I was rocked tonight by a shocking confession from a dear friend. It doesn't matter what was confessed or who did the confessing. The point is that this declaration had some serious ramifications for my psyche. Literally rocked me to the core. Do you want to know why? Because I realized that I'm not above it. I'm not immune from falling. I'm not untouchable. So often I watch a TV show or read an article on the internet about someone that has fallen from grace, and I think, "I would never do that." Truth is, I'm perfectly capable of sinning. I am after all a sinner. I'm so quick to judge others and yet I mask the evil in my own heart. In fact, I justify it. Why is it so easy to talk myself into doing what I know to be wrong and extremely difficult to talk myself out of it? Seriously, what is that?
The only good news to come out of tonight was the fact that, for the first time in a very long time, I felt close to God. For a microsecond I felt like I had never drifted away. I found myself begging God for mercy, not only for my friend but for myself as well. Now the test comes. Will I continue to spend time with Him? Will I carve out a few moments of each day to return to my knees before His throne of grace? Here's hoping, right?
I'm Not A Stalker, Just A Fan
1 year ago