herself. I’m a wee bit jealous, but I’ll get over it.
Now we’ve come full circle. We’re cuddled up on the couch, sipping hot cocoa and watching the snow fall once again. It’s almost Christmas and Santa will be coming soon, but that’s not the most important part. Christmas is all about baby Jesus who came to be my friend and live in my heart. Santa brings presents to me just like those wise men brought presents to Jesus. If I were Jesus, I’d rather have a Tonka truck than gold, incense and myrrh, but that’s just because I don’t know what those things are. Maybe Jesus liked to play with them.

From All of Us to All of You, Merry Christmas. See you in 2011.

The Pennington’s

Family Photo Time

2010-11-30T09:32:00.000-05:00

I'm done with studio photo sessions. Done I tell you. Every year we pack up the children and head to whatever studio has the best offers, and every year I wonder why we did it. The posed shots never turn out as you quite hope. In fact, most of the time we end up sending out our Christmas card with some random candid shot taken by a friend, an unposed shot that captures a more realistic view of our family. You know, the one that embodies the dysfunctional chaos of our lives. So then what's the point of going to Target or JCPenny's in the first place? My point exactly.

This year we did something a bit different. We scheduled a session with a friend of our who happens to also be a photographer. Actually Betsy and I hired her to do some professional head shots for Strategic Victory and thought we'd throw in some family photos as well. So on Sunday, we gathered our families at a beautiful stone church right in Catonsville and let Kasey perform her magic. I haven't seen all of them yet, but from what I have seen, I'm certainly pleased. And for the price, not even Target could beat it.

When you go to a studio, you typically get a package of prints and you pay per pose. For us, a typical session with several different poses costs us upwards of $50 or so, and that's with my super frugal shopping skills. If you want the rights to the photos then you're going to be dishing out several more precious pennies. With Kasey, we each bought a mini-session for $35 and we got the rights to 5 different poses. Plus we were able to choose the time and place. Never again will we venture out to a store studio like Sears. Why when we have a such a gem right under our noses?

This might seem like an advertisement for Kasey Caruthers photography and in a way it is. However, my point is that there are other options available. We no longer have to enslave ourselves to the traditional cheesy background scenes and overpriced prints. I mean, seriously, there are way too many deals to be had with online print shops, why would I pay upwards of $15 for a 5x7? That's just insanity. I'm just saying, that's all. (Bonus point if you can tell me what movie that line comes from)

New Column on Patch.com: Behind the Cape

2010-11-29T15:02:00.000-05:00

I know I mentioned the fact that I was going to start writing for the Catonsville Patch. Well, today marks my third column and the excitement has yet to wear off. Then again, neither has the nervousness. Luckily, God was looking out for me on Saturday night because he brought me the perfect circumstances as fodder for my musings. Isn't it funny how He works sometimes?

Today also marks the first comments from people I didn't already know. I don't know why but there's a sense of accomplishment rolled up in that first contact beyond your own little circles. The same thing happened when Strategic Victory brought in our first client that wasn't somehow connected to us. Not that it means I've arrived, but it just feels good, almost like a validation. Either way, I'll take it.

Well, it's a busy day today. Tomorrow I have 10 or so moms and their kids coming to play and my house is an utter disaster. I love Christmas and I love how my house looks at Christmas, but at this very moment, it sort of looks like Christmas vomited all over my living room. There's no order and it's driving me insane. Since I have a Central Committee meeting tonight, I think it might be best to get my butt in gear and put my house in order.

I only have about 2 hours and then it's time for Chick-fil-a. But Hillary, don't you guys normally go to CFA on Tuesday nights? Why yes we do. What a good observation there friend. Today just happens to be Receipt Day at CFA. Not sure if this is at every location or just mine. I'd like to think we're special, but I'm guessing not. Anyways, you go, you eat, you save your receipt. Then on December 13, you go, you show that same receipt, and you eat for FREE. Sweet deal, huh?

The Neverending Story

2010-11-23T23:58:00.000-05:00

Someone please tell me that Blake will not be 18 and still peeing in his underwear. Seriously, I really need someone to tell me that. It's been months of this back and forth regression and I'm about to pull my last hair out. Just when we think he's on the upswing, he slides back down. It's the most frustrating thing in the world. Literally, I sit there thinking, "am I really that bad of a parent?"

Owen just decided one day he was done with underwear and that was that. Madison is starting to pee and poop on the potty without any coaxing, bribing or begging. But Blake? No, Blake just doesn't give a hoot. If he's too busy playing to stop and go potty, he just goes right there in his pants. And it doesn't seem to bother him that his pants are wet either. We've tried everything from praise to discipline. I'm at a complete loss. There are few things I can't conquer, but Blake and potties is going to be the straw that breaks my freaking back.

Any suggestions? Seriously, I'll take them. I mean if you want to borrow him for a couple days and bring him back fixed, I'm willing. Maybe that's it. Maybe I broke my child.

Tomorrow is another day. Is it sad that I pray for dry pants? I do. Every single flipping day, "Lord, please let Blake have a good day, learn more about you, and not relieve himself in his superhero underroos."

I feel like I'm stuck in a rendition of "The Song That Never Ends," sung to the tune of "Nanny Nanny Boo Boo" Am I part of some Gotcha reality TV show? If that's the case, you guys can jump out at anytime and replace the fake Blake with the real thing.

Do you sense my desperation yet? I need a solution, and short of selling him on the black market, I'm open to any and all advice. Thank you.

Check out my new column

2010-11-22T13:52:00.001-05:00

It's no secret. I love to write and now I can finally do it beyond the simple musings of a blog. A couple of weeks ago I was given the opportunity to write a column for a new hyper-local online news source powered by AOL, Patch.com. Basically it breaks the news down by cities and towns. Catonsville has it's very own Patch site, and I have my very own column, "Behind the Cape." It's all about being a mom and a real one at that. I also get to share fun activities and great deals. What an experience!

You can check it out and let me know what you think. In fact, I'd love to hear from you in the comments section of the article. The more people read, the more I get to keep writing. And we all know that writing keeps me sane. This week's column is entitled "Confessions of an Ungratefulholic."

A Shocking Confession

2010-11-21T22:06:00.000-05:00

I was rocked tonight by a shocking confession from a dear friend. It doesn't matter what was confessed or who did the confessing. The point is that this declaration had some serious ramifications for my psyche. Literally rocked me to the core. Do you want to know why? Because I realized that I'm not above it. I'm not immune from falling. I'm not untouchable. So often I watch a TV show or read an article on the internet about someone that has fallen from grace, and I think, "I would never do that." Truth is, I'm perfectly capable of sinning. I am after all a sinner. I'm so quick to judge others and yet I mask the evil in my own heart. In fact, I justify it. Why is it so easy to talk myself into doing what I know to be wrong and extremely difficult to talk myself out of it? Seriously, what is that?

The only good news to come out of tonight was the fact that, for the first time in a very long time, I felt close to God. For a microsecond I felt like I had never drifted away. I found myself begging God for mercy, not only for my friend but for myself as well. Now the test comes. Will I continue to spend time with Him? Will I carve out a few moments of each day to return to my knees before His throne of grace? Here's hoping, right?

Here It Is

2010-11-15T09:23:00.000-05:00

It's completely surreal to see your own name featured on the front page of a website that you didn't create. Check it out and let me know what you think. But don't post your comments here. Post them on the article itself. It helps my editor know that people are reading and engaging. However, if you absolutely hate it, then just maybe snicker to yourself and not make it public. My ego is a little fragile right now.

Thanks again for all the support. You guys are amazing.

A Done Deal

2010-11-14T22:42:00.000-05:00

That's it. As of 6 am tomorrow morning, I will be an official published columnist. The article is written, name chosen, picture uploaded. Now it falls into the hands of readers. Whether or not it is well received will likely determine if I get to continue writing. Do me a favor? Go and read it, even if it sucks, okay? I'll post the link when it's live. Prayers appreciated. I just dove in and there is no turning back.

This is it...my very own trip down the rabbit hole.

2010-11-13T09:25:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking about it all week...what to write for my first column on the Catonsville Patch. Maybe I need to get one of those voice recorders so I don't get to this point and forget every flipping idea that has entered my head over the last couple of days. Call it nerves. Call it writer's block. Call it whatever you like, just pray that I can somehow find the words. Look at me, I can sit down and any moment on any of my other blogs and the words just flow freely. However you add a payment and an actual publication to the mix and it's like I'm mute. I know, who would have thunk? Me? Mute?

So what do I write about? It's my first ever paid writing gig. I will say, however, that it's certainly nice to know the topic. For a long time, I wasn't sure what I wanted to write about, hence the 4 million blogs I manage. The point is that I love to write. It's therapeutic for me, and if people happen to read it, that's just a bonus. Now the stakes are higher. If people don't read, I don't get to keep writing. Hhmmm, have I just stumbled upon the cause of my writer's block? Could I be afraid that I'm not actually that good at doing what I love? Shocking revelation peeps, I have insecurities. Why do I get the feeling I'm about the walk into a high school cafeteria buck naked? Risky.

All right, I have to just do it, dive in, and pray I know how to swim. Prayers appreciated. This is going to be a bumpy ride with a super secret and equally exciting destination. I'll let you know when it's up and running. I trust that, as my true friends, you'll give me honest and constructive feedback (while keeping my very fragile ego in mind).

Worthwhile

2010-11-12T19:59:00.001-05:00

Why is it that the people closest to us have the power to make us feel like dirt and a complete stranger or an old friend can lift us up with one kind word? What is it about human nature that allows us to treat the people we love with such disrespect? Why do we have this uncanny ability to shut off our own humanity in order to ignore another’s?

Then again, why do even we allow how we feel about ourselves to be dictated by the opinions of others? Why do we put people on such pedestals with such high expectations that their doomed to fall and fall hard?

Despite what it may look like on the outside, there are times that I feel like a complete failure, failure as a wife, a mother, a housekeeper, a Christian. You get the point. Notice how I didn’t include my political life even though we just lost big time. Or More than Moms or the neighborhood association? Sometimes I think I bring these things into my life so that I have an outlet where I don’t feel like a complete loser, where I’m appreciated, where I’m more like a superstar. Okay, maybe I’m reaching a bit, but again, you get the point.

One would have to argue though…Hillary, if you dropped all this other stuff, wouldn’t then have a ton of time to invest in your family so that you weren’t such a big fat L? While that may be a true statement, I’m not all that convinced that much would change. Sure, my house and my kids would be cleaner. I’d cook better meals and possibly be able to detach myself from my Blackberry, but wouldn’t I lose my identity in the process? Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom (really I do), but I’ve fought hard to not just be a mom. I wanted to have an identity of my own, not just someone’s wife or mother. I’m certainly no June Cleaver but I’m not Peggy Bundy either. Maybe I’m going through my own little identity crisis right now…heck, maybe it’s a midlife crisis.

This morning I was sitting with a couple girlfriends talking about this very topic. Where does our self worth come from? The question arose: What do you do when you doubt if God loves you? One of the girls said that it didn’t seem like a relevant question to her because she’s never really struggled with it. But when you look at it from a little different perspective, it’s a perfectly reasonable question.

If we’re seeking our self worth in the eyes of others, our husbands, our kids, our friends and colleagues, then maybe that reveals a deeper issue within us…maybe we do doubt in God’s love for us, at least in his unconditional love for us. And that makes perfect sense to me. Of course I struggle with understanding his unconditional love for me because the only love I can comprehend is conditional. Love without reason is hard to find even amongst Christians. We constantly tie strings to our affections and it seems that the closer we are to someone, the more strings there are. I happen to believe that those strings are tied to expectations.

Whether we admit it or not, we set expectations for the people in our lives, normally much higher than they are even capable of attaining, and we get hurt. We allow those unmet expectations to define us, to determine how we feel about ourselves. It’s all one big fat lie, and yet we don’t recognize it. Even I struggle to see that. I allow myself to be hurt, to feel like a loser, to invite myself to countless pity parties for one. Just because someone I love treats me like I don’t matter doesn’t mean that I don’t, right? Why is it so hard to believe that?

A New Direction on the Same Old Path

2010-11-10T14:57:00.000-05:00

I know, I know, I've neglected my blog. Heck, I pretty much neglected everything in my life over the last couple of months. And for what? We lost the election. Don't worry, I haven't gone off the deep end, and I'm not buying a one way ticket to my very own pity party island. It is what it is, and to be quite honest, I have no regrets, or at least not many.

I never thought my path would lead me here. Politics? Neighborhood Association? Mom's Group? Who would have thunk? Looking back over the last year or so, I feel like I've stumbled upon myself. If only I would have had this amount of confidence in who I am way back in the day, who knows where I would have been. Don't get my wrong, I wouldn't trade my life for anything, but as you get older (and a bit wiser), you do start to wonder...what if I had made different decisions? What if I made more decisions on my own instead of on what other people expected of me? What if I had believed in myself and my potential? Of course I don't want any of this to come across as arrogant. I just feel like it took a very windy and crooked path in order for me to see the real me. Some people saw it way before I did, and I'm sorry I didn't believe them. Regardless of what path I took, I'm glad I'm here now.

I love politics. It's meaty and complicated, frustrating as all get out yet familiar and refreshing. Would it be easier to be back in Georgia where it's more red than blue? Absolutely, but would it be as challenging to my character? Probably not. Plus, here I get to be a somewhat medium fish in a very small pond. In a Red State, I'd be more like a minnow in a vast and wide ocean.

I love being a mom. Three kids under 6 presents its share of challenges. Believe me, there is never a dull moment. Sure, in most of those moments I'm left wondering if I'll have any hair left at the end. But as much I fought against it, I love that my identity is entwined in those three lovable bundles of energy and personality. More than Moms gives me the opportunity to not only fellowship with other moms, but to learn from and be shaped by their wisdom and even grow together through our triumphs and our mistakes. And now that More than Moms is taking on a great and exciting new cause, non-profitdom, I can't wait to see where we'll end up.

I love being a business owner. Strategic Victory Consulting has certainly surprised me over the last few months. What we thought would be a political venture has turned into so much more. We get to watch businesses grow, most of the time from tiny little sprouts. Betsy and I are both learning the extent of our skill sets and how they can work together for good, and not evil. He he he. If you want to know more about what we're doing, check out our website. While you're there, join our email list.

I love our neighborhood, as well as living in Catonsville. Close your ears, Mom. It's almost like we've found our home...at least for now. I haven't completely given up on the South, but Oak Crest and Catonsville have provided us with a place we can finally feel comfortable. From the house to the tree-shaded streets to the active community association (which I now lead...scary), it's like our own little slice of Mayberry, only less antiquated.

And now for the gran finale...I love to write. And now I get the opportunity to do so and get paid. WHAT? I know, crazy, huh? There is this new hyper-local news source, powered by AOL, called Patch.com. Catonsville has it's very own Patch site and I will be a weekly columnist. No, I will not be writing about politics. I'm pretty sure I'm too biased for that. However, I will be writing about two other loves in my life...motherhood and deal seeking. My column launches early next week, so keep an eye out for that. My dad would be so proud.

Am I The Busiest Person in Baltimore?

2010-09-01T09:05:00.001-04:00

My friend Alicia posted this contest on my wall for the Busiest Person in Baltimore. It's hosted by a local radio station, Shine 95:1 FM. Anyways, I decided to enter. The winner gets a free cleaning service. I'll take that. Here's my submission. What do you think? Would you vote for me?

"Oh my, I could totally use a cleaning service. My poor house is so neglected. I'm a work at home mom who barely has a second to think, much less clean. Not sure if I'm the busiest person in Baltimore, but I do get the question, "Hillary, how do you do it all?"

I have three kids. My oldest is 5, starting Kindergarten tomorrow, and my youngest is 19 months. They alone keep me pretty busy, but that's not the end of it.

I own my own business doing marketing and event planning for small businesses and political organizations, which I started a little over a month ago. I never expected it to take off so quickly. Most of my work gets done during nap time and after the kids go to bed.

Last year, I started a mom's group called More than Moms on meetup.com. It has over 100 members and we're about to go non-profit so we can work more with moms in need in the community. I'm the president and chief organizer. We do a couple outings a week, plus I spend several hours working on my responsibilities as president.

Wait, there's more. I also serve at the Communications Director for a local county council campaign. This takes up about 20 hours a week that I squeeze in when I can. Can you tell I don't sleep much?

As well, I serve as VP of my neighborhood association, which doesn't require too much of my daily time, but fluctuates from week to week.

Lastly, my husband and I are extremely active in a starter church in our community. We host a small group in our home once a week and I help plan the women's socials once a month.

As you can probably gather, I don't have a set schedule. Instead it's dictated by the needs of that day. Maybe it's playgroup at my house, or a heavy work load for my business, or a planning meeting for our neighborhood block party. I don't have a nanny and my kids aren't in childcare, so when most people are working during the day, I'm being a mom. Of course, I do try to sneak tasks and appointments in here and there, but my kids are my first priority.

I don't know how I do it all, but I know that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. God has made that very clear and He's always provided for my every need and the needs of my family. Somehow all of these things connect, like a spaghetti junction of sorts. It amazes me to see friends from church serving with me in the political realm, or women from my mom's group checking out our new church. I might be busy, but I know I'm blessed to be right in the middle of God's amazing plan."

Kindergarten Zombie Mom

2010-09-01T09:02:00.001-04:00

My little Owen starts school tomorrow. I've been so caught up in the hustle and bustle of school supplies and doctor's visits that I hadn't thought about the fact that my little boy is going to be in Kindergarten. As I walked the halls of Mini-ville (AKA the elementary school) yesterday shuffling from classroom to nurse's office to PTA meeting, I was very aware of how out of place I felt. Was I the only one who had absolutely no idea what she was doing? I must have looked like a complete zombie.

Owen, of course, was quiet and reserved, not sure he spoke a word from the time we entered the building until the time we left. Oh and in typical Hillary fashion we were late. Why? Because there were a few items on the supply list that I hadn't gotten. It helps to pay close attention to quantities. So we get there, load everything into his locker (They have lockers in Kindergarten?), and sneak into the back of the classroom. His teacher had all the kids sit on the big carpet at the front of the room as she oriented them to the layout of the room. Then she came to talk to us, the big people, while the other kids played quietly with puzzles, books, and blocks. Guess what I learned first? Turns out the supply list I had was wrong, so I was late for nothing, and I still have to go back to the store. Perfect.

Then there was more paperwork. Back in the Spring, at registration, I filled out paperwork for over an hour. No joke. Then they sent a packet with his teacher's name and information on orientation and such. Guess what? More paperwork. And now I have 4 more pages to fill out. Once we were done, we could turn them in, sneak out of the back, and make our way to the PTA meeting. As if I wasn't already feeling completely overwhelmed. They held the meeting in this tiny room. By the time I arrived, there wasn't even room to stand. A bunch of us hovered out in the hallway waiting for what we thought was a second wave. The room slowly began to clear and this clueless mom slinked her way towards the front. Yes, coffee. And then a woman, asking if I'd filled out my form yet, and do I have my check ready. Wait, what? There's only one presentation, but I missed the first one...cause I apparently I wasn't lost enough. It's a real good thing that my friend in the VP of the PTA. At least she can fill me in. Besides, I didn't have my check book on me and the PTA doesn't take Amex.

Defeated I made my way back to Owen's classroom to find him sitting alone on the floor. His teacher must think I'm the worst mom ever. First we're late then my kid's the last one there. Perfect. What a great way to make a first impression.

Amidst all this chaos, it still hadn't dawned on me that my little boy was going to kindergarten. KINDERGARTEN. Am I ready for this? Is his ready for this? I feel a bit like we're peeking over the top of the hill on a roller coaster. There's no turning back, but we're at that moment when I wish we could.

The Things We Do As Moms

2010-08-16T05:33:00.001-04:00

So I'm sitting outside the Y nearly an hour before they open, just hoping I didn't get here too late to get Blake into the Tots program. Actually I've been here since 4:50 or so. When I arrived, there were already 15 to 20 people in line. Now it's wrapped around the building. I find myself eyeballing those in front of me. Are they here for Tots too? How many of them are after the four remaining Wednesday morning slots. Seriously, you'd think I was camping out for a Black Friday laptop deal. If it weren't so dark, I'd take a picture. It's crazy ridiculous what we'll do to make sure our kids get into a preschool program, a swim lesson or a sports class. Absolutely ridiculous. How insane do you have to be to roll out of bed at 4:20 and come sit on a curb at 5 in the morning just to get your child into a Y program? At least I'm not the only one. The parking lot is almost full now. Wow, after all this, I have to say I'll slip into depression if I don't get the spots I want. Crazy, right? If only it weren't such an awesome program, or if there were a comparable preschool with the same pricing plan? But there's not. This is it. There is no plan B.

I think the fact that I'm a work at home mom now adds to my desire to get him in. I'm sure it does. I woke up before my alarm went off because I was so paranoid that I wouldn't wake up to it. It there a 12 step program for overzealous moms?

Either way, it will all be over in about 30 minutes. I'll let you know how it goes.

Overwhelmed

2010-08-10T08:48:00.000-04:00

I bet you're thinking I'm going negative with this blog. The title would surely imply that, right? Sure, there are times that I am completely overwhelmed. How could I possibly add yet another thing to my plate, much less a new business venture? Hillary, there literally is no time left. You run a mom's group. You're the Communications Director for a local campaign. You're part of a new church plant. You sit on the board of your neighborhood association. You're running for Central Committee. Oh yeah, and you have three kids five and under, a husband, a dog, a house, friends and family. Don't worry, I get it, but I've always felt like the Lord has been leading me and somehow they're all connected. I've talking about the "Spaghetti Junction" that is my life.

Truth is: I'm most productive when I'm so busy I can't breathe. On days that I have little on my calendar, I literally would sit and veg the entire day, translating into poor parenting, cranky wife, lousy housekeeper, and completely useless individual. The hills of chaos keeps me going, and I believe my Maker is clearly aware of that. Do I have to learn boundaries? Absolutely! Do I have to communicate better with my husband? Clearly! The point is that I'm overwhelmed and still completely filled with joy at the same time.

As Betsy and I venture down this road into the world of business, I'm constantly reminded that this is not my business. It belongs to God, period. He's made that clear from the beginning. The fact that we've only been in business for a few weeks says it all. Currently, we have six clients, and two more on the way in. Everyday, we're making new connections, exploring the realms of our abilities, and watching businesses and organizations build foundations that will help them succeed. It really is such an exciting opportunity and we're loving every second of it.

I might have to fit work into 10 minutes here and there, an hour or so at naptime, and sometimes into the wee hours of the night, but what we're doing matters to the companies and candidates we work with. There is such a need for what we do. We're seeing that small business owners know that they need to market, but lack the skills to do so and the finances to pay a large firm. We offer cost effective solutions that will help establish the foundation and facilitate the best kind of marketing, word of mouth.

Overwhelmed! Not only by the sheer amount of stuff on my plate, but more so by God's goodness. For some reason, he has chosen to bless this venture. He clearly has a plan. Our goal is to not only put him at the center, but to let him roam throughout every facet of what we do. If you're a praying person, you can pray to that end with us.

Diving into business

2010-07-28T07:59:00.000-04:00

If you've noticed the radio silence over the past two weeks, there is actually a good reason for it. My friend, Betsy, and I have launched a new business, Strategic Victory Consulting. I know what you're thinking. Hillary, how could you possibly add one more thing to your plate? Do you not do enough already?

Honestly, it's something we've been pondering for months now. We kept thinking that we'd start it up after the election, maybe in January. However, where would be the value in that. The start of Maryland holds the vast majority of their elections every four years, meaning there won't be another statewide election until 2014. Why not use this time between now and the election to build name ID, garner clients, and build relationships with the business community? So we dove in, and in two short weeks, we have a logo, a website, a registered business, and two clients.

What do we do? We're two politically minded ladies with a vision to empower conservatives to victory. So how would we define victory? It doesn't have to be a political campaign. There are a myriad of conservative organizations and small businesses that need help marketing themselves, but often lack the time and budget to do so. Whether candidates, incumbents, organizations or small businesses, we're offering up our expertise in marketing, event planning and fundraising in a budget-friendly way.

Personally, I'm stoked about where this will take us. It's always been my goal to go back to work when the kids get in school. My goal would be that by 2014, when Madison heads off the Kindergarten, we'll be an established business with a steady income and even an office decorated with cute little purple elephants.

Why the purple elephant? We're not naive. We live in Maryland, a deep blue and heavily liberal state. Our vision is to see it become more a shade of purple than red, more of a two party state.

Today, we meet with a potential supplier and possible customer. It's my first official business meeting. Tonight, we're heading to Howard County to our first networking event, at least professionally.

It's been such a whirlwind. Just over a week ago, we were sitting on the beach in Ocean City brainstorming about this venture. Now, it's a full fledged reality. Of course, we're a God-centered company and we believe this is the path we've been asked to take. We covet the prayers of our friends and family, as politics is not exactly a cheery, bright place to work. We hope to show people that you can work in this arena and maintain your faith and integrity. And we can't do it without a network of supporters. So, I'm asking each of you to stand by us, hold us accountable, and pray for us regularly.

It's a Start

2010-06-23T08:03:00.000-04:00

I did it. I bought a new Bible and journal. Yesiree, I did! And they're pretty too. I have a feeling, though, that was the easy part. Now I must open them and start to process of learning how to connect with God again. After my post yesterday, Christy and Jen both left comments involving scripture. So this morning, I decided to start there. Of course, despite the fact that I was up early, Owen wasn't far behind me. But I did get about 15 minutes to read through Luke 13:34 and Psalm 130. The one word that stuck out to me, that ironically isn't mentioned in either passage, is repentance. I think I"ll chew on that for a while.

If you have more scripture suggestions for me, bring em on. Maybe I'll let my friends decide the direction I go. It's like a call for encouragement and exhortation. What passages have been speaking to you lately? What has God been teaching you?

In other news, Neil and I went on a date last night. Alicia babysat. In order to be as prepared as possible, I decided to give the kids a bath before we left. I bet you're expecting a long drawn out story about the debacle that was bath time. However, it was actually a really pleasant experience, especially when I came into the boys room to grab PJs and found Owen's play clothes neatly folded on his dresser. Seriously, for a second there, I thought we might have a ghost. I didn't even know the boy knew how to fold clothes. I think I just discovered a new chore for him. he he he.

What's on the schedule for today? Well, here's what I hope it is. We'll see what actually happens. First I'd like to go to the gym for a quick work out. Here's hoping they have a space for Madison right at 9. Then I'm heading over the the Trolley Trail for Stroller Brigade. Hopefully someone else will show up. I'm just not inclined to walk all by myself with three kids. Doesn't sound like an ounce of fun. Then, I have to head to Staples to make 400 newsletters for my neighborhood. Last, I hope we end up at the pool. Now, this will be my first time venturing off to the pool without the helpful hands of my husband. You guys can definitely pray for that. The good news is that, besides Stroller Brigade, there isn't anywhere I really have to be at any particular time, so all of this is fluid. The bad news is that there isn't anywhere I really have to be at any particular time, so all of this is fluid. See where I'm going with that? Let's just hope I don't give up and decide to sit at home and stare at a wall all day.

Coincidence or Sign of the Times?

2010-06-22T08:53:00.000-04:00

So it's not really a secret that Jesus and I have not been connecting lately? Okay, really it's just me not connecting to him. Of course,I know that the second I lift the embargo, the flood gates will open, but for some reason I'm keeping him at bay. I wish I could say that it wasn't for a lack of trying, but I can't, so we'll move on.

On my recent trip to Georgia, I left my Bible and journal in my in-law's car. I promise, it wasn't on purpose. My Mother-in-law, being the sweetheart that she is, boxed them up and shipped them off. Ironically, they never got here. I shudder at even the thought of a postal worker reading my prayer journal. All my deepest, darkest secrets in one place, exposed? Ouch! Granted, my life is a wee bit boring for deep, dark secrets, but the point is that they're my thoughts, my prayers, my insights...and now, they're gone. It's funny how I could go a week or so without even thinking about my journal, but now that it's gone, it's all I think about. Alright, maybe not all, but still!

All of a sudden, I find myself desiring to journal, but I don't have one. It's almost like a pregnancy craving, the kind that you'll do anything to satisfy. I tried just grabbing a pad of paper, but the perfectionist in me (I know, right?) just wouldn't allow me to start writing. It felt too open, unsafe. Where would I put it when I was done? What if I lost it? How would I keep them in sequential order? I know it sounds weird, but I've always been a journaler, even before they were prayers. Every now and then I like to sit down and read back over the years, to see how far I've come and how far I have to go. It's almost like a chronicle of my walk with God. When we moved to Maryland, I somehow misplaced several years worth of journals. I felt like I'd lost a huge chunk of my life.

I could always tell where I was with God based on the dates in my journal. When I was journaling every day, it was clearly a sign of good times with Jesus. The farther they got apart, the more I could tell I was depending on my own strength, allowing the muck of life to get in the way. Lately, the dates could sometimes span weeks instead of days. Sure, some of it it busyness or just getting out of the habit, but somewhere in me is a lack of desire to spend time with God...possibly even a conscious decision. Am I mad? Or hurt? Probably a little of both, and even though I know that none of it is God's fault per say, I'm guessing he's the easiest target.

My mission for the day? Find a new journal and force myself to sit down and work through these emotions that are clogging up my stairway to heaven. There can only be so many excuses.

And if you happen to be a postal worker in some post office between Grovetown, GA and Catonsville, MD and see a couple of books lying around without a home, just send them on up here, especially if one happens to be a small, blue Bible and the other, a partially written-in journal. I'll even reward you with a Starbucks card or two. I would put up a bigger reward, but then I might receive every lost book in America. And since I don't read much, that wouldn't be too much fun for me. Though I could start my own book drive and donate them to a local library.

If you're a praying person, then I covet your prayers. I want to get back to that place where I actually communed with God on a daily basis, where He was my source of life, my daily bread. And though I know that buying a new journal won't solve all my problems, it's a start.

The Broken Keyboard Again

2010-06-15T08:39:00.000-04:00

A couple months ago we were having a post yard sale, post shed building cookout with some very helpful friends. Gosh, that totally sounded like Sir Topham Hat from Thomas the Tank Engine. Anyways, Betsy was the one to find the wounded, keyless laptop. The shriek echoed up the stairs as I dropped what I was doing and booked it down the stairs. I threw myself on the floor in search of it's lost limbs, scooping up a K here and a N there. The men, hearing our moaning and wailing, come barrelling down the stairs to find us weeping for the poor, lost keyboard.

Okay, maybe I'm over dramatizing the event. It went down more like this. "Hey Hills, I think you might want to see this," said Betsy from the bottom of the stairs. After seeing the atrocity that used to be my laptop, the only thing left to say was, "OOOOOOOOWWEEEENNNNN & BBBBBLLLLLAAAKKKKEEE, Get your behinds downstairs right this second."

To my astonishment, Owen worked as a lone plucker. Blake was released while Owen faced his sentencing. He had to sit in time out while Paul & Allen attempted to rekey the board. In typical male fashion, they refused to look at a qwerty keyboard. Except for a few switched keys, the boys were able to put Humpty Dumpty back together again, and I had a mostly functioning laptop.

Fast forward to last week, Allison and Alicia are over for entirely different reasons. Welcome to Grand Central Station. You know I love the hustle and bustle. So we're in Alicia's room eying some "genius" wall painting by my very clever and mischievous 4 year old. Then I walk out for some reason or another to find, once again, a keyless laptop. This time, the culprit, one small-in-stature yet big-on-destruction 3 yr old. However you wouldn't know it by how calm, cool,and collective he was just sitting there watching whatever was on the TV. He's coy, I'll give you that, but seeing how Owen was already in time out and Madison was sleeping; there was really no other option. This time it was Allison, Alicia and I trying to replace the keys. This time we used another Qwerty keyboard as our guide. We were able to switch back the keys previously reversed, but now instead of 4 permanently missing keys, I now had 10. Add to that the fact that most keys required a hard press or two before it would type, I realized that I could no longer function with a broken keyboard.

So I called Acer, who politely told me that they would be happy to replace the keyboard. Oh yay, really? Yep, for $199. What? The computer isn't even worth that. Can't you just sell me a keyboard and I can do it myself? Nope, I'm guessing they don't trust the end user with a few screws and a plug.

Then someone said to me, "Hillary,why don't you just go on Ebay and order a new keyboard?" Oh my, the could the solution really be that simple? Sure enough, I found pages and pages of brand new Acer 5517 keyboards just waiting for me to buy one. A click here, a little Paypal there and voila! Now all I have to do is wait a few more days, and it won't take me 4 hours to type a paragraph.

All of that, though completely 100% true, was also a little bit of a metaphor for how I feel in my life right now, like a broken keyboard. I can't go into all the details, but let's just say I could use some prayer. I'm pretty sure that there isn't as easy a solution (especially since I can't buy a new me), but I would like to be fully restored, no matter how painful the process is. Functioning right now is a bit like working with the flawed and damaged keyboard. It probably doesn't help that I feel far from God right now as well. Okay, it doesn't help at all. In fact, it's probably what has gotten me here in the first place. Regardless, if you're a praying person, please do so for me and my family.

My Passion: Lost or On Hold

2010-06-08T20:24:00.000-04:00

I can't tell you how many times a day I think, "Oh, I should blog about that," like Blake's reversal in potty training or my near emotional breakdown. Writing is such a release for me, a chance to vent frustrations or dive deeper into my own psyche.

People ask me all the time how I manage to do it all, be a wife and a mother, a community activist, a mom advocate, and a political junkie. Truth is that it isn't easy, and comes with a price, more like a sacrifice. Lately, I've gone from blogging at least every other day to maybe once a week, if that. I miss it, more than words can even express. You know what else I miss, spending time with God. Yep, it's funny how the things nearest and dearest to my heart are the first things to go when faced with a time crunch. I feel like I'm constantly managing the urgent but not all that important, like picking up the same toys forty times in one day. But don't get me started on trying to keep a house somewhat presentable. (I gave up on clean a long time ago).

I thought maybe I could bring you up to date in a manner suitable to my current time constraint: the Glee season finale (both urgent and important...he he).

Kid free time was amazing, restful and downright frisky (or so Neil says)
I turned 32 (yuk)
Went to Florida, saw my mom, the beach, and ate way too much restaurant food
Got a tick bite that got infected and forced me to see a doc twice while on vacation.
Came home just in time to celebrate Blake's 3rd birthday and rock out at an 80's prom.
Won the dance contest at the 80's prom (well...almost)...took my mom.
Blake had a pirate themed party and showed off his new jungle gym.
Madison got bronchilitis for the 3rd time in 3 months...hope it's not asthma
Hung out with Jo and Ang is Chapel Hill, which was very good for my phyche
Met with Vanessa and Mandy about turning More than Moms into a non-profit...more to come on that.
Got a chance to work the Red, White and Blue dinner this Thursday featuring Mitt Romney...it's a $200 event. he he
Sent out my first press release today.
Owen is almost done with the Tots program and I've signed both him and Blake up for their summer clinic. Sad and happy all at the same time.
Walking in Relay for Life this Saturday with Whisler Walking in memory of my dad. Consider a donation.

The Awaited Vacation

2010-05-04T22:19:00.000-04:00

My in-laws come tomorrow beginning, what I hope to be, a much needed break from the chaos that is my life. They are coming for two reasons. One, to build the play fort/ jungle gym in the back yard and two, to take the kids back with them. Yep, you read write. On Monday, all 3 of my beautiful children will be leaving the state without a single parent, leaving Neil and I alone. What will we do with ourselves? Of course, I will most likely fill any space emptied by the absence of children with some other conundrum. For the moment let's pretend that I will be sleeping in til noon, eating cold pizza for breakfast and having nothing but "fun" with my hubby. Oops, did I actually type that? Oh well, you all thought it. For three entire days, I will be at home, during the day, with no kids. I actually get to go out to dinner with Neil on my birthday and not have to hire a babysitter. Sweet!

I do have another plan as well, especially for the daytime. As much as I would like to sleep til noon, it's really not in my nature. I'd rather use my time wisely, and I can't think of a better way then to start the process of planning a new venture. Oh, that's right, I haven't told you about said venture because I've been such a blog slacker. My friends, Betsy,Leslie, and I are thinking of (more like planning on) starting a political consulting business post election. Of course, if Steve wins, that bodes well for us. Either way, we're diving in, and I thought I might use my kid-free days to meet with politicians, candidates, and consultants, picking their already fried brains. It's an election year, everyone's brain is fried and scrambled. Now if only we had a name for this business. Hmmm...chew on that one for me, ok?

Back to my kid-less adventure: It doesn't end there. On Thursday, I'll wake up bright and early (AKA before noon) and make my way down to Chapel Hill to visit non other than my BFF's Jo and Angela. I haven't even met Ang's new baby yet (and he's almost 6 months old). I'll spend 2 days there before heading to Augusta to pick up my beloved offspring. From there, we'll make the 7 hour drive to Panama City Beach to see my mom. As the week comes to a close, we'll get back in the car (Mom included) and put the peddle to the meddle all the way back to Maryland, arriving just in time to throw Blake's 3rd Birthday Party and attend the 80's Prom with Team Whisler (yep, I'm making Mom go and buy some 80's garb). Are you jealous yet? No, really, you know you are.

I personally can't wait for the adventure to begin. I'll try and not be a blog slacker during the trip, but I make no promises.

Walking, Pooping and Keyboards

2010-05-03T07:33:00.000-04:00

What could be better than a walking 15 month old and a potty trained almost 3 year old? They're all mobile, which means I can unleash them into the wild (aka the back yard). And Blake has leaped over his last hurdle in potty training, 'dropping off the kids in the pool." Now to teach his potty etiquette, aiming, wiping, and flushing. Beware when you come to visit, in a house with 3 boys (yes I count Neil in that), you always have to look at the seat before sitting down. It doesn't matter how many times I clean that toilet before company comes over, the boys inevitably make it look like a public bathroom from hell in a matter of moments.

Now onto the brunt of why I write today...mainly I'm testing out my keyboard. Why? Because Owen much has been feeling left out with all the talk of walking and pottying, because Saturday night, he thought it would be fun to take every key off my keyboard. Yep, every single one. Paul and Allen graciously offered to reassemble what they could, which surprisingly was most of it. However a few keys are reversed like the F & G and the comma and period. And several keys don't yet have a home due to missing springs. Some keys stick, which slows down my typing considerably. Yes, I'm not exactly a happy camper, especially considering, in the end, it will probably need professional assistance, as may I before this whole childhood thing is over.

So send out your thoughts to me today as I rejoice in the triumphs and accomplishments of parenthood, and at the same time attempt to maintain a bit of sanity (and at least one computer). The end (the typing is annoying me).

Scariest Day of my Life

2010-04-12T08:22:00.000-04:00

Like the onset of a scary movie, this particular day began in the normal, except for the fact that Neil was on his annual kayaking trip of course. We spent most of the morning at a neighbor's house for a More than Moms' book club brunch. Though I didn't actually read the book, I certainly enjoyed the company and distraction. As we ventured home, my plan was to put Madison down for a nap, let the boys play for a few minutes and then head up with Blake. The rest of the afternoon was supposed to be about laundry and Windex. However, I'm guessing that just didn't sound exciting enough now did it?

It was a little after 1:00, and I was folding the last few remnants of three loads of laundry. The electrician was working in what used to be the bar area at the base of the stairs. Owen and Blake were playing an intense game of build the fort, which required nearly every pillow and blanket in the house. During one of their missions, Blake lost his balance on the stairs, fell off the side from about five steps up, and landed on the side of his forehead. From the sound of it, I half expected to find a bloody, cracked skull. Instead, there wasn't even a goose egg. This is when the panic set in and I knew we were going somewhere.

Of course I can't leave the other kids with the electrician, even though he seemed nice enough. So I called Mandy, my host from the morning. I didn't know who else could get there that quickly. I'm so indebted to her graciousness. She came right over. I put Blake in the van and took off towards the Kaiser urgent care. In route, I called the advice nurse who began asking me a series of questions. "Did he lose consciousness?" "No." "How long did he cry?" "About 5 minutes." "Is he alert and responsive to his name?" "Um, Let me check." This is where it got scary. I began calling out to Blake who was sitting in his seat, staring out the window. His jaw was loose; his stare a little too eerie for my taste. He didn't acknowledge me in any way, almost like he was catatonic. I pulled over so that I could get back there with him and try again. Still, no response. He just stared out the window. It was then that the advice nurse told me to call 911, so I did.

As I'm waiting there in a random parking lot, every situation imaginable flows in and out of my consciousness. Suddenly, I'm thinking about Natasha Richardson, who died from a head injury that didn't seem that bad at first. I'm wondering how I'm going to get a hold of Neil, who's on a river somewhere without a cell phone, should things go awry . I think we'll remedy that phone thing this week. I can only imagine how he felt when I recounted the events of the day at half past 10 that night.

Meanwhile, Blake is starting to fall asleep and I am trying anything to keep him awake. The sirens did the trick. From this point, it all becomes a blur. The firemen and medics poured into my van like a reverse circus act. They stabilized his head, transporting him in his car seat, which was extremely smart because I'm not sure I would have thought to bring it with me. They sat me down in the ambulance and began "working" on Blake. Because of the position of the seat, he couldn't see me for several minutes. He didn't cry, whimper, or flinch. He just wouldn't respond. It was during this time that I was able to send out a quick tweet updating my friends and family to the situation. Finally, I was able to come to his side and hold his limp hand. He still didn't look at me. And when the medics inserted the IV needle, he didn't even acknowledge it. The EMT's gave each other a rather concerned look, and I lost it inside. Panic overtook me and tears began to flow. Of course I kept my outward appearance as strong as I could, but inside I was more frightened than I have ever been.

Arriving at the hospital was like a scene out of Grey's Anatomy. I half expected McDreamy himself to greet us. There were people everywhere, and every single one of them asked me the same exact questions. And I'm pretty sure one of them was from Child Protective Services. I'm pretty sure that's routine. By this point, he had begun to "wake up" a little. His eyes would dart around, his hand would at least grasp my hand though not with any sort of strength. By the time we got into the CT scan room, he was even starting to look a little frightened himself. I never thought I'd actually be relieved to see my child show fear. During the scan, he suddenly blurts out, "It stopped," speaking about the machine he was lying inside.

Scans were clear, vital signs normal. Now it became a waiting game. The doctor's would not release him until he passed a couple tests, one was telling the docs that he didn't feel any pain in his neck. This was no simple task. Whatever progress we had made while in the room by ourselves, was eradicated as soon as any person wearing scrubs entered the room. I could tell the boy was traumatized on top of everything else. Eventually we bribed him with Oreos and he was able to say that he wasn't in pain. A+ Blake. Now all he has to do is keep the Oreos and juice down for 30 minutes. All the while, he's improving, speaking more, moving more. The panic had subsided and now all I wanted to do was take my son home, which was not an easy task in a hospital like Hopkins. But we arrived on Hubner just before 8:00 pm, in time to put the boys to bed. And have a glass of wine with my friend and lifesaver.

Of course, I have to give a shout out to all of you who helped. Mandy, who watched my kids for hours on end. Katy and Wes, who came and picked us up even though it delayed their evening plans. Joyce and Tim who selflessly retrieved my van from that random parking lot on Rolling Rd. My mom and sister who continually called to check up. And all my friends and family who made sure to keep us in their thoughts and prayer. The support overwhelmed me. I don't know how I would have made it through with out you.

We've Been Invaded

2010-03-25T08:34:00.000-04:00

I love Spring, the sun shining down and making even a chilly day slightly warmer; the daffodils popping up almost immediately after the snow melted; the ants making their way towards my freshly baked cookies. Stop! I don't like that last part. They must be on the same schedule as the daffodils, popping up everywhere right after the Great Thaw. "We survived the winter down in the ground. Now we're starving. Let's eat." And poof, they're on my bookcase, counter, and Owen's lunchbox. I'm telling you. We're been invaded.

Of course, we're not new to this. No matter where we live, ants always seem to be a problem. I'm starting to think that the same colony follows us everywhere, like they declared war on us 8 years ago in Atlanta. They probably breed their armies just to make sure they win the war: full-on annoyance. I wonder what would happen if I just surrendered. Do you think they'd understand if I waved a teeny tiny white flag. Or better yet, does anyone speak ant? Maybe we could start negotiations. Is Jimmy Carter still available for that? Scratch that, he'd probably be more willing to work for them.

Owen and Blake have already enlisted themselves into the battle. Yesterday, while I'm packing up Madison, the boys on sitting on the front porch marveling at the little beings. Then Owen starts pounding them with his finger. First of all, gross. Second of all, "Owen, if they're outside of the house, then it's neutral ground. You shouldn't be smashing them." Then Owen says, "But Mommy, we have to kill them." Oh boy, considering the boy can't even fathom death yet, where did he pick that up? I'm picturing a school yard, several boys, an ant hill, and a magnifying glass. Wait a second, Owen isn't in school yet...at least not where there is a yard. Hmmm! I guess he gets it from his role model parents then. Yikes!

Still the battle ensues, one that has just begun and will most likely continue until the snow falls again. Never thought I'd be ready for another Snowmageddon. Maybe that's all part of God's amazing plan.

Crossing the Line

2010-03-22T14:59:00.000-04:00

I'm about to do something I said I wouldn't do post last September, but this time I can't help it. I have to share this with all of you. If you're as angry as I am over this whole Obamacare debacle, please consider getting involved in some form or fashion in your local political circles.

Most of you know that I've been working on a local County Council race for the last 6 months. Being a Republican in Maryland is difficult in it of itself, especially when you're attempting to replace a Democrat seat with a Republican. However, I have to say that I've never felt so invigorated. I was so tired of yelling at the TV when those dopes in Washington said this or passed that. Finally, I feel like I can actually make a difference in my own community. I know that most of the people that read this blog aren't actually from my area, and many of you might consider yourselves apolitical, but regardless of where you are, whether it's a red state, blue state, or truly purple state, there is always something that can be done.

I just posted a blog entry on the PVRC site that I would love each of you to read. If you're interested in getting involved, whether it's in Maryland or wherever you live, just send me an email and I'll hook you up.

Thanks for putting up with me.

Spring Flinging; No Bitterness Lingering.

2010-03-20T16:57:00.001-04:00

I've spent the better part of the day clearing, cleaning, and organizing. Slowly, I'm digging through the muck of winter and changing over to Spring. It's freeing, almost, being able to let go of "too smalls" or the "too bigs" or even the "too uglys". The more I clean though, the more there is to do. It really is an endless cycle. Honestly, I can't wait for our annual Yard Sale, coming up on May 1. Finally I'll have the use of two closets that have been taken over by unwanted stuff. If I wasn't so selfish and greedy, I'd just donate it all to charity. Of course, that's where most of it will end up after all is said and done, but I'd like to have some kind of return on investment.

I've been setting up an office in one of our spare rooms in the basement, reclaiming it from the boys. It's so nice to have a place to gather the four corners of my life, campaign, church, mom's group, and neighborhood association.

In the process, I've also been digging through old picture frames. Keep this, chuck that, hang this...pause, who's that handsome man in that photo embracing that fabulously young and rather skinny girl? Oh yeah, it's my Dad. I love that picture, taken just months before Neil and I relocated to Maryland. All was well then. No one was sick or hurting. That picture now hangs on the wall next to my desk, along with a montage of old and new friends, early pics of Neil and me, and even my Dad's first magazine cover. I feel surrounded by love and good memories.

I have to say that for the better part of two years, I've been hiding my Dad. Anything and everything that reminded me of him, I placed inside a box. It was just too painful to look at. And even today, as I glanced upon his face, tears would fall, but it felt different...peaceful. I smiled. I chuckled to myself as I remembered that very day at my sister's house. Maybe the bitter times have passed and I can now remember him for who he was...my Dad, who once again hangs on my wall, greeting me as I pass by, reminding me that I'm his little girl. I truly think he would be proud.

Pee Pee in the Potty

2010-03-19T07:47:00.000-04:00

After months of hinting and begging and all but forcing Blake to go potty, it finally clicked. The boy apparently just needed his Daddy. While I was away Saturday, working on the campaign, Blake decided it was time to transcend into boyhood. By lunch he had put his pee pees in the potty three times. Like any parent, I was prepared for this to be a fluke, an accident of pee pee proportions. Or maybe Neil was the magic key? Would his return to work signal a reversal? Low and behold with the exception of a few minor accidents, mostly my fault, and of course #2, Blake has been in underwear all week long.

For those of you without kids, you must know, on some level, that this, my friend, is no minor feat. Potty training, in it of itself, is a full time job, and I already have several of those. You have to plan more time into everything, especially when venturing out. As I found out yesterday, there is no such thing as a quick run to the store before picking up Owen. In other words, I set Blake up for failure. You simply can't tell a 2 year old, who a few days ago peed at will, to hold it, even if it is just for a few moments. Yes, yes, I've been through this before, but that was a year and a half ago. I can barely remember what I did last week.

The good news is that I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Having two potty trained children means being able to go to Ikea and letting them play in the Smaland while Madison and I wander aimlessly through the store with Katy and Bekah. Yep, that actually happened. I'm thinking that Ikea might become a weekly trip for us. But probably not...like I have time.

Why Is Everybody Always Picking On Me???

2010-03-10T09:01:00.000-05:00

It seems that my high school bully has reincarnated herself in the form of three monsters named, Owen, Blake and Madison. Seriously, you don't believe me? Honestly, it's actually fairly genius. In fact, I could make a fortune if I could market this strategy to high school bullies everywhere. Or better yet, maybe I was a bully to someone else and this is my payback. Regardless, I have a whole gang of bullies living under my roof and I have become their target.

What? You can't see how such sweet and innocent children can torture me so? Let's start with a for instance. Earlier this morning, I'm sitting in my reclining chair attempting to read my Bible when Blake comes pummeling towards me, throws himself into my lap and tosses my Bible onto the floor. Moments later, I hear Madison screeching from inside the confines of her lair. I carefully remove my first leech and head into her room with a smile plastered on my face. As soon as I open the door, I'm greeted with another ear piercing screech and a stuffed animal flying towards my face. At this point, I realize I am under attack. I duck and roll towards the crib and spring up. I grab the bully baby, sweep her into my arms, and head towards the kitchen. Bullies are always a bit nicer when they've had a bite to eat.

As I round the corner, I find Thing 1 and Thing 2 hovering over a box of donut holes. When they see me, their eyes widen like deer caught in headlights, mouths lined in white powder. Owen smiles coyly. "Hi Mommy," he mutters while drooling crumbs onto the floor. A quick "mom" look from me and the two scatter, fleeing to the table, where Owen asks, "Mommy, may I can I have a donut please?" There I stand surrounded and completely speechless.

I little while later, I ask Owen to get dressed and Blake to pick up the toys he'd just dumped all over the floor. Guess how long it took them to accomplish said tasks? I'll let you know when they finish.

Maybe I'm over exaggerating a bit, and maybe the events of this morning weren't as extreme a picture as I've painted. Maybe my kids are just kids and I'm border lining on conspiracy theorist, but sometimes I swear it's a calculated take down of the "Mommy."

Could there be some sort of underground school where children go and learn just what buttons to push? I'm quite positive there is and that it is taught my high school bullies.

Disclaimer: I, in no way, feel that my children are in fact monsters. I love them dearly.

Standing By Strangers

2010-03-02T14:05:00.002-05:00

Every once in a while, someone posts a comment on my Dad's blog. Normally though they're just spam, but today I got a post that literally broke my heart. I've been thinking about Dad a lot lately, being reminded of him in the whispers of life, but this was more of a slap in the face (and not in a bad way). We're coming up on two years, you know? That just seems unbelievable. I honestly think that the more time passes, the more I miss him, the harder it is to imagine he's gone. Maybe I never really dealt. Maybe I just avoided and put off the pain. Either way, a loss is a loss is a loss.

Here's what Jeanette wrote to me on the his blog:

"You probably weren't thinking this blog would ever get checked again but I wanted to say thanks to you, your mother, and your father for sharing your journey. My father was diagnosed with terminal kidney cancer 4 days ago and I'm learning everything I can, everywhere I can. Some people prefer ignorance. For myself, if this disease is going to take my father, I am going to know every last stinking detail about it and read every story I can. Your father was a special man. God Bless all of you. Jeanette"

And here is what I felt compelled to write to her. I hope you, as my friends and confidantes, will keep Jeanette and her father in your prayers. It is not an experience I would wish on anyone.

Jeanette,

I’d like to say that I can’t imagine the horror you must be feeling right now, but I still vividly remember the day my Dad told me he had cancer. I was at lunch with a pseudo-friend, someone I knew but wouldn’t necessarily lean on. Seeing as my Dad rarely called, I simply had to answer. I could tell immediately that something was wrong. Dad certainly tried to cover his pain and confusion with a few light hearted jokes and heavy sarcasm, but it wasn’t working. At first we had no idea how serious it was. They didn’t even know what type of cancer he had, but they were thinking it might have been lung.

He went to see the radiologist on the same day my husband and I were scheduled to find out the sex of our baby. I can’t tell you how surreal it was to walk into the Radiology Department knowing that I was getting good news and he was getting bad. A few hours later, he called to tell me that it was Stage 4 Renal Cell Cancer. I didn’t even know what a renal cell was, much less that it would take my Dad away from me.

Dad lived for just over three years post diagnosis, and I was there was the last 5 weeks. If you’d like you can go to my blog, www.hillsofchaos.blogspot.com, click on Dad under the Tags, and follow along my journey. I didn’t even start blogging until that February 08, just a couple months before he passed, but I chronicled my time with him up until the end. I don’t know if it will bring your solace or not.

I would also suggest befriending Manual Lopez on Facebook. He is a warrior in this great battle and was a good friend of my Dad’s though they never actually met. There is a great network of people out there waiting to support you and your Dad. Please let me know if you need anything.

Hillary

Sometimes we're called to embrace strangers, to stand together, to support one another, to lift one another up. Who needs you today? Who could use a hug? Or a prayer? Or a hot cup of coffee?

Pajama Day

2010-02-25T09:43:00.001-05:00

Sometimes you just need a day to lounge around in your PJ's. Apparently this is going to be one of those days. Of course, I didn't plan it that way. Who does? Right now, I should be leaving to take Owen to school and then it would be all about running errands, some real and some contrived, until it was time to pick him up. Once again, it would have been a jam packed day ending with a rushed sweep of the house to prepare for yet another evening of guests. Apparently, God had a different plan. Yesterday, as I was returning from a busy morning, I cut the corner too close, hit the wall in my driveway, and popped the tire. Consequently, Neil had to take the van to work this morning so he could get new tires put on the car. I made a small effort to get Owen to school, but then just decided to declare this Pajama Day.

As I type this, Owen, Blake and Madison are sliding down a make shift slide made out of an old sturdy shelf and the ottoman, each of them donning their PJ's. Funny, but they don't seem a bit concerned about my daily agenda put on hold. At this moment, neither do I. In fact, I'm seeing it as a blessing, an expensive one, but a blessing none the less. Sometimes I need to stop, take pause, and just enjoy the freedom I've been given.

This has been an insane week. Sometimes I don't even know how I do it. With three kids, a husband and a dog, More than Moms, the Whisler campaign, the Neighborhood association, and Fusion, I'm never sure how I manage it all. But somehow God gets me through, and I know that hidden beneath the surface is a purpose, to glorify my Maker. Somehow, all of these things are intertwined. Sometimes it feel like a game of Connect the Dots, and I've so enjoyed the process. I would have never put myself here, not in a million years, but I love every minute of it, and it's never, ever boring. But I do need to take a break sometimes, even if it's forced, to be still and know that He is God (NOT ME).

I'm thankful that I've had the opportunity this week, more like made the opportunity, to spend time with God each morning. It's been a while since I've had more than one quiet time in a week, much less in a row. I've been going through this book that my friend, Clare, gave me last week called Praying for Purpose. Each day covers a new topic and surprisingly (why I'm surprised by God, I don't know) it's been just what I needed to hear. I've noticed my patience level go up, my awareness of what God's doing around me increase, and the chaos within me calm. Why don't I do this more often? Seriously!

On a lighter note, I just found out that our friends, Noe and Amanda, are moving back to the States from Africa. They were the ones that we bought our house from and became good friends of ours over the next year. They've decided that it would be best for them to come home. They can continue to run the ministry from the States and this way, they can adopt a 4th child. I hope you guys with join me in praying for their transition back to the States. For more information, read their Newsletter.

Writer's Block

2010-02-23T08:28:00.000-05:00

For a while now, I've literally come to complete stop when I think about updating my blog. I vividly remember the days when I'd write 5-7 blogs in a week. Of course I do, it was like 6 months ago. Ever since my life turned upside down and split off into 14 different directions, it's been more and more difficult for me to find the words to put here. On a day to day basis, I am a wife and a mom, a community activist and a connection point for other moms, a friend and a church planter. Obviously, a completely inactive, boring life, right? To be honest, I'm still trying to find that balance. Most of the time I'm flying from one thing to the next without a second to slow down and get a quick whiff of the coffee.

This week alone, we have meetings in our house every single night (except Friday & then it's prayer meeting at Sarah's). Last night was the Whisler cabinet meeting, today is playgroup, and then tonight is our street rep social for our neighborhood. Tomorrow is the Whisler communications meeting and Thursday is Bible study. Don't get me wrong, I love every second of it, and happen to have the most supportive husband who allows it all to occur. What would I do without him?

Even with all this commotion, I still can't find a single thing to write about. Right now, I want to backspace to the beginning and start over. Where is my mojo? Normally I sit down and start typing and it just all comes together. But maybe with the lack of direction comes a lack of motivation. The reason I haven't been updating often is that I'm not really inspired to write anything. And when I am, I suddenly get really busy, time passes, and then it just doesn't seem so inspiring after all. Have you guys ever been there?

I thought maybe this would get me over the hump. You know, like when you work out. You dread it, make excuses, eat cake instead. Then finally, you force yourself into your gym shorts and onto the Elliptical (or the Expresso Recumbent Bike Experience in my case) and you just do it. At the end, you feel invigorated, energized, and ready to go again. That's what this entry is about for me; I'm pushing through hoping that at the end, I will feel invigorated, energized and ready to go again.

Difficult Day

2010-02-03T15:29:00.000-05:00

It never ceases to amaze me that I can be online several hours a day, checking my email, updating political blogs and websites, working on More than Moms stuff, and still neglect my own personal blog. I wonder if it's because I try to keep my personal stuff here, segregated from the politics and such. However, after I've written a sarcastic and opinionated piece for the PVRC and a couple deals and steals for More than Moms, there really isn't much more to talk about...or I'm too pooped from the rest of my life (you know, the three kids, husband, and a dog).

But today, I've hit a wall and need to vent. It's been one of those days. You know of what I speak, right? One of those days you wish you could replay over and over again until you got it right. That's the day I've had. It would have worked better for the blog's sake if this day had actually happened yesterday since it was Groundhog Day, then I could pun off the movie.(If you don't know what movie I speak of then you're most likely under 25 and are not up on your 80's classics...sorry)

It's not like the week started great though either. I spent most of Sunday and all day Monday feeling completely awful. I'd prepared myself for a full out onslaught of goop and gunk, but yesterday morning, I woke up feeling...well, better. Aunt Flo had come to town (if you don't know what I'm talking about, then you're a guy), and the first day she's here is just bleh. So I decided we'd stay home and chill out. Next time I have that bright idea, someone please throw a pie at me. Three kids cooped up in a house all day plus "bleh" mom equals breakdown. Thankfully it was Chick-fil-a night which brightened my spirits. The kids went down easy for bed, and then Neil and I enjoyed 2 full hours of Lost bliss.

So I wake up this morning to 5 inches of snow and Owen's school canceled, which I was mostly prepared for since it was snowing all night. I decided to have a different attitude than normal, a good one. I pulled out my journal and Bible and spent some good time with God, for the first time in at least a week. So far, so good. Then I encountered a certain email that just set the tone for my day, an email from a difficult person who operates like a thorn in my side. From that point on, I chose to allow this person's remarks to shape my day. Of course the events themselves could not have been avoided, but my reaction to them could have.

Let's start with my plan. With it being a snow day, I thought it best to get the kids out of the house. Why not the gym? They can play and I get a break. So we get there, I drop off the kids, and go to change. Not even 2 minutes after I walked out of the locker room, one of the child watcher's came to me and said Blake had a runny nose and I had to come get him. A couple of deep breaths later, I walked back into the locker room, changed clothes, and went back to pick up my kids. Okay, plan B. Owen needed a new coat since he'd lost 2 this season. Why not head to BJ's? I'm sure they have a jacket at a reasonable price. I'll pop in, get the kids a hot dog, pick up a couple minor things, get the jacket and be home by 1. Yeah, not so much. I should have known better though. Who can really pop in and pop out of BJ's, especially not with so many great coupons available? Needless to say, I was there for nearly 2 hours, and the kids started breaking down around the 1.5 hour mark, and I still needed to get the jacket. Really, I do this crap to myself. Then after I checked out, I realized that the jacket I picked was in the wrong place and was $10 more than I thought it was. By this point. I'm ready to pull out my hair. Blake is literally climbing on top of the car cart. Owen is hanging out the side. Madison is simply fed up, and I can't see straight. But still I trudge to the clothing section to save a few bucks, and get the heck out of there. In the process, I learn that my business cards for Team Whisler actually won't be ready until Monday...even though I was told 3-4 business days which would have been today or tomorrow. I get a response from my difficult person of the day and it was even more petty and trite than before. By this point, I'd forgotten all that had come from my deep and focused time with God. I was done, at the end of my rope. After I loaded the kids in the car, I just prayed for quietness for the ride home. Thankfully, I got it. Deep breath. Deep breath. You would think that in those moments of silence, I'd regroup, spend time praying for my day and the people I'd encountered, but no, I chose to wallow in it. Am I any better off now? Not so much.

I'm thankful that God doesn't just toss me to the way side when I neglect Him, that His mercy and grace have no expiration date. I can always come back to the right path, make the right choice, the one that will glorify Him, Granted, there are still earthly consequences to my actions, like I might have to apologize to my kids for losing my mind, or I've wasted precious time on ridiculous junk that I can't get back. It's so easy to point fingers, to play the blame game, to throw a pity party, but what good are these things? What do I stand to gain from them?

At this moment, I chose to filter the rest of my day through God's eyes.

On a side note: Could you all pray that the snow holds off this weekend? (maybe not entirely, but just long enough to not mess with the Women's Breakfast planned for Saturday morning) Thanks!

I Dove In and Survived!

2010-01-13T15:12:00.000-05:00

I can't tell how you scary it is to put the first drop of dye on your hair. Never before have I dyed my hair a shade darker than my natural color. I figured it was time for a change. It is Winter, right? A time when brunette's shine and blonde's dull. Don't be offended blondes, I am in fact, one of you at heart, which was precisely the problem. An hour ago, my hair was all naturale, no dye, no highlights, no nada, and it was absolutely driving me crazy. And even productless, I still had roots. So I decided. I was going to make a change, one way or the other. Now, given my lack of confidence and self-esteem, I had to poll my audience. They chose brown. Of course, I was already leaning that way anyways. I think I just wanted to make sure I wasn't about to ruin the next 8 weeks of my life, at least cosmetically. The rest follows in typical Hillary suit, went to Target, picked out a color, bought it, brought it home, put whatever kids would take a nap down, and dove in. For the entire the 25 minutes that I had to wait, I mouthed various obscenities under my breath. "What was I thinking? No turning back now. Holy Camoli!" (The PG version).

But as I was about to step into the shower to rinse it all out, I thought to myself, "this is what I do." I get tired of the norm and I change it. I'm not an idle person. I thrive under stress. I'm most productive when I'm busy. If something's not being done, I do it myself. In other areas of my life, I seem to dive in without fear, so why should I care about the color of my hair?

Regardless, it's done. I can't change it, at least not now. And bottom line, I don't hate it. If you hate it, just don't tell me.

Lovable or Terrible? Or in my case, both?

2010-01-07T22:17:00.000-05:00

Disclaimer: I love all of my children deeply.

I have three children, two boys and a girl. My middle child, Blake, is 2 1/2 going on 6 months. If I wasn't losing all of my hair from postpartum hormones, I'd be pulling it out in chunks. Scratch that, I'd already be bald. It's almost as if he was born knowing he'd be the middle child. The incessant whining coupled with the bull headed resistance would be enough to drive any mother (and father, for that matter) insane, but with Blake, I get the added bonus of the absolute sweetest smile in the world. No matter how mad I get, he flips the switch and I find myself falling for his charm every time (well, almost). It's like an endless cycle. Oh please, let it come to an end soon.

As much as I want to cherish these moments, to hold onto their youth, by 5 pm every day, I'm at my wits end. I catch myself often saying, "if only I could get him past this stage, I'd be good." But is that really the truth? Doesn't "if only" get us into more trouble in the end? We build up expectations that are doomed to disappoint us. You know, the grass is always greener on the other side. The problem in the this situation is that Blake has an older brother, and I've seen the 3's...not too much better than the 2's. Trust me. Right now, he's learning to communicate better, or at least more, and certainly repetitively. Next he'll be testing boundaries and asserting his independence. By four, it will all be about defiance, or at least attempted defiance. Of course, we all know he gets all of this from his dad. They all do. :)!

Today, Blake started swim lessons. Now this is a Mommy & me class. He can't be on his own until he's at least 3. Trust me, he would have done much better if I were not there. What is that about? Since when did I become a hindrance to my own child? Regardless, I've learned several lessons, the first being to not tell him what we're doing until we do it. From the second he woke up, all he could talk about was swimming (or should I say whine about.) "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, I waaaant to go swimming. Mommy, I waaaannaaa go swimming. Mommy, MOMMY, I wannnnnaaaaaa go swimming. I waaaaannntttt juice. Mommy, I waaaannnnaaaa go swimming." You get my point, right? It didn't matter how many times I gave him the agenda for the morning, it literally felt like I was listening to a broken record of nails on a chalkboard. It's just flat out incessant.

Then we walk into the pool area, equipped with swimsuits and towels. The boy freaks out. "MOMMY, I don't waaannnnaaaa swim. I don't wannnaaannnaaannnaaannnaanann swim. Mommy, MOMMY! No!" Of course he's saying all of this as he's walking closer and closer to the pool.

At this point, I figure it's best to just get it. Sure, we're a little early, so we'll use the time to adjust. So I don't sound like a broken record myself, keep in mind that he's continuing to tell me how much he doesn't want to swim. He steps on the first step, freaks out, then steps on the second step. Then he wants "up," to which I said, "If you take one more step, I'll pick you up." Insert whining here. He steps down onto the third step. This pretty much went on for the entire 30 minutes. He basically was a stellar student, kicking, jumping, going under, and even cracking a smile. The only problem was that he never stopped whining. When it was all over, we climbed out of the pool and wrapped ourselves in our towel. Then he starts up again, "Mommy, I'mmmm cold. Mommy, I'm cold. MOMMY, I wannaa go swimming. Mommy, I wanna goooooo swimming." And so on and so forth. Hence is the story of my life, all day long, everyday.

It's not like I give into him. I don't. He doesn't get what he wants unless he asks for it. The whining doesn't work with me, and he knows it. It's almost like he does it just because he knows I don't like it, almost as if he doesn't really want anything except to annoy me. Of course, I understand that a 2 year old doesn't have the capability to scheme like that, or at least I hope not.

Hopefully, he'll learn that it doesn't work and move on soon. I honestly think I deal better with defiance then whining. Although I will say that it's already starting to kick in. Try asking Blake to go potty. Oh man, that's a whole other can of worms, one that will most assuredly drive me to baldness.

And the Winner Is...

2010-01-03T22:57:00.000-05:00

Neil found $2.06 in the radio of the van. That means CRT wins. Congratulations. Send me your info and I will send you your money. You can do a lot with $2.06, like buy half of a Grande Caramel Machiatto at Starbucks, put an extra couple bucks towards your mortgage payment, or even buy a candy bar and a 20 oz soda at some quickie marts.

Lesson learned: Don't leave loose change in your car when small children are not tied down (I mean, strapped into their car seats)

Tomorrow starts a brand new year. I know, technically the year started on the first, but given the fact that my in-laws were here, my husband was off work, and Owen out of school...it doesn't count. My year officially starts tomorrow. Life will return to normalcy, if that even exists. I can't wait to get back into the groove of things. It's weird how I can beg for some kind of break from the madness, but when I get one, all I want to do is get back to it. What can I say? I'm a creature of habit. I like my routine. If there is nothing on my agenda, then I accomplish absolutely nothing, and I can't tell you how defeating that is.

Alright, given the fact that I really have to pee and my husband is snoring beside me, I'm going to call it a night. Welcome back to the real world, Hillary! It missed you!

Contest: Guess How Much, Get a Prize!

2009-12-29T15:53:00.000-05:00

So, for Christmas, Neil bought me this device thingy that allows me to play my iPod in my antiquated minivan. In order to install it, he had to remove what we thought was a broken stereo. The CD player hadn't worked for months. We knew it was probably due to the children thinking the CD slot was a reverse ATM machine, but we were thinking more along the lines of a couple pennies.

Neil shook out all the change, and voila, our CD player actually works again, and I can play my iPod. Double score! Now, guess how much change he found in the radio? The person closest without going over, wins the money!

On your mark, get set, GO!!! Only guesses submitted in the comments of the blog count in the contest.

(Disclaimer: If I've already told you the amount, you are not eligible to play. Sorry Mom!)

Merry Christmas from the Pennington's

2009-12-29T15:47:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas Y’all! My name’s Madison Riley, the newest addition to the Pennington clan, as of January 17^th. My arrival changed things up, but in a good way. Mommy was getting a little bogged down with all the boy’s pent up energy. Now that’s the important stuff, but since I’m obligated to tell you the rest, I will.

So we go to this church called Fusion, which used to be a service at this other church but is now becoming a plant up where we live. Mom had to give up her job at camp to do so, but apparently it was worth it, something about a community. I don’t get what all the fuss is about yet, but I do like hanging out with the other babies in the nursery. Owen and Blake talk about their friend Jesus a lot. I think it’s a little weird that they sing songs about a guy I can’t see, but Mommy says I’ll get it someday. I sure hope so.

What else? We traveled to Georgia in June to celebrate my GG-Daddy & GG-Mommy’s 60^th wedding anniversary. It was cool to meet all these people for the first time, & I totally got to be the center of attention, especially to my Aunt Becca. We also took a really long trip in August, and spent a week with Grandma and Grandpa at the beach Florida (a first for Blake and me). Then we dropped off O and B at Nana and Papa’s and Daddy, Mommy, and I hung out in Charleston for a few days before heading up to spend time with their college buds in NC. We also went down to Georgia at Thanksgiving. Every time we leave this place, we go there. They say they miss their family, Zaxby’s, sweet tea and bean and corn casserole. Weird, huh?

Owen’s 4 now and goes to school 4 days a week. He’ll be going to Kindergarten in the Fall. Mommy fills up our social calendar with this mom’s group she started. We think it was a rebound from camp, but it works well for all of us. Blake’s definitely in the terrible two’s. He’s clingy and whiny, but Mommy says he’s just too adorable to sell on the black market. Daddy’s trying to get him to go potty, so he doesn’t have to change his diaper anymore. Since B got his stubbornness from Daddy, you can imagine how well that’s going.

Mommy dove into the world of politics (also a rebound from camp), but really enjoys it. I think it helps her keep an identity outside of mommyhood. Now she is the Communications Director for a local county council campaign. She also manages 4 blogs, which is no small feat, but given how much she loves to write, it’s a good fit. Daddy keeps himself busy with projects around the house. He single handedly chopped up firewood from a 100 foot tree they took down in our back yard. After Christmas, he’ll be working with Papa on a play set in the backyard (thanks Nana & Papa). He’s been out kayaking a few times as well. He can’t wait to take O and B, and someday me too. He tried to get them out once or twice, but they never really got off the shore. I’m thinking I’m going to have to show those boys a thing or two as soon as I’m big enough to fit in a life jacket and hold onto a paddle.

That’s about it, 2009 in a nutshell. From our crazy family to yours, we hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and a super cool New Year.

New Year's Plans?

2009-12-22T21:24:00.001-05:00

Originally, our plans were to hang out here at home, and anyone who'd like to join us, can come and attempt to make it to midnight with us. However, my mother-in-law just offered to stay a day or so extra and watch the kids so we can go out. Question now is, where would we go? It's too late to get tickets anywhere, plus, it probably wouldn't be any fun unless we knew people. We've never been big on New Year's. We're not big party-ers, and we certainly don't do well is large crowds so going downtown is out of the question. So, here's the question, what should Neil and I do for New Year's Eve? Should we stick to the original plan or change it up and venture out?

Please post ideas in the comments below.

Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

2009-12-18T15:27:00.000-05:00

It's official. The weather lady says it's going to snow and it's going to be a big event. Yada, yada, yada! What excited me was what she said at the end of her segment. Listen closely and pay attention to a very special date. I might just be looking at my first ever White Christmas. I know it's selfish, but I'm totally praying for it. I've never woken up in my own house with snow on the ground, and I'm super excited about the possibility...even if it's only a 40% chance at this point.

I'll keep you guys posted! Oh and for the record: Since the Pennington's have moved to Maryland, we have never had a snow event as big as the one they are predicting for tomorrow. This may turn out to be the wildest winter ever (at least for those of us born and raised in the South).

Also, good to note, that the first snow fall of the season, for the last 6 years, has been on December 5th. Guess when we moved to Maryland? Yep, 6 years ago! Hhmmmm, coincidence? I think not!

The Conclusion to the Dilemma

2009-12-18T15:21:00.000-05:00

Thank you all for your advice. It's hard to be in a pickle and immediately know what to do. So, here's what I ended up doing. That very day when I posted my blog, I found a fantastic deal at JCPenny.com. In their Wednesday deals, I found a well-rated play kitchen for $23 shipped. Literally, I pounced on it. The way I see it, if they like it, then maybe it was the best (and least expensive) choice. If they don't, I can sell it (or donate it to my new church, as suggested by friend, Katy) for about what I paid for it. Seemed like a good solution to me. What do you think?

Debating??? Need HELP!

2009-12-16T14:33:00.000-05:00

It's my fault really. I wanted the kids to have a Play Kitchen, and I planted the seed in Owen's head. Now, when you ask him what he wants for Christmas, he says, without hesitation, "PLAY KITCHEN." I started the hunt a few weeks ago, found a great deal at Walmart. Bing was offering 20% cashback, the kitchen was on sale for $149, and shipped free to store; plus, I had $60 in giftcards given to the kids from their Aunt Heidi. When I went to show Neil, he, of course, hesitated. By the time I got him to agree to allow his boys to have a kitchen, the darn thing was out of stock, Bing cashback was back to 5%, and I still have the gift cards.

After a little research, I found that the manufacturer of said kitchen is out of stock, meaning, no one has it in stock, and won't until the end of January. So here's my dilemma, do I settle for something else so Owen has something at Christmas? Or do I wait until the end of January to buy the one I liked?

See, I really wanted a wooden one. Both Little Tikes & KidKraft make cute ones that aren't too girly (AKA pink). Both are out of stock. Ikea also makes one though it is simple and lacks adequate storage. But it would work as well and is about the same price. Of course I can't use the Walmart gift cards there, but I could always use them for something else and still let the kids know that the Kitchen is from their Aunts, one who gave them cash and the other who gave the gift cards.

I'm open to suggestions, because I really don't know what to do. Will it even matter in the end? They'll have plenty to open up on Christmas. They might even forget about the kitchen all together. Okay, that will never happen, but maybe I could take a picture of it and tell them that it will be here soon. ARGH, this is so frustrating. Normally I could care less, but this one I have to take full responsibility for. I started it and therefore, should finish it, right?

Madison the Ape

2009-12-14T21:25:00.000-05:00

You guys have to see this. I was dying laughing. So last night, we're at church, and in all the hub-bub of getting ready for the Chili-Cook-Off, I just totally spaced on the diaper bag. Of course, Madison decides to pee out of her diaper and all over her pants. And since I had no extras, we just let her go pantsless. Madison, the trendsetter. Apparently, Grace has some pretty rough carpet, because this is how my daughter had to crawl due to the rug burn on her knees. Why she didn't just decide to get up and walk is beyond me. Enjoy!

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas

2009-12-14T17:23:00.000-05:00

This is my absolute favorite season. Honestly, if I could just keep my house looking the way it does right now, with the decorated trees (5 in all), bright shades of red and green, adorable stuffed animals adding flare through out. Yes, if only I could leave it just like this all year long, and not be accused of cat-lady syndrome or red-neck dysfunction, I'd totally do it. In a heartbeat, I'd do it. It's just so farm and fuzzy, welcoming and festive, from the music to the candles and the lights. Even as I type this, I'm sitting in my living room lit only by the lights from the Christmas tree.

However, it begs the question, why can't the sentiment of Christmas last all year long. How hard would it be to keep a tote or two of special "seasonal" decorations to interchange from time to time? What about a playlist on my iPod that changes every couple of months, filled with songs that capture the mood of whatever season it happens to be. And of course, I could change the lighting options within each room to adjust for the changes in the length of the day. I could do all of these things, but it just sounds like so much work, especially after I just spent a week transforming my house into the winter wonderland it is today. Maybe that's why I only do it once a year.

Of course, in all this, I don't forget the "reason for the season," which does in fact amuse me that Christians make such a huge deal about the commercialism of it all. But shouldn't my walk with the Christ be daily, not seasonal? And didn't Christmas in fact find it's roots in a pagan holiday celebrating the winter solstice? In fact, I hear Jesus wasn't even born in December. Granted, it's a great time to remember the mere fact that God did come to Earth in the form on a baby. God! The Creator of the vast universe came here, humbling himself to the point of humanity, in order that I might have a relationship with him. I get that. Don't get me wrong. I just love all the rest of it too. The Christmas cards, the shopping (especially the deals), the trees wrapped all pretty under the tree, the parties, the family & friends. I love it all.

The kids are having a blast, enjoying the festivities throughout the city. We've been visiting train gardens, making cookies with friends, watching a light show at the National Harbor (where they have a Peeps Store), crafting Christmas cards for Owen's classmates, taking pictures, and decorating the house (of course). I even got all three of them to sit with Santa. Owen's never even gotten close to the man. Now that he thinks Santa brings him presents, he's all over him. I guess the promise of a present, a play kitchen in fact, is enticement enough. Though Madison continues to look on with caution, she too is quite taken with the jolly ole' fellow.

This week, we're gearing up for a Wrapping Party (come if you'd like), Owen's School Party, and our Bible Study party. I just love parties! I get to give out lots of gifts as well.

Before I go, I have to tell you about our Christmas Eve plans. So Fusion, our new/old church, traditionally does an 11 pm service and since that will be our last night at Grace, they thought it best to stick with the original plan. For some of us, as you can imagine, 11 pm doesn't work so well. I'm hoping, at least, that all three of my kiddos will be in bed. So a few of us families decided to do our own thing and it caught on. So Christmas Eve, we'll be gathering at our house at 5 pm to sing a few Christmas Carols, read the Christmas Story, and just worship together. It will be very family friendly, kids are welcome. If you don't have anywhere else to go, come hang with us.

A Couch Hangover

2009-12-02T07:48:00.000-05:00

I admit it. I had a little too much couch last night, and now I am paying the price. Cranky, tired, and all kinked up. Well, let's just say it's not how I envisioned starting off this day. Actually I didn't exactly envision a slumber party on the couch either, but some things can not be avoided.

So no, I didn't get in a fight with my husband sending me to my tortuous demise. Believe it or not, I got kicked out of my bed by none other than my middle son. I know, I know, Everybody knows how much I hate having kids in my bed, but this was a special circumstance. See, I decided to stay up a little later than normal (which is sadly becoming the norm) to catch up on a couple of my shows. I'm pretty sure the coffee I had around 4:00 in the afternoon was the culprit of that poor decision. Anyways, around 11:30, Blake starting crying, only it sounded a bit off. It didn't take me long to figure out that this was going to be a rough night. As I reached down to tuck him in and calm him down, I immediately noticed the heat radiating from his head. Yep, it was going to be one of those nights. About the time I got him calmed down and back to sleep, I heard Madison stirring. "Ah, she'll go back to sleep," I thought. And I made my way downstairs to turn off the lights and then head to bed. Guess what? She didn't quiet down and Blake was back to crying as well. I managed to get them both calmed down and was making my way to the stairs when Blake started up again. I'm at that point where all I want to do is close my eyes, and it was beginning to look like there would be no rest for the weary. But that's my job, right?

At this point, Blake had a pretty rough fever, and Madison was on the stir again. So I did the only thing I could do at the time. I picked him up and took him to Daddy in bed before heading back to deal with Madison. By 1:30, there was silence in the house, minus the various levels of snoring coming from my three little bears. Finally, I could get some sleep. I head up stairs, throw on my sweats and start to climb in bed. But there's a Blake sleeping soundly on my pillow.

So, do you see now how I ended up cranky, tired, and all kinked up? It's what I'm calling a couch hangover. It should be a really fun day. Just so you know, Blake woke up this morning with no fever, but we'll stay quarantined just in case.

Wow, you'd think I would have written about the myriad of other things that I have happened since I last blogged, but that's what's on my mind. Fair enough!

Living in the Rut

2009-11-15T23:18:00.000-05:00

Still no mentor, but then again, sitting around hoping one will show up on my doorstep is probably not the best strategy. What else is going on? I think this is problem, why my personal blog falls to the wayside. I spend so much of my time pouring myself into my other blogs, whether it's regarding politics or mommyhood. I manage four blogs and one website, on top of organizing meetups for More than Moms, attending events for Team Whisler, and oh yeah, being a mom to three wonderful children. Let's not forget the most important things, being a wife and a child of God. Most of the time, I feel like a complete failure in all of these areas. I'm sure it's just the enemy attacking my self-worth. Lucky for him, he certainly knows where my buttons are and wastes no time going for the jugular. I find myself getting in these ruts from time to time, where I turn myself inward and allow laziness and procrastination to overcome me. Guess where I've been the last couple of weeks? Yep, in said rut. I have recognized a correlation between my spiritual life and these dips in my psyche. It's almost as if I've gone into hiding. Does that sound silly? Who am I hiding from? My family? My husband? My responsibilities? God himself? I have no idea, but my best guess would be my Heavenly Father. Why though? Why would I run away from someone who knows me and still loves me without condition? Don't look at me. If I had the answer, I wouldn't be working it through it with you.

I have been proud of one area though. Lately, my house is cleaned everyday. If you know me, then you know how hard this is for me. It's the one area of my life that is completely defeating. I clean one area, move on to the next, then come back and find the first area a mess again. But in the last couple of weeks, I've managed to make sure the house is neat and clean by the time Neil gets home. Granted, it might be 5 minutes before he walks in the door, but the point is that it's done, and it makes me a better wife (and by extension, mom).

If you think about it, pray that I can get back in the grove of things, especially in my relationship with God. I don't like being ineffective and unproductive. I could use the support. Hope my next post comes sooner than two weeks. That's just ridiculous, right?

All Hallow's Eve

2009-11-02T15:23:00.000-05:00

Whew, what a busy day, but such super fun as well. It started off with the Fusion Fall Potluck at Patapsco Valley State Park. We rented a pavilion, set up several activities for kids and adults, brought various dishes to share, and had an all around great time. I'm pretty sure we may have just started a tradition. Whether it will be a once a year affair or every other month, I'm definitely seeing potlucks as a part of our growing community. With little to no budget, smorgasbord dining is the way to go.

We borrowed the small moon bounce from Grace which the kids loved even more than the brand new playground beckoning in the background. But the most fun of all, both for the kids and the parents, was the hay pile hide & seek, where we scattered tons of candy throughout a pile of hay. On your mark, get set, go...and they were off, sifting through the hay to find whatever pieces of candy they could. Given the amount of kids there versus the amount of candy, they all walked away with more than generous amounts of sweet yumminess. They didn't even need to trick or treat, but of course, since Owen had been talking about it all week, we had to go.

Our neighborhood association decided to host a Safe & Spooktacular Halloween event. We set up two tents on two corners in the neighborhood, decorated them with spooky lights and decor, added some music, cider, cookies, treat bags, and some beer & wine. Voila, we had ourselves "the gathering place." Neil and I took turns manning the booth while the better half took the boys trick or treating. We actually met lots of our neighbors, even discovered that one had already had her baby (like two weeks ago, good one, Hillary). One neighbor with a 9 week old little boy joined More than Moms and even came to Stroller Brigade with us this morning. Two events, two successes. Of course, by the end of the night, both Neil and I were 100% exhausted. I was glad for the extra hour of sleep, at least in theory, since my kids woke up an hour early (or on time by their internal clocks). Yep, I still hate daylight savings.

All in all, I'd say it was a pretty stinking fantabulous Halloween, for both us and the kids. Owen decided to be Spiderman...for like an entire week. He literally wore the costume out. In fact, come Sunday morning, it found itself to the trashcan. Really, it crawled across the floor and climbed into the can all by itself. Blake was a snake, not because he decided to be one, but because I found it at a yard sale for like $2. It was funny, because his tail would drag along the ground behind him, and given the wet circumstances of the evening, it was nasty by the end, to say the least. Madison made for the cutest cow ever. At first I thought she'd be a fairy since I found these cutsy mini-wings, but considering she spends most of her time on her back, I wasn't sure how to pull that off. The cow costume was already in my arsenal and just happened to fit her, so "moo" it was. Totally meant to stop by CFA for our free chicken of the day, but time just got away from us.

Sometimes It Pays To Be Early

2009-11-01T15:43:00.000-05:00

...And to have an Old Navy card for that point. Here's the deal, literally speaking. Old Navy does this thing called Stuff & Save for it's card members. Normally, you save 20% off anything you can stuff into a bag. Lately, they've even been giving you a free reuseable bag (how ecofriendly of them). Well, this time, my stuff & save invite comes in the mail, only this time it's for 30% off. I marked the date on my calendar that it started and put the card in my wallet. I really didn't read much else or think anything about it. My iPod alerted my Thursday night that the sale started the next day. After browsing over my schedule for the day, I decided the best time to go would be before Owen's class Halloween party, basically right as it opened.

As I walked in the store with 3 kids, I noticed a woman standing there waiting to greet me. "Hhmm, that's odd," I thought, "I guess they're upping they're customer service tactics." The the lady speaks, "Do you have an Old Navy card?"

"Yep, sure do," I replied, "I'm here to use my Stuff & Save."

"Well, you're #46. Here's your free bag & 50% off coupon."

50% off? I felt like I just won the lottery. Come the think of it, I vaguely remember reading that a certain number of people would get a higher percentage rate, but since I'm rarely able to to get any where when I want to, I just ignored it. Turns out, trying to squeeze in a "quick" run to Old Navy with three kids was the best decision I made that day. It sort of went down hill from there.

From that point, I felt like I was on Super Market Sweep. I'm grabbing here and snatching there, shoving anything that would fit any of the 5 human beings in my house into the bag and moving on. Then I saw it. The sign said, "Extra 50% off all clearance." Oh man, I had just walked into an oasis of good deals, plus I got to add my 50% off coupon to it. Mostly I bought for the kids, $.50 shirts here, $.27 flip flops there. It was seriously a paradise. It didn't even bother me that my 4 year old was running around wreaking havoc through out the store.

All in all, I got over $500 worth of clothes & accessories for $100. Not too shabby, huh? Lesson learned, always be early! Now if only I could convince my kids of this.

Job Description: Mentor

2009-10-29T15:36:00.000-04:00

During my quiet time this morning, it dawned on me that I might be in need of a mentor. Way back in the day, when I was young and living in Georgia, I prayed for three years for a mentor. It wasn't until right before we moved that I realized I already had one in my boss and friend, Tammy. She taught me about being a woman of God in the real world, especially considering I was fresh out of college when I met her. It was the first time in my spiritual life that I wasn't living in a bubble. College was great, people constantly asking me about my relationship with God, evangelism being a central part of my daily life, and of course, having all the time in the world to pursue my passions. Real life wasn't so generous, even working for a church, and this was before I had kids.

Fast forward 6 years or so. Now I have three kids, and three brand new ministries, new church plant, political campaign, and a mom's group. Managing the laundry, keeping the kids clean and fed, and somehow managing to maintain a relationship with my husband are hard enough, but finding balance in all the other areas of my life is presenting quite the dilemma. So I'm thinking it's time for a mentor, but where would I find one of those. Perhaps there is someone already in my life willing to step into role, or maybe I need someone new, someone who might not be connected to everything else. I don't have the answer, but this morning, I started praying for someone who is spritually more mature and ready to take me on.

Of course, it's not only the new stuff that I feel I need a little help with, it's the baggage as well. I realize I haven't found full closure with the camp thing yet either. Lately, I've been avoiding God, not intentionally, but it's certainly an issue. It's like I want to spend time with him, but something is causing me to look the other way. Even though I know that it was time to move on and can easily see the bigger picture (He certainly made it clear enough), I'm still struggling with the emotion of it all. I'm having a hard time letting go, and I know that there are still some difficult conversations yet to come. Why is it harder to avoid issues sometimes then face them head on? It's easier to bury myself in all things new instead of processing the pain, but without fully walking through the valley, I'll never reach the other side, right? So I've decided to walk down this road. I just don't want to do it alone. Shocking, right?

If you know of anyone up for the job, willing to take on a stubborn, highly independent basket of mush, such as myself, just let me know. In the meantime, I covet your prayers.

O's First School Field Trip

2009-10-23T22:22:00.000-04:00

Beside the fact that I left the stroller at home and had to report to carrying Madison around all morning, I'd say Owen's first field trip was a raging success. We all met up at Clark's Ellioak Farm for a day of animals, mazes, hay rides, and pumpkins.

Blake was in a snit most of the morning, but Owen seemed to heartily enjoy himself, bouncing from animal to animal, engaging with his friends, and deciding every pumpkin in the patch was his absolute favorite. Madison enjoyed being passed from person to person. Sometimes she reminds me so much of Owen as a baby, so I guess I know what to look forward to.

We started out at the petting zoo. Man, have you been to this place? The goats pratically snap the food out of your hand. They're like my kids at dinner time, like they've never been fed before. We also saw sheep, who apparently don't like carrots, a miniature cow, pigs, donkeys, an emu, chickens, horses, and probably some more that I can't remember.

After the over eager animals, we loaded up on the tractor trailor and away we went on our hay ride, which was lacking hay, but whatever. Regardless, Owen had a blast, sitting up at the front with his classmates, completely ignoring his mom. I'm guessing it's a glimpse of what is to come.

The hayless tractor dropped us off at the "pumpkin patch," which was really quite a dissappointment. Basically they had dropped a truckload of small pumpkins onto a field. Larriland is a far better farm, just saying. Blake & Owen spent about 2 seconds picking out a pumpkin and then the next five exchanging it one after another. Finally, with Mommy's help, they narrowed it down. While I went to put the pumpkins in the car and change Madison's very wet diaper, the boys joined the rest of the class in the Pine Tree Maze. By the time I got back, there was no finding them in that thing, so I hung out with a couple other moms at the entrance.

From there we crawled into the car and headed off to BJs. Yes, it was lunch time, and yes, I must have been delusional to think that this was in any a way a good idea. I figured I throw the boys in one of those car carts, get them a hot dog and some chips and they'd be good while I picked up some household necessities with my free 60 day membership. The plan did work...for about 15 minutes. Of course they decided to break down about two aisles from the checkout lane. I felt so close to becoming the "walmart mom", it wasn't even funny. Seriously! But we made it out alive, got home, and stuck the kids in front of the TV while I unloaded the car. Why are you judging me? Like you've never done that.

All in all, it was a good day. I can't believe my boy is old enough to even go on his first field trip. I feel a song coming on..."memories, memories."

The Case of the Missing Ipod Touch...Solved

2009-10-20T21:35:00.001-04:00

Thankfully, I am writing this in an utterly blissful state. I have a clean house, spic and span literally, and my Ipod in my hand (well laying beside me actually), but just 20 minutes ago, I was convinced it was gone forever.

Every morning at the Pennington house is a downward spiral into chaos (hence the name of the blog), and yesterday was no different; rushing around attempting to get all three kids ready, bags packed, lunches made, and myself put together enough to make it to the gym. I thought, as I climbed into the van coffee in hand, that everything and everyone was along for the ride as well, including my brand new Ipod Touch (early Christmas present from my hubby). Turns out when I reached into my coat pocket to pull out my Ipod, it wasn't there. Oh well, I must have just left it at home. Of course, as per usual, I fill my morning schedule will all sorts of stuff, and don't return until after lunch. I get the kids down for a nap and go in seach for my missing item. Time passes and I begin to realize this may not be as simple as I thought. All the "usual suspects" seem to be Ipod-less. Before I totally freak out, I decide to check with the boys. However, it's a new toy, and they simply stare blankly at me. I tried, "have you seen mommy's little computer?" Blake pipes up, "upstairs." So I follow him up to my room where he kindly points our the regular computer. Duh, Hillary. Time was running out, and I had to get ready for my first EVER campaign kick-off for Steve Whisler. I had decided that Tuesday would consist of a top to bottom search of the house. Dang it, I was determined to find it.

The event was awesome, by the way, but I'll post that to the PVRC blog later. This post is about my beloved iPod. I know it's retarded, but it's amazing how quickly it became an essential part of my life. Anyways, this morning, I sprang up out of bed, made my coffee (keeping an ever watchful eye out for the missing object), had my quiet time, where I'm sad to say I actually prayed for God to help me find it, and got to work. Literally, I worked from 8 am until Neil got home looking in every crack and crevice along the way. Good news is that I also cleaned as I went. I thought this would go over better with the hubby. By the time Neil got home, I'd cleaned every room in the house and had managed to find some missing jewelry, an old checkbook, a lost croc of Blake's, and several random pieces to games we thought were lost causes...but no iPod. This was not exactly the news I wanted to give Neil, but sadly it's all I could do. Luckily for me, he was more focused on the cleanliness than the think, shiny, expensive piece of equipment that seemed to have vanished into thin air.

When we got home from Chick-fil-A, Neil joined the search. We even missed watching NCIS. He was combing the bedroom and I was down in the basement canvasing Mat's old room, the guest bedroom, and once again, the laundry room (praying I didn't somehow wash it). About 9 pm, Neil comes downstairs and says he's giving up. Yeah, I'd basically given up myself. I grabbed my computer and headed up the stairs to blog about my sad, missing iPod Touch. As I approached the top of the stairs, I saw it, sitting there on the kitchen table, glaring up at me. To myself I thought, "Please don't tell me that was sitting there the entire time."

"You FOUND IT?!?! Where was it," as I rushed back down the stairs and through my arms around my mystery solving, dignity saving husband. "Please don't say you found it somewhere stupid!"

"I found it somewhere stupid," said Neil.

"Where? Come on, tell me!"

"I don't know, I kind of like this whole missing iPod thing. I come home to a spotless house."

"Seriously, where did you find it?"

"In my coat pocket hanging in the closet."

WHAT? How in the world did it end up there? I haven't worn it recently. The only thing we could gather is that Blake was playing with it, as Owen's story goes, and he must have put it the pocket before I hung it up this afternoon. Weird. Why didn't I think to check there when I was cleaning? Either way, it's found and I am absolutely exstatic.

Time now to go write up a post about the Whisler Campaign Kick-Off. I can't believe I literally blew off everything, my blogs, twitter, phone calls, email, tv shows...everything, just to find an iPod. I think I might have a codependency habit.

Couldn't Resist: Thought Of My Dad

2009-10-19T13:50:00.002-04:00

From a friend of my dads, William, who is fighting cancer and is ademantly opposed to Obamacare. Just so you know, if my dad were still around, he’d be ademantly opposed as well. I honestly could not imagine what his last weeks/days would have been under this plan. Would some panel of government paid hack doctors have told my stepmom and I to just say goodbye and been done with it? His battle would have looked much different and ended much earlier if the government was in charge of his care. It’s our duty to not only protect ourselves, but to protect our parents and grandparents from being told when and how they should die. My dad, David Foster, died with dignity, surrounded by people who loved him and supported him. His life, his battle continues today in the war on cancer. People still read his blog entries, and in them, they find hope, encouragement, and even humor that inspires them to keep fighting.

Now it’s our turn to fight. The Democrats are preparing a nuclear option that will literally stampede right over our opinions and desires. We need to let them know that the consequence of this action will be the end of their reign of power. Though I would love for that to happen, the end of the reign, not the nuclear option, I’m not willing to stake my kid’s and grandparents quality of life on it. Are you?

At The Center of It All

2009-10-12T07:38:00.000-04:00

A little over a month ago, I was still sitting on the fence debating whether or not to dibble dabble in local politics. Now, not only do I regularly and solely (for now) update the PVRC blog, I am also the Communications Director for the Whisler for County Council campaign. I know, right? Crazy! Some people say that Christian's shouldn't be involved in politics, and to be honest, I think this is what kept me on the fence for so long. Well that and the fact that 98% of my time was taken up by my roles as mom and camp director. It's still weird to me how quickly it all changed, almost as if the hole left by camp was immediately in by other things, mostly More than Moms and politics. And I can't take credit for any of it, which is a good thing. It was too fast and too specific to be any of my doing. The last time I remember the tiles falling into place like this was when I started camp. God has made it clear that he is all up in the stuff in my life. Actually, I can barely keep up.

It hasn't been an easy road though. When life is on fast forward, it takes me a while to figure out a schedule, a routine that fits our life. And without structure, life is more like spaghetti junction (shout out to Atlanta) then a well oiled machine. It's taken me time to figure out how to juggle these different roles. There are so many of them. My time with God has been sporatic at best, not because I don't want to, but more because I'm still figuring this all out. This morning, I drug my butt out of bed at 6:00 am, got a shower, made my coffee, and spent time in the Word. It felt so good, so refreshing. I realized that in these new endeavors, time with God is a crucial necessity. Satan wants me to be distracted, caught up in all the newness and excitement that I forget the why behind it all. To that I say, "Get thee behind me Satan," at least for today. Tomorrow will bring with it a whole new set of struggles. Heck, ten minutes from now will bring a whole new set of struggles. But at least for now, my mind is centered on the prize, focused on the goal, on Him who has given me life, purpose, and direction. "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 27:4

If you think about it, ask me if each day if I spent time with God. Man, I miss those days back at Georgia College when I could run into a friend in SAGA (the Cafeteria) and they would ask about my quiet time. What accountability! And if you happen to be praying and you think of me, could you pray for the different hats I wear, as a wife, a mom, a mom's group organizer, a communications director, a church planter, and a community association VP? Just pray that at the center of all of that stands the One who created it all.

Team Building and Brainstorming

2009-10-10T23:10:00.000-04:00

Thanks to my fantabulous husband, I was able to join most of our children's ministry team (missed you Betsy) at a small conference, put on by Group Publishing, in Nothern VA this weekend (sorry Aunt Marsha, I didn't have my car so I couldn't visit). It was sad to leave Neil and the boys behind (okay, not so much), but I had to forge ahead and figure out this thing called children's ministry.

You might think that camp ministry is quite similar to children's and to some extent it is, but my role it in all is completely different. At camp, we get to put the cheesiness aside and focus on the fun in life, knowing that Christ will shine through it. Camp is more of an outreach ministry, where CM is primarily focused on believers. But as a consultant, I'm enjoying the idea of not being required to have all the answers, to lead the vision, or even to make any decisions. How great is it that my purpose is to give advice? I'm so good at that, whether people want it or not. However, it doesn't stop there. Amy, Clare, and Katy happen to be my some of my closest friends, and this ministry, overall, happens to directly affect my three beautiful children. So, yeah, I have a little more invested, and I have to be careful how I give the advice considering I'd like to keep my frienships in the end.

The conference was profitable, a good value for the buck. Of course, the most important take-away for me, for a deeper bond in the team. I'm starting to see that we're moving beyond friendship, into the arena of healthy working relationships. Plus, we found a children's Bible that didn't skew the word of God. Score! And we made a final decision on interim curriculum, which is huge. Not only did we make a decision, but we each understood the why behind the decision. All in all, we were on the same page. How often can you say that about any new found team.

Wouldn't you know, though, that I didn't take a single picture? I'm really getting frustrated with myself. I take my camera everywhere and rarely snap a shot. Seriously!

Much will come of this time together, I just know it. We have our normal team meeting this coming Tuesday, so you guys can pray for innovative ideas and solid decisions moving forward.

Wow, I really do have a lot going on lately. Between More than Moms, the Whisler Campaign (did I tell you guys that I'm going to be doing communications for the entire campaign? well, I'll wait till it's official and then I'll post something), Fusion Church Plant, and the neighborhood association (or and did I mention that I'm also a mom of three kids), I feel absolutely stretched in every which way and, at the same time, completely invigorated. Sometimes I feel like I'm playing a game of "connect the dots." I'm not sure what God is doing, but somehow, it's all connected. Neil said to me the other night, "I can't wait to see where you'll be in 20 years." I'm excited to look back and go, "Oh, that's what God was doing." Glad you guys are along for the ride...totally wished I had pics from the conference.

Just Another Day

2009-10-06T17:29:00.000-04:00

There's nothing really special about today, at least not particularly, but I'm just sitting her watching my kids, thinking "I should blog about this." So I pulled out my phone and went to work.

You see, Owen doesn't take naps anymore, but he does have a "rest time" in his room. When he emerges at 4 pm, I'm never quite sure what he'll look like. Today, he found a black marker and some snow boots, the combination of which sent me into flat out giggle. Side note: It doesn't matter where I hide markers, they always seem to find them. It's absolutely amazing.

Honestly, when he came down the stairs, I thought he was wearing pants.

This is just a better picture, but Owen certainly looks guilty of something.

While Owen's off exploring his artistic abilities, Blake is entering the world of potty training. Yep, I'm officially losing it. Good news, I'm one day closer to only having one in diapers. Bad news, I'm about to be peed on A LOT. Want to know what's even better? Blake has also entered the land of disobedience and defiance. I'm not sure if this it the best time to convince him that what I want him to do is really the best thing. For instance, I just had to go fish him out of the laundry room (literally while typing this). We played a game of cat & mouse until I finally caught him, and promptly punished his failure to respond. Come to find out, he'd also peed in his underwear. Oh yeah, we've started putting him in underwear to allow him to get the feel of them. Potty training is so defeating.

You can't see, but he's wearing underwear. The novelty isn't lost on him. He is a boy.

Madison? What's Madison up to? She's trying desperately to crawl, but get frustrated when she keeps moving backwards. But it doesn't stop her. If she wants something, she'll get it. It might take her a while, but eventually she'll roll around enough to get there.

2009-10-06T08:03:00.003-04:00

I know I do all my political blogging elsewhere but this is simply hilarous. I had to post it.

Now, I hope this works. Blogger doesn't make it easy to embed video. We'll see!

Say Cheese

2009-10-05T16:30:00.001-04:00

It's a struggle getting out of the house with three kids anytime, but when you're actually trying to get somewhere...good luck. Thankfully, my MIL was there to help. I'm not sure I would have attempted this on my own.

A few weeks back, I found a coupon for a free portrait package at The Picture People and it just happened to expire on the 4th. Since Owen's started back to school, it's been a little difficult to find the time to get there. Well, there was this one time I carved out the entire day and ended up at Arundel Mills where they no longer have The Picture People. Regardless, I finally found the time. I guess I didn't realize the importance of an appointment. I tried to call a couple times, but it just rang, so I thought I'd just show up. They were, however, gracious enough to fit us in.

Wouldn't you know that the minute it was their turn to strike a pose, the boys suddenly decided to catch stage fright? Madison, on the other hand, loved the camera. She ate it up. After about twenty minutes and 30 different shots, we were done and off to wait for our results. Now I have to be honest, I bribed my kids. I bought a couple chocolate dipper at H Mart and dangled them behind the camera to coax out a smile. Shameless I know, but it was totally worth it.

Of course I had to snap a few pics of Owen and Blake enjoying their special treat. Though a few of the professional pictures turned out good, sometimes I think the candids are just all around better. But I got my free package and a couple sheets for the fam. I'm sure my MIL enjoyed the whole experience as well. All in all, I'd say it was a fun outing with lasting results (aka the pics).

Date with Mommy

2009-10-02T16:39:00.000-04:00

Owen is certainly a growing boy. It used to be that I would choose to take the baby with me if I had to run out somewhere quickly, but now, it’s actually easier to take Owen. He’s a big boy, doesn’t need a stroller and can get in and out of the car “all by himself.” Sometimes the independence stage can be like pulling teeth, but lately, it’s been quite freeing for me as well.

Yesterday, I picked up Owen from school and we went down to Columbia Mall to see my eye doctor. Where were the other kiddos you ask? Thanks to my fabulous Mother-in-law, I’ve basically had a free pass all week long. So they were at home with her. Thanks Cathy. I told O if he was a good boy and behaved at the doctor then I’d take him for a special treat. Little did he know that the treat also entailed a fun lunch with Mommy’s friend, a quick and painless haircut, and a new stuffed friend.

Of course behaving at a doctor’s office is completely relative. Given the attention span of a 4 year old and the amount of time we had to wait, I give major props to him for not breaking anything. In all actuality, he did pretty well, mostly staying seated and almost not touching anything. Seriously, I can’t even keep Neil was playing with things in a doctor’s office. Once I got the all clear (from a previous viral infection in my eye), I grabbed my contacts and we were off to meet Anne for a late lunch. Okay, Owen got an apple pie and a diet coke. I know, worst mom ever, letting my kid drink soda, but it’s only on “special” occasions. I, on the other hand, was just as bad eating a Gyro wrap with fries and a sweet tea.

Then we went over to Master Cuts to see about getting Owen’s unruly hair cut. At first I was thinking I’d have to take him to Cartoon Cuts where they specialize in children and charge a fortune to do so. But I thought I’d try the cheaper option (by 50%) first and see what happened. The ladies there were great, and Owen did a stupendous job. Highly recommend the cheaper option. Bonus: I could see his face again, and what a cute face it is. Of course I did have to bribe him with Build-A-Bear. I know, I’m scoring big of the parenting factor, aren’t I?

Actually I had a coupon for Build-A-Bear, $5 off $10, which if you get the cheapest bear and no accessories, it only costs you about $5 for the whole experience and a new best friend. I did give Owen a choice of a bear, puppy, or bunny. “I already have a bear and a bunny, I want a puppy.” No problem. Now, O has a stuffed Koala at home named Charlie. We got him sometime last year with a similar deal. It’s amazing how much more they understand in such a short amount of time. Charlie wasn’t nearly as fun to make as the new puppy, only this time, Owen was more keenly aware of the millions of overpriced accessories available. I broke down and let him get a soccer outfit. More points lost.

When it came time to name his pup, he kept spelling out non-words. “L-W-E-N,” Owen said. “That’s not a name, or even a word. What name would you like you’re puppy to have?” “A-E-O.” “Still not a word, Owen. Try again.” This went on for a few minutes until finally Owen actually spelled a word that was also a name, “L-E-O.” And Leo was his name-o. It was fun because now he knows how to spell another name, other than his own. He even read it on the birth certificate. This time I get points. What a great experience for him, an apple pie, a haircut, and a new friend.

Lesson learned? I could totally go for the whole live-in nanny thing. Seriously! This week has been amazing. I’ve been blessed with individual, non-stressful time with each of my children. It’s amazing how my patience levels rise when I’m not completely surrounded by children all day long…and when I don’t have to change as many diapers.

Clare Got Married!

2009-09-29T16:30:00.000-04:00

I was waiting until I could find a pic of Clare and myself before I posted to my blog, but there isn't one yet. That's what I get for not taking my camera. The point is that Clare and Mat got married, Mat moved out, and all I got was a huge bruise on my foot. Just kidding, I also got some good booze too. Okay, okay and the opportunity to be part of something so amazing only God himself could pull it off. Seriously.

I vividly remember chatting with Clare on the way back from Georgia (if you read my blog, you know what trip I am referring too, end of April 08). She was telling me about this guy she'd met online. Now I've always been quite skeptical on the online dating thing, but in this case, I'll let it pass. Mat is such a great guy, and absolutely 100% in love with one of my best friends.

Last August, Mat moved in with us and became a part of our family. It's been weird not having him trample up and down the stairs the last couple of days. Clare, of course, was already part of the family. My kids call her Aunt Clare, even though it's against my husband's will.

The wedding itself was beautiful, in all that it symbolized as well. Of course about 5 seconds after I arrived, I stepped on a stilleto heel and severely bruised my foot...nothing a liitle ice, ibuprofen, and booze couldn't solve. Actually wearing heels made it easier considering the bruise was in the arch of my foot.

Mat didn't cry, but it didn't matter. I still couldn't hold back. Thankfully, TJ broke the sappiness by tweeting a picture of the nuptuals from her unique perspective. Really, it wouldn't be a Mat & Clare wedding without twitter. But still, when Mat said his vows, not only to Clare, but to Reese too, I lost it...completely humbled by the display of grace at that altar. God was moving in that place.(And Mat & Clare were moving in different ways a little later).

All in all, despite the mishap with my foot, it was a fantastic event. I knew you all would like the pic. As soon as I get a pic of the bride and myself, I'll post it here.

A Much Needed Date

2009-09-23T22:40:00.001-04:00

Yes, I went on a date tonight, with a charming man. Of course he happens to be my husband, but everyone needs to date, especially after marriage. I think it's so easy to forget that. We get busy, especially with three kids pulling us in every which direction, and when we finally remember, we have to nail down a babysitter, come up with a plan, and spend the afternoon prepping the kids and the house to be gone. And I wonder why we don't get out much.

But tonight, thanks to our wonderful friends, Joyce and Tim, we were able to escape. And even if it was for just a couple of hours, it was worth it, refreshing, exciting. I was reminded of why I married this man, why I devote my heart to him, why I spent the last 4 years of my life multiplying out our lives by having 3 beautiful children. No matter how stressful and cluttered life gets, it's important to invest in the people around us, and for me, the most important relationship in my life (aside from my relationship with God) is my husband, Neil.

We spent our evening in Ellicott City, a quaint little town that sadly seems to shut down at like 5 pm. In fact, we found ourselves dining at the EC Brewing Company. Beer was good. Food was okay, probably not a great value over all, but the conversation made up for it (oh and the beer was good). Then we strolled up and down (literally) Frederick Ave window shopping (since the stores all close so stinkin' early...I said that already, didn't I?) Actually we were in search of a place to have dessert. Well, he wanted dessert, I wanted coffee. We ended up at a little cafe called Bean Hollow where he got this chocolately croissant thing (as close to Baklava as he could get) and I got Cafe Au Lait, which I forgot to order decaf. Yep, I'll pay for that later.

After dessert, we walked to the bridge, which crosses over the Patapsco River and talked about everything from life passions to parenthood to sex. Neil might not be a man of many words, but he does listen. And lately I feel like my life has been on fast forward, it was nice to slow down for a bit and process, to connect the dots a bit. One of the attributes that annoys me the most and yet draws me in all at the same time is Neil's wisdom. It might take him forever to make a decision, as opposed to my split second reactions, but when he makes it, I can trust that it will be the absolute best decision for that situation. Sometimes I get so focused on the annoying part, the waiting, that I forget to trust the process.

All in all, a good date, and one that was very much needed.

My Poor Atlanta, Home Wet Home

2009-09-21T23:28:00.000-04:00

I had no idea that the flooding was this bad in Atlanta, and especially out in the areas where I grew up. It's almost surreal to look at the picture above and think, "I've driven on that interstate a million times." I can't imagine it being underwater. And what about all those cars just sitting there at the edge of this lake. Did they just get out and walk home?

Honestly, I must be lost in some sort of alternate reality. Literally I had no idea it was even raining there. Heck, it's been beautiful here the last few days. I guess I should call my sister in the morning just to make sure things are okay on her end. From what I've seen, my family and friends are safe over there in Marietta, though I'm sure they're starting to question whether or not they should build an ark.

I'm praying for you guys. And I'm telling my Maryland peeps to life you up as well (Did y'all here that?)

I think tomorrow we might change our lesson a little and talk about Noah. Owen loves Noah. He wonders why we can't live on a boat. Maybe I should suggest to Neil that we move back to Atlanta and buy a house boat.

God, What are you doing?

2009-09-20T22:26:00.000-04:00

A few months ago, my pastor, TJ, told me to pray, "God, what are you doing?" As opposed to always asking why, this way I'm asking God to reveal His plan.

Sometimes I just have to sit back and watch. What else can I do? Right now, I feel like my life is on autopilot, or God-pilot. I'm not sure even how to explain it. If you had asked me two weeks ago if I would be where I am today, I would have thought you were crazy. Then again, you might actually be crazy, so there you go.

Regardless, it's crazy. Two weeks ago, or a little more than, I was a mom and a camp director. I had very little time left over for anything else, including play group, politics or neighborhood associations. When I "resigned" from camp, it was almost as if I was walking down a path in the woods and suddenly it opened up into a large, beautiful, open meadow, a clearing per say. The box shattered into a million pieces. Suddenly, I'm not sure what the future holds, but I'm absolutely positive that the Lord is all up in it.

First, there is More than Moms. Wow did that take off? I never realized there was such a need for an organized, community like group until I created it. There are some hungry moms out there, and I am one of them.

Then there is politics, something I've struggled with for a long time. Finally, I felt the freedom to throw in my hat (not that I actually wear one), and I've found the doors opening left and right. I'm able to write, which is super fun, for the local Republican blog. I'm planning events for candidates...okay, just one for now.

And now there is the neighborhood association. I know, I know. I said I would only do one, either politics or the association, but as long as it doesn't interfere in my priorities, why can't I do it all. Wait a second, Hillary, I thought you were frustrated with the board. I was, I am, but in a conversation with the seated president this afternoon, I found that I can actually have more of an impact on the neighborhood if I'm part of the board. Plus, it helps that Susan asked me to run for Vice President (not that it's a competitive election or anything). I talked it over with Neil and we decided it was a good idea. You know I'm always full of ideas and this way, I actually have a forum to voice some of those ideas (and even the power to implement some).

Still not sure what God is doing, but I have a strong feeling that all of these things are connected. One day I'll look back and go "ooooohhhh, now I get it." Until then, I'm simply going to enjoy the ride. It always makes me feel good to know that my God-given talents are being put to use. I guess one could say I like to be used.

Leaning to One Side

2009-09-18T16:05:00.000-04:00

I have to say I'm pretty stoked right now, and definitely leaning towards local politics versus the community association. Why? Well, I haven't met with our association president. I will do that on Sunday, but nothing invigorates me more (save my family and my faith) then being able to have a direct impact on the world around me. Two things I absolutely love to do; write and plan events (the programmer in me), and through the local Republican scene, I now get to do both.

I told you how I was asked to blog on the PVRC (Patapso Valley Republican Club) Blog. Since Monday, I've popped out 10 or so posts and am loving every second. Actually on Tuesday, we broke an all time site visit record. Yay! I'd like to think they're coming to read my stuff, but really, I chalk it up to mere activity. Regardless, I get to put my opinion out there as well as bring awareness to some issues going on in Catonville, Baltimore County, Maryland, and even on the national front. I could so do this whole blogging thing full time. Too bad people don't pay you for that.

Today, Steve Whisler, candidate for Baltimore County Council, asked me to help plan his "coming out" event. On October 19, he's going to officially announce his candidacy and I have the unique privilege of helping to plan the event. I'm so excited, I feel like I'm stumbling over my words. Can you see why I'm leaning in this direction?

I'm not sure that the Oak Crest Association can top it. I'm not sure what I can do there that will really make an impact. But we'll see what comes out of my meeting on Sunday. Maybe there is a way to stay involved with Oak Crest while turning my attention to More than Moms and local politics. I don't know, what do you think?

Buy Yourself a Big Tree

2009-09-18T15:32:00.001-04:00

Thank you Steve Whisler, Candidate for Baltimore County Council, District 1, and Michelle Mazzocco of Catonsville Voices for the heads up. Maybe now we can replace the huge oak taken down this summer. Don't worry, it was dead! See!

Overstock of Big Trees from the County's Reforestation Nursery will be for sale on Saturday, September 26 from 9:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. at Oregon Ridge Park, Lodge Area (while supplies last). Big Trees are familiar native shade trees, such as oaks, ash and pine. They need more room to grow and take longer to mature, but they provide greater and longer-lasting benefits to homeowners when properly sited. Big Trees add value to your property, provide shade, soak up excess rain water, and provide habitat for forest birds. Trees are 1" caliper, or 3-7' in height; clearance prices range from $20 -$35. Sale is sponsored by DEPRM. Read the attached Species List and flyer and bring your neighbors to the sale event!

Native Big Tree Species Descriptions and Habitat Requirements

Chestnut Oak

(Quercus Prinus) One of the most distinctive features of this beautiful oak is the vertical pattern of thick raised plates and deep furrows on the dark brown bark of the trunk, which becomes more prominent with age. The species, which can reach 80 to 90 ft. tall in the wild, thrives in dry, rocky soils, but also does quite well in ordinary garden soils with good drainage. This major forest tree is typically not offered outside the forest nursery trade.

Green Ash

(Fraxinus pennsylvanica) A graceful, fast growing (2-3 ft./yr) shade tree reaching a height of 50 to 60 feet. Leaves, dark green in summer, turn yellow in fall. Prefers moist bottomlands, stream banks, and sunny uplands. Once established, it tolerates high acidity, salt, drought, and sterile soils.

Northern Red Oak

(Quercus rubra) A handsome large (ht 60-80’ w 40-50’) symmetrical fast growing shade tree with heavy ascending branches and dense dark green foliage turning deep brilliant maroon-red in fall. A heavy crop of acorns produced every 2-5 years provides food for a variety of wildlife. Prefers deep moist well drained acid soils (loamy, sandy, rocky or clay) and slopes facing north or east, but tolerates a wide range of growing conditions. Transplants easily and should be pruned when dormant. With adequate space, it is a good choice for open space urban plantings. It is tolerant of pollution, soil compaction, and salt.

Pin Oak

(Quercus palustris) Moderate to fast growing, straight-trunked and symmetrical, this stately tree grows to 50-80’. Lustrous dark green leaves turn russet, bronze or scarlet in the fall. Prefers rich loamy, well drained soil, pH 5.5 to 6.6, and sun to part shade. Thrives in the small spaces typical of urban landscapes. Tolerates polluted environmental conditions.

Redbud

(Cercis canadensis) Whether planted alone, in a clump or border, or a naturalized setting, redbud is a striking small tree (H: 20-30’ W: 25-35’). The trunk often divides close to the ground; branches ascend, gracefully spreading, and are lined with outstanding purple/pink blossoms for 2- 3 weeks in April. Heart-shaped leaves are green in summer, yellow in fall. Prefers sun-part shade and deep, moist, but well-drained soils.

River Birch

(Betula nigra) This attractive, multi-trunked tree can reach 50 to 75 ft. in height with a spread of 35 to 50 feet. It prefers moist acid fertile soils, bit will tolerate drier sites. Wedged shaped leaves are lustrous and medium/dark green with double-toothed edges. The paper-thin exfoliating bark adds great beauty and interest to the winter landscape.

Swamp White Oak

(Quercus bicolor) One of the fastest growing oaks, which can grow to 75 to 100 ft. tall in the wild, this species reaches about 75 ft tall with a 50 ft . wide spread in residential gardens. It does well in moist sandy loams, but also in silty clay loams with poor drainage. The species is resistant to urban pollution, drought, soil compaction, and road salt. This beautiful tree is hard to find in the retail nursery trade.

White Ash

(Fraxinus americana) Its height is usually 50-80 ft with a spread of similar proportions. Its growth rate is 1 to 2 feet per year. Leaf color is dark green above and paler beneath, in summer changing to yellow to deep purple and maroon colors in fall. Prefers deep, moist, well-drained soils but also withstands soils which are not excessively dry and rocky. It requires full sun for best growth.

White Oak

(Quercus alba) The Maryland state tree, White Oak is one of the most handsome and long-lived oaks in the region. It grows with a full, outspread canopy from between 50 to 80 feet in cultivation, but may reach 100 feet in height in the wild. Best growth occurs in full sun in deep, moist but well-drained, acid soils, but can also tolerate dry, upland soils. The largest known White Oak in America was 31 ft. in circumference and had a 1-acre area dedicated as the Wye oak State Park in Talbot County, here in Maryland, for its protection.

White Pine

(Pinus strobus) This fast growing evergreen with soft blue-green needle-like leaves, often reaches a height of 50-80 feet, with a crown width half its height. Prefers fertile soil.

Meet Barry

2009-09-17T13:38:00.002-04:00

Blake, Madison and I had a ball at the mall today. I'm not one to typically hang out at Columbia Mall. I'm more the Arundel Mills type, better deals to be had there. But today? Not too shabby.

We arrived just before 10 and headed to the Lord & Taylor Court for Story Time, only to find out it had been moved down by Nordstroms. No worries. We got there in plenty of time to grab ourselves a carpet square and find a seat. Ms. Julie got started by introducing the theme of the day, Bees. We sang, listened, danced (well not Blake so much) and buzzed along. Madison started getting a little antsy about 3/4 of the way through, so we made a break for it. Just as well though, we had quite a few things on our to-do list and a limited time to do them in.

Next I headed to get my ring dipped in Rhodium. Turns out the trace amounts of nickel in my wedding band are causing my finger to break out. Apparently a quick dip will cure that problem right up. Only when I got to the place that is supposed to be able to do it while you wait, they said that their "guy" wasn't in until after 2. Don't they know about naptime? Oh well, off to Victoria's Secret I go. A few posts ago I told you about a deal where when you join Pink Nation you get a coupon for $10 off $35 and a free beauty travel kit. Today, I used my coupon and treated myself to one superb bra that actually fits (which was still on sale) and 5 pairs of NON-MATERNITY undies for around $30. Yay, I feel like a woman again.

Then we were off to Build-A-Bear. Blake picked out the dark brown bear and named him Barry. He's still too young for all the accessories and junk, but I did find a pair of swim trunks on sale for $3. All in all, we got the experience and a surfin' Barry for $8 and change.

Lastly, we met up with my good friend Tanya and her beautiful little princesses at the Food Court for a quick bite to eat before we had to pick up Owen from school. All in all; good day!

One of THEM Days

2009-09-16T22:49:00.001-04:00

Today was as the title states, one of them days, a day when your kids are destined to test every last nerve you have, a day when whining seems synonymous with breathing, a day when you wished you wouldn't look freakish if you actually did pull out all of your hair. That was my day. Guess when it started? Nope, you're wrong, it was 4 am. Sadly it wasn't the child screaming downstairs that woke me up, it was my nose running constantly through the night like a leaky faucet. In fact, it was because I had just been up blowing my nose that I felt obligated to take care of one screaming Blake.

I don't know why Blake randomly starts crying in the middle of the night. It's not every night, and most of the time, we can change his diaper, get him a drink of water, and tuck him back into bed. I tried this routine several times this morning to no avail. The child didn't fall back asleep until just about 6:00, and by then, why bother trying to catch a few zzz's. Of course if I had known that the rest of the brood was going to sleep in until 8:30, I would have rethunk my previous thought.

Despite the fact that I had been up for 4 hours, I still lost track of time (probably while watching Gossip Girl on the internet) and ended up rushing out the door at 8:50 to be at the gym by 9:00. Needless to say I was a few minutes late, but I still managed to get in a good workout (6.9 vigorous miles on the bike in under 28 minutes). Then the day just fell apart. I simply lost the motivation to do anything. Granted it is that "time" of the month, but I should have at least found the energy to take Blake to the nature center for the Butterfly event.

Honesty I flat out wasted about an hour of my day sitting in the parking lot at Target. I did, however, run into Kohls and picked up the cutest lamp for Madison's room on clearance for about $9. Then, and this is really the highlight of my day, I stopped by Michaels to look for scrapbooking ideas for our More than Moms scrapbooking party and ended up finding the perfect solution to bill organization. I had been thinking of putting some kind of sorter in our dining room so I'd have a place to put "paper" that needs to be "done." I really wanted it to have drawers basically so the clutter wouldn't be visible, seeing as it's in my dining room. Michael's had this white, 3-drawer craft storage that was just perfect for $15; could not pass it up; had to have it. Went right home, after picking up the oldest at school, and assembled it. I even used a screwdriver.

Now I'm getting tired, so I'll skip down to the part when the boys flooded my bathroom. Oh no, you read right. I was upstairs cleaning when I hear O screaming that he needs toilet paper. Wait a second, I just put 4 whole rolls of TP in that bathroom this morning. Lightbulb goes on and I fly down the stairs to find the bathroom completely soaked, O standing in the middle, pants down, asking for TP. It seems that one or both of my lovely children thought it would be funny to put all 4 rolls of TP in the sink and turn it out. The rest, as they say, is history. I snapped. My day had culminated in this? Great! I sent the boys to their room to pick it up while I cleaned up their mess (though I did have O help as much as possible). And then I just walked away. They were not to come out until I said so, which ended up being at least 15 minutes. Heck, it took that long for my heart beat to return to normal.

Yep, it was one of them days, and I survived!

Blog Highlight: Design Girl

2009-09-16T15:44:00.000-04:00

My friend, also from my days at Camp All-American, Beth, has started her own business, Design Girl, creating blog templates, stationary, scapbook kits, and more. And oh, it's absolutely adorable.

So this is my chance to give her a shout out, especially since it is her birthday week and she's having a contest. That's right, she is giving away free stuff all well. How much fun would it be if I won? Well, maybe not so much fun for you, but it would be awesome for me. Although, it would also be cool if one of you won, so go check it out. Get yourself a new blog template and see what else she has going on while you're there.

Today, she is highlighting the Monogram Chick and giving away a monogrammed travel coffee mug. I could so use one of those too. From the looks of it, the Monogram Chick specializes in babies and brides. I think I need to place a little order for a certain mom I know getting married next week. I know I mentioned this before, but I do love a personalized gift.

The Great Debate

2009-09-15T22:39:00.000-04:00

Though my heart still breaks into a million pieces when I think about leaving camp, my world is all of sudden wide open to pursue things that were, just last week, on the back burner. Opportunities I've wrestled with for well over a year are now actually possibilities. The problem is that I have to sort through them, filter them through the vision of my life. Where can I be more effective? Where can I explore my passions, use my gifts and talents, and best bring glory to God?

So here's what's out there looming. First we have the Patapsco Valley Republican Club, a great way to get involved politically, as well as with my immediate community. Second we have the Oak Crest Community Association, a place I've been involved as much as I could be the past year, but frustrated by the lack of response I get from the leadership. In both, I have the unique opportunity to be part of the governing boards, but which should I choose?

Just so you know, my current bias is towards the PVRC, mainly because my efforts with the Oak Crest association seem futile and seem to be waste of my time. A little background, but not much, I don't have all night. For the past year, I've committed to design and layout the community newsletter, as well as chair the Summer Picnic committee. Due to a lack of communication with the association president, I've been unable to perform either tasks. The last newsletter we put out was last January or February. I worked on one for the Spring but was unable to complete it despite several attempts to finalize. And the picnic, well that's just a whole other story. Let's just say that I don't have high hopes of that one happening, at least not this year. I plan on sitting down with the association president this week to talk through some of these issues that I've been having, and see where I feel comfortable going from here. The whole point of being involved in the association was to meet people in our community and be able to positively impact it. In my current capacity of service, I just don't see how I'm accomplishing either.

Actually I've been thinking today that maybe I don't need to be as involved with Oak Crest. More that Moms certainly provides me with more than enough connections in our surrounding area, and it's certainly open for me invite moms from my neighboring blocks. And the PVRC gives me the opportunity to impact my community through the political spectrum, changing it from the inside out, which kind of sounds better to me then being spoon fed excuses every 6 months as to why we can't have sidewalks on Edmonson Ave.

The bigger picture is that this is where we live, and soon to be where we worship. This is our community, and I want to be involved as much as I can, to spark connections, to leave an imprint, to facilitate change. The great debate is where! I obviously know where I'm leaning, but am continuing to pray for God to make it clear. Is there a way to do all of it? Could I maybe be a Street Rep in Oak Crest while remaining active with PVRC? Of course, More than Moms is not part of the debate, it's just part of the consideration. Does it meet a need that makes one of the options obsolete? I don't have the answer, but I'm willing to ask the questions.

A Park Lacking and My Response

2009-09-15T14:48:00.002-04:00

Today was the first playgroup for More Than Moms, A New Kind of Playgroup. We met at the Catonsville Park over off Rolling Road. I’ve been here several times, but I guess I haven’t stayed long enough for my son to need to go potty…until today. If you’ve never been here before, you should know that the bathrooms are located across the parking lot on the outside of the Senior Center building. Want to guess where I’m going with this? Yep, they were locked. Now, granted my 4 year old is a boy, so he’s used to just whipping it out and peeing where ever he would like, but let’s just say, I’m lacking experience in that particular form of art. I was mortified that the moms I was with had no where for their kids to relieve themselves except on God’s green Earth. Beautiful, just beautiful. Oh and the water fountain down by the volleyball courts had obviously been “out of service” for a while now. Good thing I travel with water bottles.

After arriving home, lunching up the kids, and putting them down for nap, I drafted this email to Councilman Sam Moxley. I’ll let you know if he responds.

Dear Mr. Moxley,
I am a resident of the Oak Crest Community in Catonsville. Today I organized a playgroup at Catonsville Park on Rolling Road. I was mortified to find that the bathrooms were locked when I went to take my 4 year old to the restroom. In the time that we were there, approximately 2 1/2 hours, I noticed more than 30 people in and out of the park area.
In my opinion, there should be some sort of facilities available for park-goers to use the restroom. I also noticed that the water fountain down by the water fountain was not working and looked like it hadn’t worked in a very long time.
The people or Oak Crest do a tremendous job keeping the park clean and well kept. I expect that when we use the park, especially in the middle of the day, that we have access to public facilities. If that is too much to ask, I’m hoping you would consider at least putting in a portable potty equipped with a washing station or at least hand sanitizer. I was very disappointed and embarrassed that my friend’s children had to relieve themselves in the woods.
Please let me know if there is anyway to remedy this situation.
Hillary Pennington
www.morethanmomsmd.blogspot.com

A Solution for Both Sides

2009-09-14T22:55:00.001-04:00

Look at me being Bipartisan here, at least for the moment. I've thought long and hard about this whole political blogging thing, and I definitely want a place where I can vent my frustrations, pump up the people, and babble on and on about all things political. My personal blog is just not the place for that, and I'm not to psyched about starting a new blog. That's just a lot of work. But there is a solution. The PVRC, Patapsco Valley Republican Club, has asked me to write on their blog. What a perfect win-win, right? I don't have to do anything but write and you don't have to read it if you don't want to. See, aren't I so diplomatic. Obama could learn a little something from me.

That being said, check it out. I've added it to my links as well. So visit as often as you would like. I'll be dealing mostly with local politics, though I'm sure some of the national BS will filter down as well.

Thanks to all of you who voted in the polls.

Deal of the Day: Free Pics

2009-09-14T15:17:00.000-04:00

Snapfish has a fantabulous deal for new users (just use a different email address). They'll give you 50 free prints, plus use code FREELABOR (by the way, labor is never free, but whatever) for FREE SHIPPING.

I think I'm finally going to get around to updating the picture frames in my house with pics of the third (and second) child. Yep, I'm really far behind.

Voice Defying Weekend

2009-09-14T14:48:00.000-04:00

So yeah, I've spent the better part of yesterday and today completely voiceless. Notice how I didn't say speechless. Laryngitis has not kept me from talking. It's just kept me from being heard, and made me smell & taste weird things.

Let's see if I can recap a most fantabulous weekend. I already told you about Friday night, which only made me regret not attending the DC Tea Party on Saturday (which I heard from untold #'s of people that it was eye opening and certainly an experience people will tell their kids about for years to come).

Saturday night was the Aaron Shust/Chris Sligh concert at First Baptist Church in Laurel, MD (our old stomping grounds). Joyce and I bought VIP tickets which promised a CD, t-shirt, and a private concert before the concert with Aaron & Chris. YAY! Only thing was that no on told us what time to be there. We showed up a little before 6 since that's when the doors opened. I'm guessing that we should have actually been there much sooner considering the private concert was almost over. Oh well, we still got to hear a few songs. As we walked in, Aaron made eye contact with me, and to my surprise recognized me immediately.

Now let me just interject here. Yes, I worked with Aaron for 3 years at Perimeter and while there, I would have said we were working buddies, but it's been 6 years. I wasn't sure at all if he'd even remember me, especially without being prompted. But he did! Yay!

After their set, he pulled Joyce and I aside and we caught up for a bit (literally a bit) before he ran off to grab a bite to eat before he was up. At this point, I have to say I was quite jealous. Normally we eat around 6ish, so by this time, I was pretty stinking hungry. Oh well, there's always later, right?

Katy, Wes & Neil met up with us at 7 for the concert. Okay, Neil was a little late because he went to the church's old building which was not where we were. He was also supposed to bring Owen with him, but O decided he'd rather play with Ashleigh & Carly, the babysitter. He'll regret that decision one day.

First up was a new guy, Andrew Witt, great sound, highly recommend. I fully plan on owning his CD. Honestly should have bought the 4-pack of CD's featuring all the artists like JOyce and Katy did. Kicking myself now.

Next up was another new voice, Lanae Hale, the only girl on the tour. Boy, does she have her work cut out for her. She was just down right cute, from her hair to her shoes. Her southern twang brought me right back to the South. Dang it, really should have bought the 4-pack of CD's. It was only $30! Kicking myself again!

Although I have to say that I've never been to a concert where people mostly sat unless they were told to stand. I always thought it was the other way around. Then again, I haven't been to concert in years, since I left Georgia, I think. Well, at least Joyce, Katy and I broke the barrier. Then again, we were also tweeting through out the event, and mostly with Aaron & Chris...and each other. I did find out from Aaron that Brian Duffy was on tour with him. Duffy used to make coffee for me every morning back at Camp All-American. Oh, those were the good old days, fresh Starbucks and the world's best jump roper pouring it for me. Now I have to pay $10 to see him play in his big old band. Oh how the tides have turned (insert over exaggerated rolling eyes)

Chris Sligh popped up next, though it begged the question, if it's his tour, then why isn't he headlining. Now, I didn't know much about Chris Sligh. Since I don't watch American Idol, I honestly didn't know who he was until I saw his name next to Aaron's. But this guy is impressive. His heart is so transparent for the Lord. I admire his choice to give up the lime light for a tour cross country in stinky vans. Plus I hear he has a gorgeous wife. Not sure why that's important, but that's what I was told. Do with it as you please. Quote of the night, "The 20th century had the zipper, the 21st has twitter." Come on, now that's funny stuff!

Last up, headlining, was Aaron Shust. It was really cool to hear him sing in this capacity. It's been 6 years since I've sat in a church and listened to him lead worship. This is a man I respect, for his music, his heart for God, and commitment to his family. He certainly hasn't let the celebrity go to his head.

Seeing as I've gone on and on, I think I'll stop here for now. I'll tell you about the Arts & Craft festival and my decision on political blogging in my next post (which may be in 15 min or 6 hours, depends on naptime). Pics are coming from the concert. I'm waiting on Joyce to send them to me. Joyce, if you're reading, hint, hint!

Free Tonight?

2009-09-12T11:12:00.000-04:00

I probably should have posted this earlier. I'm still getting used to this. There's a concert tonight at 7:00 pm at First Baptist Church in Laurel, MD. It's Aaron Shust & Chris Sligh (from American Idol), Back to School Stimulus Package Tour. I don't know much about Chris Sligh, but Aaron is an amazing singer (and person). He led worship at Perimeter Church when I worked there seveal years ago. I guess we'll see tonight how well he remembers me. Anyways, if you're not busy, it's only $10 and you can buy tickets at the door. We're taking Owen and leaving the other two at home with Carly.

On the Brink of What?

2009-09-12T09:51:00.000-04:00

Last night I attended the Patapsco Valley Republican Club's Patriot Day Reception with my wonderful, supportive husband and about 140 other concerned citizens of Baltimore County. Now I realize that not everyone who reads my blog is a conservative, or even gives a hoot about politics in general, but right now I happen to be pretty fired up. I'm debating whether or not to start a new blog that deals strictly with my political musings. Can I really keep up 3 blogs? Who knows? I do have a lot of extra free time now, and I've enjoyed getting back to roots of why I started the Hills of Chaos, a place for me to process all the muck inside my heart and mind.

Let's just say I took the plunge and created this new blog, what would I write about? Honestly, I think I'd stick to local candidates and issues that impact my family directly. Believe it or not, President Obama has very little effect over my everyday life, though as he expands government in general, he certainly is more threatening than any other president in my lifetime. Councilman Moxley and State Delegate Malone's decisions impact my kid's schools, our property taxes, whether or not Edmonson Road ever gets sidewalks, the recycling program, and more. And I'd personally rather see people in those positions who are more fiscally and socially conservative, who are more in touch with the vibe of the people. Last night, Steve Whisler announced his candidacy for County Councilman of District 1 in Baltimore County, replacing Sam Moxley. My first reaction? "Steve, anything you need, you just let me know." In fact, I think my first blog entry will be on Steve himself. Hhmm, guess I'm going to do this blog now, huh? Now I just need a name.

I'd love to see more young families get involved in the local scene. We get so tied up in our everyday lives that sometimes we forget that we actually have a say in how our tax dollars are spent, or even how our communities are shaped. We forget that our government works for us. I think it's time for some evaluation, accountability, and maybe even a little overhaul.

Funny story: I have many Facebook friends from the PVRC that I've never actually met before. Allison Baird is one of them, but as soon as she walked in with her husband, Shawn, last night, I recognized her from Facebook, so I introduced myself. She knew who I was as well, and even asked about More than Moms. We'd been talking for about 20 or so minutes when Neil walked in. As he's being introduced he has a funny look on his face. "Um, I don't know why, but you look strangely familiar." "Yeah, you look familiar to me too." Okay, not exactly something you're expecting to hear. How in the world does my husband know this woman? A few minutes went by as we're all racking our brains of where they may have met. Then Neil says, "Chick-Fil-A?" Immediately we all erupt into laughter. Of course, we see each other at Chick-Fil-A every Tuesday night. We connected when I was still pregnant over the fact that our daughters have the same name. Sadly, in 30 minutes of conversation, we never made the connection...and they live within walking distance. I smell a new friendship! Yay!

The Rainy Day Blues

2009-09-11T14:25:00.001-04:00

What a busy weekend ahead; tonight the Patapsco Valley Republican Club's Patriot Day Reception; tomorrow the Aaron Shust concert...both events sans children. Yet here I am, curled up on the couch with a glass of tea and my computer dragging through the day. It all started yesterday. I felt tired, like pregnant tired, and then I got that coated feeling in the back of my throught, the kind where you know it's going to hurt. By the end of Bible study, I officially felt horrible. At first I thought it to be allergies since I was sneezing constantly, so I went searching the house for benadryl. Now you know you're desperate for relief when you're willing to down two Children's Benadryl Perfect Measures. Those things are nasty. I don't understand why my kids love them. Anyways, no relief at all. I found my self drifting off to sleep just as my nose would start to drip. Thus began a seemingly endless cycle of up, blow, wipe, drift, drip. Finally I was able to prop myself into a position where my nose stopped drifting and I was able to get to sleep.

In a perfect world Moms would be awarded full night's sleep when sick, but we live in a fallen world, right? Around 2:45 this morning, Owen crawls into bed with us. At first I was willing to just ignore the fact that there was a child in our bed, but his tossing and turning and moaning and groaning sent me over the edge. I sat up in bed, and was about to drag him back down to his bed, when I felt overcome with dizziness, so I did what any good mom would do...woke up his dad. Not even 20 minutes later, Blake was whining up the stairs, literally. I actually coaxed him to the top of the stairs and then made the same mistake twice. Maybe he'll just lay down and go to sleep, then I'll take him back to his bed and skip the whole crying fit at 3:15 in the morning. Nope, this child got into our bed and started on the same path his brother had just taken, toss, turn, moan, groan. This time I didn't want to wake Neil, so I carried the ornary 2 year old back to his bed, changed his diaper, got him a drink of water, and laid down beside him. In about 5 minutes, the boy was out like a light. At 3:45 AM, I plopped my achy body back into bed and drifted off into oblivion.

I pulled myself out of that same bed limb by limb at 7:00 am this morning. My head floating, my muscles aching, my scalp tingling, my throat hurting, and I've been dragging ever since. I'm hoping a late afternoon shower will wash away some of the yukiness, and slipping into my pretty black dress for tonight's reception will once again make me feel like a woman (and not an infestation of snot).

Where does Possibility End?

2009-09-10T13:41:00.003-04:00

I spend so much time wrapped up in a to-do list that isn't so much an actual list as it is a conjumbled mess in my head. Sorry, I'm just not that organized, not that I don't try to be. I can't tell you how many calendars I have that started out filled to the brim and fizzled out over the next couple weeks. I'm one of those people that would do awesome with a personal assistant, but since that is in no way reality, I just have to deal.

Anyways, not my point. I spend all this time thinking about the mundane tasks of life that I forget to dream. Bring part of the new church plant, I've done nothing but. It's been amazing to sit around and brainstorm to no end. There is no box, no definitions, no constraints (at least not yet). We're just dreaming, and I hope we never stop. I hope the walls don't close in confining us to certain molds. There really should be no end to possibility.

Brainstorming with TJ about what the church building should look like, or function as, got be thinking about this whole playgroup idea is different light. In a way, I feel free to pursue. What? I don't know, but I'm excited to find out. I'm normally the down to earth type of gal. My BFF, Jo, would say that she spends most of her time in the clouds and I'm holding on to her foot attempting to pull her back to reality. She's the dreamer, and I'm the realist. But recently, in the fog that is my life right now, I get to dream. I get to say "why not?" I get to ask questions without fear of rejection. I get to explore the very talents and gifts that God has given me. And had Grace decided a different way, had I been able to stay with camp and go with new church, I may not have been able to experience this freedom. I may not have been able to commit as much of myself to the movement that is Fusion.

That being said, I'm praying today for a building, and not so much a church building. My friend Aaron was talking about the possibility of turning the old music store in downtown Catonsville into a place where the community comes to together (and we happen to use once a week to worship). I know that the elder team has been looking at office space in Elkridge, but why not in the middle of a city center? There certainly is a bunch of space in downtown Catonsville. What about a coffee shop/play area? Do you know how crazy busy that place would be on any given day? I don't know, maybe I'm the only mom who would love to have a place to hang out with my friends and watch my kids play safely. That would be awesome. And what if this same place, had a multi purpose room that the community could use...a mom's day out, an after school program, a place for groups to meet on the cheap, a swap n play (to be explained later). The sky isn't even the limit, because there is no limit to possibility. Yea, I'm praying for a place that people don't even know is a church, except by the people they meet there. That is the community I dream of, the family I want to be a part of, the Jesus I want my kids to know, the legacy I choose to leave.

Even if you're not part of the church plant, I dare you to dream with me. What would you do if you could design a "church" building? What would you use it for? What would it look like? Where would it be? I double dog dare you.

What Now?

2009-09-09T14:41:00.002-04:00

If only one could see all that is flying around in this small little head of mine. Seriously in the past week, I've been sad, confused, excited, sad again, lost, found, stressed, sad again, relaxed (not too much of that), and on fire. I've literally run the gamut of emotions. Who would have thought? But mostly, I've been praying for vision. I feel lost without one. I'm still not sure what role I'll play in new church, at least not in the long run, but I'm excited to do whatever I can to help. In the meantime, I feel like I need something to pour myself into. But what?

My first thought was my family. I know, it seems like a given right? And it should be, but pouring myself into my family would isolate me from the rest of the world. I'm not much of a loner. Okay, I really don't do good at all when I'm away from "adult" human contact. Yes, I am that strong of an extrovert. So i started thinking of ways that I could invest in my family and still have strong, interpersonal relationships with other moms, women, human beings.

Then I get an email from evite. It's the RSVP summary for playgroup. Playgroup, huh? And I started thinking? What if playgroup wasn't just a playgroup? What if it was more purposeful, more defined, more about supporting each other than just playing? Hhhmmm, this certainly gave me something to think about. But what would it look like?

So I started praying, and brainstorming, and chatting with others, and more praying and came up with More than Moms. Define it how you will, whether it opens us up to dads and nannies or implies that we're not just moms, but strong, intelligent women created by God to love Him and love others. Aside from continuing to host playgroup and creating a Facebook page for the group, I'm still in the brainstorming phase. If you have any ideas, please let me know. I see so many possibilities, such potential.

Please continue to pray for this new venture, and where ever God would have me long term. Also, pray for Camp as it evolves without me. Not that it's going to suffer, but there will be some changes and I pray that the Vision Team and leadership will have the wisdom to know how to move forward.

I also covet prayer for the new Fusion Church. This Sunday we're back at Grace. Pray for those still undecided as to where their community lies, where they want to invest. Pray for the interim elder team who are discussing things like name, location, doctrine, etc...! Wow, there is so much to pray for, I could go on and on for days. Let's just say...PRAY!

Gathered for a Movement

2009-09-06T20:49:00.004-04:00

Fifty or so people gathered on a hill tonight, ready for whatever God had in store. You know what I think? This community, where I am considered elderly at 31, is destined to impact the Kingdom in mighty ways. How? I have no freaking idea, and that there is the beauty of it all. It's frightening and exciting all at the same time. Heck, we don't even have a name yet. Maybe we'll just use a symbol or simply call ourselves "new church." We have no real place to meet, and to be honest no concept of what that place is supposed to look like. So here we are, a gathering of people with no real definition other than the fact that we possess hearts for God and love for the communities surrounding us. All we know is that this is where we are called to be; many of us required to make sacrifices to get here, to leap over hurdles, to leave things behind, to take up our cross and follow Him.

After tonight I know that it's worth it. Being at camp, a part of camp, I knew I was part of something so much bigger than me. But tonight I had the distinct sense that I was part of a movement, and one that I get to embark on with my entire family and not just myself. Admittedly I shed quite a few tears tonight because the sacrifice was evident to me. I gave up a whole heck of a lot to be there, and the reality of that came crashing down on me several times through out the evening. To some people, church is where you go on Sunday mornings, a place you belong to like the YMCA. Through this whole ordeal, I've come to learn that the Church is the body of Christ plain and simple. It's purpose? To build up believers so that they can be light in the world. For us, church is our community, our family, so much more than where we go on Sunday mornings (or in our case evenings).

If it were just about attendance, I probably would have made a different decision and gone to Grace mornings. At least that way I could have stayed with camp. Sure, if I viewed church as simply a place to worship, I could have kept pursuing my passion, but it's not that simple. I'm honestly not sure what would have been harder, to leave camp or to leave our community at Fusion. Seriously.

Tonight was our first official meeting as a church plant. We met up around 3ish at a park in Ellicott City, then divided out and stormed the communities of Catonsville & Elkridge with prayer warriors, walking the very streets we hope to see God work in and through. Neil and I had the opportunity to walk with Tanya around our very neighborhood. How convicting that we've lived here over a year and this was the first time we'd prayed for our neighbors. Yikes. We even managed to pray all the way to Opies, a popular neighborhood ice cream & sno-ball joint.

After the prayer walk, we met back up at the Pavilion was a bit of worship, sharing experiences and stories with one another. What are we excited about? What struck us on our prayer walks? What are we looking for God to do? And then we worshipped, and boy did we worship. Sitting up on this hill that overlooked the very areas we hope to reach, storm clouds rolling in, we knew God was there.

The future is foggy to me, not sure what it holds. Where can I serve? Where will God use me? I have no freaking idea, but I know that He will, and I'm excited (and terrified) to find out. And I'll let you know when I do.

A Break in the Silence

2009-09-03T13:46:00.004-04:00

I know I've been quiet lately, not in person so much as in my blog. There's been so much going on in my life, very little of which I could even discuss, much less blog about. Today I received some closure to the largest issue and not am able to open up a bit. Writing is like therapy for me. It allows me to drain the chaos swirling around in my brain, and ironically provides an opportunity to process what's there. I warn you though, I'm not sure how or what may come out, so be on the look out for road blocks, sharp curves, and abrupt stops.

A huge chapter of my life came to a close today, and it happened to be the chapter that spoke to my passion & ministry in life...Grace Adventures Day Camp. Shocked? I was too. Well, maybe not as shocked. It's not like I didn't see it coming, but sometimes no matter how much we prepare for a particular situation, we can never project exactly how we're going to feel when it happens. I knew my dad was dying, but when it actually occurred, when my heart and my mind met, it was devastating to say the least. Today I am heart broken, literally. Camp was a precious gift wrapped up in a glorious vision, given to me many years ago. I had the amazing opportunity to watch it come to fruition, to be part of something so big, it was doomed to fail lest God be in it, a small glimpse of heaven on earth. Please don't get me wrong. It is not camp that is coming to an end, just my role in it.

You might ask why? Why, Hillary, are you leaving something so precious to your heart? I've told you about the new church we're planting in our community, a branch off of Grace Community Church. Honestly, there was no question in our minds if we'd go, a no-brainer I'd say. We would probably have never left GCC on our own, never even crossed our minds. Sure, it's a trek down to Fulton, but that's where our community is, that's where we call home, our family away from our family. However, God decided to move our "community" to our actual community...like I said, no brainer.

It then came up that it might not be okay for me to remain in leadership over Camp and go with the new Fusion. I've known this question was out there for about 5 weeks now, and I'm happy to say that it's drawn me to the Cross, allowed me to lay down my fears, anxieties, and insecurities at His feet, but grappling with the choice of passion vs. community? I mean, how do you chose between two callings? Ultimately though, there is no real choice. I can't ask my family to uproot itself from their community in order to follow my passion. So when the choice was put before me today, I could, with confidence, chose my family, my church, my community.

Of course just because it was my choice does not in any way mean that I'm not completely devastated. Camp was my baby, my vision, my ministry. Leaving it will be one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do, right up there with moving to MD and watching my Dad slip away. But God is still God, sovereign, faithful, just. And it's clear to me and even to those around me that He is doing something big in my life. I have no idea what it could be, but in the midst of my sorrow, I'm excited to see what He has in store.

Throughout my life there have been many monuments, even before I was a believer, that I can look back on and see God's hand. It's in this time that I will choose to look back and see what He's done, to know that He's faithful, and that He is good. This summer I was given a verse, just days after these issues arose, a verse I cling to still today. "I am CONFIDENT that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Be strong; Take heart. Wait on the Lord."

I feel like the theme of my Summer was confidence. All my life, I've struggled with that very word. What is confidence? What does it look like? How can I be confident without being arrogant or self-righteous. I've realized that I'm not to be confident in myself, but in the Lord and who He has made me to be. "Being confident of this that He who began a good work in you WILL carry it on unto completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Phil 1:6)" At first I thought that I was to be confident in my position at camp. After all, I'm 100% sure God called me there. And He did, but now it's time to move on. Does that change my confidence? It shouldn't. I'm to be confident, not in my circumstances, but in my God. Whatever road lies before me, whether I'm to focus solely on being a mom, or to dabble to bit in other interests such as writing or politics, or take on a huge role in this new community...I have no idea, but I'm confident it's going to be a bumpy and joyous ride.

For now, I'm going to focus on the positives, and doing what ever I can to close up shop in such a way that ensures success to my successors. I covet your prayers in the days to come. As I mourn, I ask that you lift me up, especially when the enemy comes and attacks my securities, and lies to me about the circumstances. It's so easy for me to buy into the pity parties. Please pray that I remain confident in Him who is good. And while your at it, lift up Camp. Pray that it too continues to be a glimpse of heaven on earth, that the vision will live on.

Nope, Not Dead Yet

2009-08-26T08:12:00.003-04:00

Of course I had to take a hiatus from blogging right after a somewhat depressing entry...sounds like me, doesn't it? Honestly, life took over and there just hasn't been much time to breathe in the last few weeks much less write. There has been some stuff going on that I'm still not at liberty to write about, none of which is life threatening or catastrophic, just a valley I have to walk through. When all is said and done, I hope to be able to talk about what I learned through it all (which was tremendous).

For the past week and a half, we've spread our wings and flown south, a two week whirl wind tour visiting family and now friends (who are more like family). First we hit Panama City Beach where we soaked up the rays (while covered by SPF 30 or higher of course) at my mom's house. Then it was off to Warner Robins to see my grandparents for a few hours, and on to Augusta to visit with Neil's parents. Guess what happened next? Neil and I left the boys with Nana and Papa and spent two wonderful days in Charleston almost alone. We still had Madison, but she's such a good baby, you barely notice she's there. Now we're in Chapel Hill visiting Jo, Jamie, Angela & Rodg. We rarely get to see them except for the occasional stop over on our way to Georgia. So it's nice to be able to spend a few days (sans the boys) and really hang out.

So that's the brief update, just to let you know that we're still alive and kicking. We arrive back home at the Pennington Estate (ha ha ha) this Saturday and life will pick up right where we left it. Clare's wedding shower is Sunday morning and then Neil leaves Sunday evening for a week of training in Boston. If you think about it, pray for us. I'm not too keen on being a single mom for an entire week. Can you say babysitters? Come on, a girl needs her sanity more than her money.

Overwhelming

2009-07-29T06:16:00.002-04:00

There is so much going on right now in my life, little of which I can even talk about, but I can tell you a little of what I'm learning. God is bigger than the boogie man. We all have boogie man's in our lives. Mine typically show up as fear, insecurity, and pride, and when they do, they tend to wreak havoc all over th place. So I'm constantly having to fall at the Cross, surrender my fears, my insecurities, and my pride...confessing that only He knows the end result and it will bring Him glory. Seriously, it's a constant battle, a constant surrender.

Sometimes I feel like I just barely have one nostril above the water. It's overwhelming, but God is showing up. He's comforting me, showing me extensive amounts of grace, and answering prayer. In the darkness, He is there guiding me, holding me up.

I'd like to request your prayers today. I covet them. I'll explain later, but let's just say I could really use them. Pray for wisdom, discernment, and direction. But overall pray for God's glory in all things.

I apologize for the vagueness. Please know that it's not the end of the world, just not something I'm able to talk about at this moment. Thank you.

2009-07-23T05:50:00.003-04:00

If you're a parent, you can probably relate to how I've been feeling lately (or at least I hope you can). Can I just say that Satan certainly knows where we are the weakest, and for me, it's my worth? This has been a challenging week for me, one I wasn't going to even blog about because of the fear of what people might think. Isn't that just down right silly? Believe me, it probably keeps me writing half of what I would write (and sometimes that's a good thing). Ok, Hillary, get to the point, right? I have to open camp this morning, so I only have about 7 minutes to get this out.

So Monday, Owen's sitting in assembly looking a bit sluggish. I get down on my knees and beckon him over where he sits on my squatted knee and gives me a giant hug. Uh oh, he's warm. Immediately I take him to the nurse. Yep, Owen has a fever. Normal people with normal jobs would probably leave right away, but given that he had absolutely no other symtoms, I let him hang with the nurse for a while and then take a nap. By the time we got home that day, his fever was gone. It must have been something he was fighting off and he won...not so fast. On Tuesday, Neil stayed home with him half a day and then brought him to camp. Turns out that the church's policy is that if he had a fever in the last 24 hours, he can't come to camp. Being the calm, cool, and collective person that I am, I totally freaked out on Michelle, Karin, and Amy D when I realized that Owen was pulled from his group. But there was a bit more going on than just Owen's symtomless illness.

Moments prior to this, I had just arrived back at camp from Madison's six month check up. It seems that not only is she still tiny, but she's actually lost a pound since her 4 month visit. The whole way back to camp, I was kicking myself for not knowing. Of course, I'd noticed that she was tiny, but how did I not see that she'd actually lost weight? Needless to say I was already in a vulnerable place, and then to come back and see Owen sitting in the big green chair (that is the coolest chair ever) in the nurse's station, I just lost it. It had nothing to do with whomever was in the room. I was feeling like a failure and easily went into fight or flight mode. Suddenly I felt the need to protect myself and my family.

We went straight home. It'd been a long time since I was home at 2:30 in the afternoon. I wasn't sure what to do with myself or my kids. How sad is that? I could tell my patience was thin, and this nagging feeling in my gut would not go away. Satan kept feeding me the lies. "How could you not have known?" "A good mom would have kept her kids home all day today?" "You're just not enough for either of them."

Oh but it gets better. My symtomless kid starts complaining that his ear hurts. Oops, maybe he is sick and has an ear infection. I decided that a good mom would take her son to the doctor, and that's just what I did. I even asked for a strep culture even though his throat wasn't even the slightest bit pink. The doctor thought I was being overzealous, but since he'd been exposed to it at camp, I thought it was best to be sure. Never in a million years did I expect that test to come back positive. I mean his hurting ear turned out to be a mild case of swimmer's ear, and let's remember that he has no other symptoms. Seconds after I got the prescription filled for the ear drops, the nurse calls...positive for strep. Are you kidding me? Let's just stab another dagger in my heart. Immediately I turned around, marched back into the pharmacy, and got him some amoxicillan (which he took right away at 12:19). Of course this means he has to be away from other kids for 24 hours. He'll be at camp today at 12:20 (or somewhere around there), after my more than awesome hubby hangs out with him this morning.

Actually when it comes to sicknesses, I don't get all germaphobic, but I see how people respond to sick kids. It's like they have leprosy or something. Owen got strep from another boy at camp, and somebody may get it from him. I get the whole not wanting to get sick thing, but considering the incubation period on most illnesses, there is no way, we can protect our kids from everything. Owen had strep and it was barely noticeable, if at all. Normally, he's a pretty healthy kid despite my lack of germaphobia.

And when it comes to Madison, the doc thinks it's simply a caloric thing. We went through this with Blake, not this extreme, but still the same thing. We are going to beef up her solid intake and recheck her weight in 2 weeks. Right now, I am focusing on the calories and the recheck, trying desperately not to think about what happens if she's still not gaining in 2 weeks. I'd appreciate your prayers for all my kids as well as myself in this time.

Gotta go...or I'm going to be late.

So Totally Stoked; This Entry May Seem More Like Rambling

2009-07-20T21:21:00.003-04:00

About a month or so ago, I blogged about some exciting stuff going on in our lives that I wasn't able to talk about...yet! Well, as of last night, this very same exciting stuff has become public knowledge so now I can talk about it all I want. To be honest, I'm not a very good secret keeper in general, but when the secret is this huge, I'm more of a secret keeper failure. I may have let it slip on more than one occassion, but I chalk it up to more of an outburst of the overflow of my heart then anything else.

For five years, Neil and I have been attending Grace Community Church. More specifically, we go to Fusion, a young adults service that meets on Sunday evenings. In all actuality, to us atleast, Fusion is more than just a service. It's our church, our community, our family. So when I heard that TJ was moving towards "transplanting" Fusion to the Catonsville/Elkridge area, it was a no brainer. Hello, we live in Catonsville. We love Fusion. Basically, we're changing the location of where we worship.

I don't really have a lot of time to go into all the details of the whys and hows and what nots? But I will say that my first response to TJ was "why didn't we do this 3 years ago?" It's a good move for TJ, for Fusion, and for us. I'm so excited, I can barely keep it together. Seriously, I felt like I was going to explode last night as TJ & Mark Norman were making the official announcement to Fusionites.

So what comes next? People will have to decide whether they stay at Grace and join a movement to shepherd the young adults left behind or to go with Fusion, or whatever it's new name might be, on an exciting adventure in the Catonsville area.

Can I just say that Grace Community Church is 100% behind this move, prayerfully and financially? There have been some rumors floating around that are simply not true. And even if they were, who cares? It's clear to me that God is all up in this. And in case you're wondering, this decision in no way impacts my ministry at and through camp.

Speaking of camp, if you want to know what's going on, check out www.graceadventuresdaycamp.blogspot.com!

A Litmus Test

2009-07-15T06:12:00.003-04:00

I just finished reading our camp devotional for this morning that rubbed me the wrong way. The writer pulled out the 3rd of the Great Ten Commandments. "You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain." (Exodus 20:7). He then, like usual, applied this command to people texting "omg" or saying "swear to god" or "holy cow." Now I don't know this for sure, but I don't think God was so concerned about the Israelites speech patterns that he sent Moses up on a mountain to tell him about it. If you're going to pick only 10 commandments, you'd think they would be pretty darn important, right? Especially the 3rd one. Can I get an amen? (Why do people say that anyways?)

In my opinion taking the Lord's name in vain goes deep below the words or phrases that we say, far beneath the common sayings in our culture. Do we give glory to God in all that we do? If not, then we're breaking the 3rd commandment, which I probably break 80% of the time. I think that we take the Lord's name in pride when we speak from a root of pride, when we take credit for what is obviously (or not so obviously) the Lord's hand moving, when we presume that we know what is going to happen, even when we speak of what the Lord will do for us. Yes, I believe that Exodus 20:17 was intended to warn His people not to glorify themselves or take credit for what He has done.

Now let's go back to the beginning for a minute. Don't get me wrong. I think it's important to have clean and appropriate speech, but how would you define that? Cuss words are completely cultural. What is considered bad here in America may not be considered so bad in another country. Of course, we could substitute cutesy words for the bad ones, but does it really change the meaning? If I say "what the flipper," have I changed the meaning than if I said "wtf?" Or what about "oh my gosh," as opposed to "omg?" Or "shoot" instead of "shit?" My point is that a word is simply a word until you add the emotion behind the word, that is what gives it true, contextual meaning. And changing the word doesn't at all change the intended use of the word.

So what is the litmus test for word usage? "Do let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is useful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Eph 4:29

God is more concerned about our hearts, our intent, our motives, our actions. Let's take a look around us before we speak. What effect would whatever we were going to say have on the people around us? Would it build them up?

This is definitely something that I will be thinking about throughout the day. I struggle with sarcasm and a lack of tactfulness. I could use a litmus test for my speech, and the intended use of it.

Now This Makes Me Proud...

2009-07-13T19:33:00.002-04:00

My Aunt sent me an email with a link to a video. Normally, I wouldn't pay any attention, but for some reason, I clicked on the link, scrolled down the page, and pressed play. It wasn't 15 seconds later that warm tears were flowing freely down my face, feeling both sad and proud all at the same moment...proud to be an American, proud to be a Georgian (at heart), and proud to be part of the human race. That's all I'm going to say...just watch the video.

Picnics, Laundry, and Chic-Flicks!

2009-07-13T06:09:00.003-04:00

It's amazing how much you can cram into 48 hours. What is supposed to be a time of relaxation and refreshment ends up being a marathon event, running from place to place, accomplishing task after task. I honestly believe that I wake up more tired on Monday morning then I do on any other day of the week. So where does the time go? Let's recount.

Friday we decided to stay home, eat leftovers and just chill. Great decision because we were about to hit overdrive. While we're "just chilling," Neil says, "Oh, I forgot, the Canoe Club picnic is tomorrow." OK Hillary, don't freak. How often do I omit tiny details such as this? "Sure, honey, as long as we are down at Maple Lawn by 5."

Saturday morning wasn't too bad. I weighed in 3.6 pounds lighter (which I'm thinking might be more muscle loss than fat loss, but we'll see). The rest of the morning consisted of me trying to put a dent in Mt. Dirty Hamper and preparing to be gone the entire day. And when you're going to two large events that both contain some sort of swimming attraction and of course the sun, there is a lot to think about...snacks, drinks, sun block, swim stuff, change of clothes, food for Madison, etc...! It's enough to send someone to the funny farm (only it wasn't so funny, and definitely not how I wanted to start the day). Of course by the time we got in the car, I was spouting off at Neil how he hadn't helped enough or noticed any of the amazing stuff I was doing for our family. Seriously, Hills, it's just sun block, but in the moment, it seemed so important. Doesn't it always? The forty minute drive to Pasadena was a bit stressed to say the least. All was resolved by the time we reached the shore, but it makes me wonder why I have to be so stinkin' sensitive?

The Baltimore Canoe Club picnic turned out the be the windiest event I think I've ever been to. It's probably the first time I've experienced a constant wind strong enough to blow anything away that isn't securely anchored that isn't associated with a rather large storm. It was just windy, and apparently normal for the shore, but just annoying to me. But it didn't ruin the event. At first Owen kept saying he wanted to go home. "Why Owen?"

"I'm just scared, Mommy. The water is too big." I'm thinking that the meer expanse of the water firghtened him. He's used to swimming in a pool, but by the end of the picnic, he was out there swimming in the muck of the Magothy (with a water snake might I add). Blake and Owen both enjoyed their time there, but didn't fight us when it was time to go to the next party.

Maple Lawn is a community across the street from Grace Community Church. Let's just say that Neil and I could probably afford a closet there. Once a year, they open up their "doors" to the community for a day of free fun, food, and fireworks. This year, Grace decided to be part of that. We set up a sand art table (left over from the picnic), and had at it. It actually became more of a camp thing, and what good exposure it was for us. We didn't have a ton of conversations about camp or church, but people knew we were there. It's just another opportunity to sprinkle our vision over the community. I'm pretty sure we'll be back next year, if for no other reason than the boys to play in their kick-butt pools. Neil, Blake & Owen spent more time in the water on Saturday than out of it, or so it seemed. Saturday night I simply could not fall asleep. Maybe I was too tired. I stayed up watching Chick-flicks until 2 am, and 7 am came pretty early.

Sunday wasn't so eventful as it was packed full with the mundane tasks required to kick off a new week, sea of laundry, grocery shopping, packing bags, etc... By the time we left for church, I was just done. Thankfully it was food & fellowship night because that means I don't have to worry about what to feed my family for dinner. When we got home, I consciously dedided to do nothing to rest of the night, and nothing consisted of watching The Parent Trap until 11:30...way too late when you have to get up at 5 am, not a good choice as I sit here now trying to process the fact that I have to leave my house in 20 minutes and wishing I had done some prep work last night. Oh well, you live and you learn. I could have chosen not to blog, or spend time in the word, but those things are more important to me then getting out of the house on time.

2009-07-08T06:03:00.002-04:00

I bet you're wondering what happened to me? Here I was blogging every morning and then poof, there she goes again. Actually, it's not that I haven't thought about it (constantly actually). It's more that I was choosing to blog instead of spending time with God, and it was taking a toll on me through out the day. So I thought, since I'm blogging about camp, I'll just find time during camp to blog. And here we are on Wednesday morning and I've yet to write about anything this week. Solution? The only one I could come up with is to have my quiet time and then blog, all before I leave the house. We'll see how it goes.

So, week 1; not technically the first week of camp, but since it's the first full-day week of camp, we're calling it week 1. We'll rethink that for next year. I just have to get this off my chest, so bear with me for a moment...we have the best staff ever. From the leadership to the counselors, I see people hungry for the Lord and excited to be on the "mission field" at Grace Adventures Day Camp.

Getting to know people in a camp environment is no easy task. Sure we spend 11 hours a day together, but how much time do we have to go deeper? I'm so thankful for our devo times, but in all honesty, most of us are still waking up so the depth can be a bit shallow (& not in the conceited way). But those that I have had a chance to spend some quality time with have been nothing short of an encouragement to me. To see their character lived out on the soccer field or back deep in the "non-woods" we call the hollow, or their hearts lived out in during camp song in assembly...it's a privilege to be in a position where I can observe, and hopefully exhort.

Now God has not made exhortation a key gift for me, but I know of it's great importance, so I'm at least attempting to use it regardless. I'm also trying to encourage the staff to lift each other up through prayer, notes in boxes, etc.... As the weeks go by, and bonds continue to form, it will be cool to see the different ways that they carry each other through the summer.

I wanted to highlight one counselor in particular. Iman was one of the first people to apply to camp, way back in February. She was also one of the first we hired. From the get go, I could see her excitement for this summer. But it wasn't until staff training that I began to see her heart. Granted, I haven't had much time to spend with her outside of camp, but because of a particular circumstance, I've had a couple opportunities to get to know her better.

During staff training, Iman came to me and asked about the room I had for rent. She had heard me talking to Amy about possibly renting out Mat's room when he goes off and gets married. Neil and I had decided if God sent someone to us that met our criteria, then we'd love to have another roommate. Of course Mat's shoes are hard to fill. He's like family.

So I told her about the room, the basement, the house, and the chaos, and it didn't scare her away. Then I told her about our expectations like the fact that we want that person to not just be a tenant, but part of the family (oh and they have to keep their bathroom clean). Iman seemed intrigued, but moving out of mom's house is a huge step for her, for anyone. On Monday, she came over after camp for dinner and to see the room. It was so much fun to have her there and to be able to hear more of her story. She fit right in, and yesterday let me know that she was pretty sure she wanted to do it. Yay! I'm actually pretty stoked about having a girl live with us. Fun girl time without leaving the house? Yay again! Plus Iman does have the gift of exhortation, so I can totally learn a bunch from her. I hope she rubs off on me.

Oh goodness, I so have to go take a shower, or I may never get to camp this morning.

A 4th I'll Remember...especially my achy body.

2009-07-05T07:21:00.002-04:00

By the time I rolled into bed last night around 11:45, I was exhausted to say the least. Oh what a day. Let's see, it started off with both boys parading around our room at about 7:00 am. I'm thinking they haven't mastered the idea of sleeping in on weekends. It's cool though, it was still sleeping in to me considering I get up around 5 am during the week (at least during camp time). I made breakfast for my family (and Neil's uncle, aunt, and cousin...which I'll tell about later), good old cheese grits, eggs, sausage, and fresh fruit. Then Owen, Madison and I took off to Target for a couple necessities like pop-tarts (they make camp mornings so much easier), snacks for lunch, and a birthday present for Tucker. Owen actually picked out a remote control tarantula which I thought was pretty cool, but decided that it was better for Michelle's family then my own. Plus it just so happened to be on clearance. Have I mentioned how much a love a good deal?

After Target we were off to Michelle's house to celebrate Tucker's 4th birthday. Of course Owen was confused by this. "Mommy, why isn't it my birthday. My birthday is next." Yeah, I'm starting to rethink my recent strategy to divert his attention from Blake's birthday by making sure he knew that his birthday was coming up next...in our family. Oh well, we're in the why stage anyways, so really any topic would have annoyed me at that point. The party was great/ Lots of friends, both mine and Owen's. Lots of food, enough to make me feel glutenous (but that faded later). And even a little camp talk, though we tried to keep it to a minimum.

Oh goodness, I have to tell you about the phone call I got earlier that morning. So my phone is ringing and I look down and notice it's not a number I recognize. Now, on any other day of the year (except maybe Christmas), I would answer it "Grace Adventures Day Camp, This is Hillary. How may I help you?" Since my cell phone doubles as the camp phone, it makes sense. But yesterday, when I saw this number, I thought, "oh it's the 4th and no one would call camp on the 4th." Sure enough, it was a mom wanting to sign her three kids (not the same lady whose message I deleted) up for camp next week. From now on, I'll make sure to stick to my self=imposed policy.

We left the party around 1:30. I had almost decided not to go to the parade. I was tired. Owen was tired. Madison was teething and cranky. So I went over to Old Navy to see if I could find some shorts. They had 1 pair in the whole store in my size, so I bought it. We roll up to the dressing room and I realize Owen is asleep in the back of the cart. Great, now what? I get him into the car and decide to wait a few minutes, still on the fence as to whether to walk in the parade. Around 2:30 Owen wakes up. "Mommy, are we going to the parade now?" That sealed it. But the parade started at 3:00 and we were supposed to be there at 2:00 to line up. I called my friend Leslie who is the secretary of the republican club (and also lives in my neighborhood) and asked if it was too late. Nope, she just told me where I needed to go. Since we live so close, it was easier to just go home and walk then it would have been to try and find a parking space. In super hero speed, I parked, went potty, got out the stroller, loaded up the kids, and literally ran (in flip flops) about a mile to where they were lining up.

Owen was intrigued, to say the least. He'd never seen a parade before. Since our float was about half way through the line up, we got to watch the first half of the parade from an up close and personal vantage point. When it was our turn to start walking, I asked Owen if he wanted to walk and wave. He said no, and he literally sat in the stroller the entire time. We were walking with the Patapsco Valley Republican Club. Surprisingly enough, we weren't greeted by many boos. Actually I only heard one from a loony looking guy who looked three sheets to the wind and a little off his knocker. Mostly we were greeted by enthusiastic cheers and even a few people who joined us in the parade. Once we got to the end of the parade route, it was time to walk home. I'm guessing it's about a two miles. Keep in mind, I'd already walked that if not more. By the time we got home, I was utterly exhausted, aching even, and no longer feel glutenous.

We were home for a few hours, ate dinner, relaxed, and then got ready to head out again. This time were going to see the fireworks at the high school. We figure it's about 2 1/2 to 3 miles to the school. Since we were walking we didn't have to deal with traffic or the hassle of finding a parking space. But it was a long walk, and of course, we still had to get home. But we got there, found a place to sit, and waited for the 'works to begin. The kids were beyond tired, but the excitement and anticipation kept them up for a little while.

The show began around 9:30. Blake was intrigued, Owen was scared and Madison cackled at the sparkly fun. I'm not sure exactly how long the show lasted, but by the end, we had three sleeping children and two sleepy parents. On the walk home, Blake was snoozing in the little red wagon, Madison was snoozing in her car seat, and Owen was trying to snooze in the back of the stroller (but it's really not that conducive for snoozing).

All in all, I'd say I got plenty of exercise yesterday. In fact, my muscles will attest to that this morning. The kids had a lot of fun being exposed, for the first time, to all the 4th festivities.

Today I'm taking a Sabbath. This is the first Sunday, in so long I can't remember, that I haven't had to go in to work. So we're just chilling out (except for the grocery shopping). This morning, we're going out to breakfast, and then off to run some family errands, maybe a park for the kids, and then home to rest. I'll pick up tomorrow with a few more camp stories. I want to tell you about our picnic on Friday and Neil's family's visit, but right now I hear the sound of a very hungry baby.

"Друг"

2009-07-03T05:52:00.002-04:00

"Я имею друга, который говорит на русском языке." One of our campers went home and uttered this phrase to his mom. "I have a friend who speaks Russian." See, Ethan was recently adopted from Kazakhstan, along with his brother Alex, by a friend of mine, who just happened to be part of our orginial curriculum team for camp. A few weeks ago, I saw her name pop up on our registration software, and I can't begin to tell you how excited I was to see it. Immediately I gave her a call. Were they really thinking of sending their children to camp. I mean, they've only been back in the States for a few weeks?

They decided to try out the Taste of Camp week to see how they do. Alex is 4 and the most adorable little thing you've ever seen. His smile literally lights up the room. He and his brother know very little English, but I'm thinking being immersed into an environment with 35 other kids spitting out 500 words a minute is a pretty good way to learn. We placed Ethan in HJ's group. Poor HJ, I kind of forgot to clue him in on the language barrier (and a few other things), but this guy rose to the occassion. Tuesday afternoon I noticed he was reading a Russian/English dictionary. Now this was after Ethan had already gone home for the night. Can I just say that it's this type of behavior that makes me so proud of the staff we have at camp? The next day Jaclyn (the mom) told me that Ethan had come home and said, "friend, I have a friend who speaks Russian." As a mom myself, I know how that would make me feel, confident, safe, and proud. I'm not saying that's how Jaclyn felt, but I'll bet it made her glad she had decided to send them to camp.

They're thinking of coming back another week in the summer so Ethan and Alex can go to camp with another family, who are also adopted and speak Russian as well. Alena came to camp last summer and loved it. This year, she is bringing her brother along with her. What a picture of our vision. We're buiding bridges. We're creating a "safe place" for people to come and be loved. It's for this reason that I know I'm just where I'm supposed to be. And I'm so thankful that God has made that known to me.

Today we're having a cookout and inviting all of our camp families to join us. From what I've heard, most will be, even those with working parents (most people are off today...most). I'm excited to hear more stories and be able to share them here. Hopefully I'll get up some pics too.

2009-07-02T05:54:00.002-04:00

The scene was just how I had pictured it in the shower. Campers, parents, staff, and friends hanging out, eating, playing, and chatting it up at Chick-Fil-A. I'm not sure exactly how many came or for that matter how much money we made, but I'm pretty sure we accomplished what we set out to do...facilitate building community. I had the opportunity to meet the rest of the families of some campers and talk more in depth with their moms about how they were liking camp. Everyone I talked to was super stoked about camp in general, and all said they were interested in coming back for a full day camp either later this summer or next. Sweet! That's why we did Taste of Camp week, to entice campers to want to come more.

It's safe to say that I'm starting out the morning on the right foot. Camp is going great, and I don't just use that word lightly. Of course, it hasn't been without it's surprises, kinks, and splinters, but for the most part, I have no complaints.

My deleted message still hasn't called back, so if you guys could continue praying for that. I'd greatly appreciate it. And there are a couple ladies either on our staff or in our "camp family" who are pregnant and in their third trimester. Please join us in praying for them to be able to carry a healthy baby to full term. Of course we're excited about expanding said family, but we'd like them to hold out until they're fully cooked.

So funny story, and I'll have to post the picture in the next couple of days, but my oldest is so stinking shy. I've just never seen it before. He's always so comfortable around me and most everyone else in his life, but I'm telling you, that boy is like a turtle. Yesterday was the first day he started to come out of his shell at camp, and yesterday was not picture day. So on Tuesday's we take group pictures. In his picture, he's sitting on his counselor's lap (probably unwillingly) turning his body as much as he can away from the camera. All the other camper's in the pic are smiling, having a great time, and here's Owen fleeing from the spotlight. What a wake up call. Hillary, your seemingly outgoing, fun loving son is an introvert (just like his dad). It's not a bad thing by any means, I just didn't see that coming. Maybe Blake will get my personality. I need at least one more extrovert in this house.

Also, I'm pretty sure we're going to start a camp blog. That way we can send everybody to it, and our other director's can add to it as well. Most likely, I'll continue to write about camp here and then transfer it there. Seriously, what else am I going to write about. I pretty much eat, sleep & breathe camp.

Also, on a side note from camp, could you all pray for my BFF Jo and her family? Just pray that their Jehovah Jireh will provide for their every need, abundantly according to His glorious riches. Thanks!

Today, I hope to out more amongst the campers and not stuck inside either in meetings or doing much needed paperwork. But I'd love to be able to tell more specific stories about camp in general. And don't stop praying for our scholarship fund. We still need about $2000!

Even in the Stupidity

2009-07-01T06:00:00.002-04:00

You know when you do something, and the second you do it, you realize you shouldn't have? Yep, I had a moment like that yesterday. I was listening to a voicemail from a mom who wanted to sign 3 (count them 3) middle schoolers up for our SIT camp. While I'm listening to this message, I'm also conveying to Michelle what I'm hearing. When I got to the "3 friends" part, I put up my three fingers to Michelle and we both started freaking out, because 3 more SIT campers will bring us to a total of 20 for week 1 (which fill us up). In all the excitement, and in one wish I could replay moment, I took the phone away from my ear, pushed the number 7, and hung up.

It wasn't even a second later that I'd realized what I had done...deleted the message. In desperation, I got back into my voicemail hoping there was some sort of holding box for deleted messages...yeah, not so much. Caller ID isn't an option because the call was forwarded to my phone from the church. So it's gone. All we can do is hope the mom calls back. Please pray with us that she calls back. This is definitely not an example of good customer service. But somehow I know that even in my stupidity, God will be glorified. I'll keep you posted.

In other news, I was in the shower the other day thinking about Chick-Fil-A, and I had an idea. Of course all shower ideas are good ideas, right? Anyways, I ran said idea by the leadership team, got a go ahead, and made the call. The end result? We're inviting everyone to join us as Chick-Fil-A on John Hopkins road every Wednesday night from now until August 5th. The folks there have been so gracious as to allow us to do a fundraiser along side their kid's night. So here's the deal (and there is a deal). For every combo meal you buy, you'll get a FREE kid's meal (assuming you have a kid) and 20% of the proceeds will go to our scholarship fund. All of us that have kids were planning on being there anyways, but this way, we can continue to build relationships with camp families and the community. So come on out tonight or any Wednesday through August 5th. We'll also have camp bumper magnets (though magnets don't normally stick to bumpers) & water bottles available to purchase (and hopefully hats soon). The proceeds of all of our merchandise goes directly to our scholarship fund.

Until tomorrow!

2009-06-30T05:49:00.002-04:00

You know what is so amazing about God? He's not at all surprised by what surprises us. Yesterday, he reminded me of this truth. So, it's the first day, right? Everything is supposed to run smoothly, right? Really, why is it that people say that? Rarely does the first day or moments of anything run without hiccups. In fact, it's actually a blessing to be able to get out the kinks in the beginnning before they become tangles that are difficult to remove.

For the most part, camp ran smoothly, and hopefully to the parents and campers, we looked organized and prepared. And in reality we probably were...for the most part. And the surprises we had turned into awesome opportunities to live out our vision.

7:36 AM: Michelle and I had just arrived at the church. Owen is changing into his clothes right there in the foyer (seriously, no one else was there). Blake is swinging his blanket around like he's lassoing a cow. And Madison is desperately crying out "feed me, mommy." I look up and see a little girl bouncing towards the door, followed by her mom loaded down with a backpack and lunchbox. Perplexed, I go for the door. Clearly there has been a mix up. The mom thought we started full days this week, but that's cool, we just rolled with it. We'd already made arrangements for a couple of our all summer kids to stay, so we'll just add her to that list. I took her in and got her aquainted with our nursery staff and she hung out with them until it was time to "go to camp." That was surprise #1, which really turned out to be more of a blessing.

8:34 AM: Suddenly, I realize we have no banners up. These are what let people know we're a camp. So I get a couple guys working on it, but we run out of time. Scrap that for later. By 4 pm, they were hung and ready for tomorrow. I'm pretty sure they all knew they were at camp yesterday, but just to make sure....

9:36 AM: A mom approaches me and asks if this is where her daughter will be dropped off after lunch. After lunch? Camp is over after lunch. We do have a girl starting next week who is coming from summer school, but...yep, you guessed it...there's been a minor mix-up. Well, since I'm used to rolling with it by now, we just rolled with it. I assured the mom that we would take good care of her daughter, made sure she knew that since this was a half day, that she would be simply hanging with our staff all week, and sent her merrily on her way. Again, a blessing.

10:01 AM: Radio sounds off ;"Hillary, are there any cups at the pavilion?" Oops, cups would make it easier for the kids to drink from the water coolers. Off I go down to the pavilion with the first stack of cups I saw (which I stole from the coffee bar). When I get down there, a counselor stops me and says her campers needs a band-aid. Oh no, we're not even an hour or so into camp and we already need band-aids. Nah, it was just a girl who picked a scab. Yuk (though I totally used to do that as a kid).

11:21 AM: Radio sounds of: "Hillary, are you going to be ready to teach during assembly?" I glance down at Madison chomping away, pick up my radio, and say "yep, I'll be right there." Shoot, I'd forgotten that I told Michelle that morning that I'd teach about Mary & Martha. I finished up with Madison, who was done anyways, handed her off and started down the hallway. I prayed the whole way that God would take away my words and replace them with his. When it was time to go on, I talked a bit about Mary & Martha engaging the crowd along the way, however I still felt like a deer in headlights. My bad. I realized later that they had really studied about the Bible this morning and that Mary & Martha didn't really get introduced until tomorrow.

Most of these were minor surprises, but let me just focus on our added blessings for a moment. How many other camps would have just sent these moms away? How many other people would have stuck to their agendas instead of thinking about the familys' needs? Sure, there was a mix up, but the best customer service is the kind that accomodates the person, not the program. Unlike Office Depot who told me yesterday that they couldn't honor my state issued tax exempt card because there computer said that Grace Community Church was not tax-exempt. Um, sorry O.D., but I think my state-issued card trumps your computer, and I had just bought some stfuf the day before at a different O.D. with the same card. Anyways, the guys working there (one who was truly apologetic and the other who was a little too stuck to the policies) simply gave me a card with the number to call. Totally didn't mean to go down this path, but it's just an example of what not to do. Allright now I need to go take a shower or I will definitely be late.