It never ceases to amaze me that I can be online several hours a day, checking my email, updating political blogs and websites, working on More than Moms stuff, and still neglect my own personal blog. I wonder if it's because I try to keep my personal stuff here, segregated from the politics and such. However, after I've written a sarcastic and opinionated piece for the PVRC and a couple deals and steals for More than Moms, there really isn't much more to talk about...or I'm too pooped from the rest of my life (you know, the three kids, husband, and a dog).
But today, I've hit a wall and need to vent. It's been one of those days. You know of what I speak, right? One of those days you wish you could replay over and over again until you got it right. That's the day I've had. It would have worked better for the blog's sake if this day had actually happened yesterday since it was Groundhog Day, then I could pun off the movie.(If you don't know what movie I speak of then you're most likely under 25 and are not up on your 80's classics...sorry)
It's not like the week started great though either. I spent most of Sunday and all day Monday feeling completely awful. I'd prepared myself for a full out onslaught of goop and gunk, but yesterday morning, I woke up feeling...well, better. Aunt Flo had come to town (if you don't know what I'm talking about, then you're a guy), and the first day she's here is just bleh. So I decided we'd stay home and chill out. Next time I have that bright idea, someone please throw a pie at me. Three kids cooped up in a house all day plus "bleh" mom equals breakdown. Thankfully it was Chick-fil-a night which brightened my spirits. The kids went down easy for bed, and then Neil and I enjoyed 2 full hours of Lost bliss.
So I wake up this morning to 5 inches of snow and Owen's school canceled, which I was mostly prepared for since it was snowing all night. I decided to have a different attitude than normal, a good one. I pulled out my journal and Bible and spent some good time with God, for the first time in at least a week. So far, so good. Then I encountered a certain email that just set the tone for my day, an email from a difficult person who operates like a thorn in my side. From that point on, I chose to allow this person's remarks to shape my day. Of course the events themselves could not have been avoided, but my reaction to them could have.
Let's start with my plan. With it being a snow day, I thought it best to get the kids out of the house. Why not the gym? They can play and I get a break. So we get there, I drop off the kids, and go to change. Not even 2 minutes after I walked out of the locker room, one of the child watcher's came to me and said Blake had a runny nose and I had to come get him. A couple of deep breaths later, I walked back into the locker room, changed clothes, and went back to pick up my kids. Okay, plan B. Owen needed a new coat since he'd lost 2 this season. Why not head to BJ's? I'm sure they have a jacket at a reasonable price. I'll pop in, get the kids a hot dog, pick up a couple minor things, get the jacket and be home by 1. Yeah, not so much. I should have known better though. Who can really pop in and pop out of BJ's, especially not with so many great coupons available? Needless to say, I was there for nearly 2 hours, and the kids started breaking down around the 1.5 hour mark, and I still needed to get the jacket. Really, I do this crap to myself. Then after I checked out, I realized that the jacket I picked was in the wrong place and was $10 more than I thought it was. By this point. I'm ready to pull out my hair. Blake is literally climbing on top of the car cart. Owen is hanging out the side. Madison is simply fed up, and I can't see straight. But still I trudge to the clothing section to save a few bucks, and get the heck out of there. In the process, I learn that my business cards for Team Whisler actually won't be ready until Monday...even though I was told 3-4 business days which would have been today or tomorrow. I get a response from my difficult person of the day and it was even more petty and trite than before. By this point, I'd forgotten all that had come from my deep and focused time with God. I was done, at the end of my rope. After I loaded the kids in the car, I just prayed for quietness for the ride home. Thankfully, I got it. Deep breath. Deep breath. You would think that in those moments of silence, I'd regroup, spend time praying for my day and the people I'd encountered, but no, I chose to wallow in it. Am I any better off now? Not so much.
I'm thankful that God doesn't just toss me to the way side when I neglect Him, that His mercy and grace have no expiration date. I can always come back to the right path, make the right choice, the one that will glorify Him, Granted, there are still earthly consequences to my actions, like I might have to apologize to my kids for losing my mind, or I've wasted precious time on ridiculous junk that I can't get back. It's so easy to point fingers, to play the blame game, to throw a pity party, but what good are these things? What do I stand to gain from them?
At this moment, I chose to filter the rest of my day through God's eyes.
On a side note: Could you all pray that the snow holds off this weekend? (maybe not entirely, but just long enough to not mess with the Women's Breakfast planned for Saturday morning) Thanks!
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