Thursday, March 12, 2009

Writer's Block

I know. I know. It's been two weeks since my last entry. Can you believe that? I think that is the longest I've gone since my Dad died last April. Every day, several times a day, I encounter "bloggable moments," and yet, for some reason, I simply haven't done it. Ironically when I sat down tonight to write, I couldn't think of what to write about.

Here's the deal. I need to give my blog definition, a purpose. Is it here for me to simply sound off about whatever happens to be running around in my mind? Does it exist for my to dote on my family? Or rant about political issues? Speak about my spiritual journey? Or continue my war on customer service? The answer: (drum roll please) I have no stinking idea. I love to write and the topic never seems to matter much to me, but does it matter to those who read my blog.

Last night at our neighborhood association meeting, our president leaned over and told me that my blog is hilarious. This is definitely a flattering comment to say the least. I didn't even know she read it, but what would keep her reading it? Of course this begs the question, does it really matter if anyone reads it? In my mind (and it may just be my mind) if no one reads it then why blog at all? Before my dad asked me to update his blog, he thought it important for me to know just how many people had read his blog in it's two year existence...over 70,000 hits. For some reason knowing that number meant the world to him. It was a way he could measure success. But is blogging suppose to be a popularity contest or should I just do it to do it? I don't know the answer. I'm really just rambling on in hopes that I come across an answer in my free verse.

If I had to pick a few key points to help recap the past couple weeks, I'd have to lead off with Weight Watchers. This time (last time pre-children I lost 40 lbs doing the online program with my former boss and mentor Tammy) I decided to join the meetings. My lifetime goal is 139. If I lose two pounds a week I should hit my goal in 15 weeks. Yep, if you're good at math, then you know I have 30 lbs to lose. So far, since joining, I have lost 2.6 lbs, but I weigh in Saturday and I should be down another 2 or so. I like Weight Watchers because it forces me to think through what I eat and since I track it online, I can ask myself "do I really want that doughnut hole to join 4 years of Red Robin french fries on my thighs?" It's definitely a lifestyle change which makes it even harder when my mom calls me to gloat about where she is dining...yep, you guessed it, Red Robin. Since she called right at the beginning of Bible Study, I decided I would pray for her. Hey, isn't she supposed to be doing WW as well? What a slacker! Mom, I'm just kidding. You're entitled to your bottomless fries and peach tea. Uh, maybe I will save up some of those flex points and reward myself when I hit my next goal. Real good Hillary, reward weight loss with greasy, grimy super delicious food. I'm guessing that's like an alcoholic rewarding 6 months sober by heading out to happy hour.

In other news: What a day we had today. It was supposed to be a nice, quiet (ha ha ha I almost wrote that without busting out laughing) day at home with the kids, but then Neil's dad called and said he was passing through and would like to have lunch. Since he's a trucker I knew that lunch was a loose term when it came to time, so I decided to go to Essex to pick up some cloth diapers (yep, I'm diving in) from a chick on Craigslist. I left my house around 10 am and literally felt like I was in the car for the next 4 hours. Here's my lesson of the day...just pay the darn toll. I put the address into my GPS, which I refuse to give a silly name, and it asks me if I would like to avoid tolls. Stupidly enough I decided to give it a try. It can't be that bad, right? An hour later (should have been 30 min max) I arrived in Essex where I picked up 17 diapers of all different varieties. I intend to start using them this weekend on both Blake and Madison.

Please Lord don't let my good intentions lead my down a road of failure and wasted time and money. You can do this, Hillary. Just think of all the money you'll be saving. Sorry, sometimes I just need to give myself a quick pep talk especially when it comes to this whole world of cloth diapering. Seriously, it's not like going to Target and picking between Huggies & Pampers. There are so many different varieties, accessories, and secret hand shakes. All right, I'm not sure about the hand shakes, but I'm pretty sure there is some secret society of cloth diaper peeps whose goal is to confuse you into not using them. Don't believe me? Just google cloth diapering and tell me how quickly you can figure it out. Now that I've bought some, I'm trying to figure out the whole laundering process. You'd think there would be some sort of master manual, like a bible of cloth diapering, but there's not. I know several people that use them and they all have different opinions as to which diapers to use, where to buy them, and how to care for them. Talking to them just confused me more. It paralysed me, making me feel so overwhelmed by the pure volume of information, that I simply couldn't make a decision. So I'm glad I found these on Craigslist. They were a great deal and gives me the opportunity to try out several varieties.

Anyways, totally not the point of my day, but a fun tangent. We picked up Papa, my father-in-law, in Jessup and headed down to Tampico (awesome Mexican restaurant in Laurel) for lunch. It was good and I'm glad we got to see him even if it was for a couple hours. Hopefully he'll make it up this way more often. The day was a wash as far as naps went, but sometimes you just have to through the schedule out the door and deal with the consequences later...which came about the time Neil arrived home from work and I had to get things ready for Bible Study.

Tomorrow we're back on track beginning with a quick workout and then a meeting at church and lunch with friends...all before I have to pick Owen up from school. Tomorrow night is all about happy hour with Clare (& Madison) while Mat & Neil hang with the kids at home. Let's just say I can't wait for that.


Anonymous said...

Just write whatever is in your heart and mind at the time, Hilary.
We all feel for you with 3 small children, have been there myself and certainly did not blog! We will need more pics of the children though!
Your Dad is smiling down so happy that you are keeping things going. He lives still through you,
Helena UK

EG said...

Hillary, tell me about your cloth diaper experience when you get some time using them under your belt! I'm hoping to stay home once #2 arrives, and so I'm considering switching. In the research I've done I'm leaning towards the bumGenius 3.0.

I, too, love Weight Watchers. I did it pre-kids and lost about 35 lbs. Then slipped slipped slipped to almost my starting weight, then had 2 kids (well 1.5 so far). I'm going to do it again, though. It works.

amy said...

Jen wrote an amazing cloth diaper review on her blog. She reviewed several brands, wrote about the lingo and did a price breakdown. I highly recommend reading it!

Anonymous said...

Hillary, let the blog evolve naturally. Your old man started sharing updates with friends and it took off from there.

You have the gift Dave passed to you so use it to share your life and motherhood stories with the world. Don't forget there are a lot of women in your situation who can relate with you.

Laugh, cry, rant and rave. All your readers will join in.

Your old man is probably sitting up in heaven shouting "That's my girl! Look at her go!"

Charndra at Part Time Diaper Free said...

Hi Hillary,
Yeah, cloth diapers - it's because they are custom made, a cottage inductry - so they are designed for babies - therefore long ones, short ones, fat chubber thighs, thin thighs, for people who need faster drying (pockets and AI2's, covers and prefolds, fitteds or contours) or people who dont (all in ones)

Some babies just don't LIKE certain styles of wrappings of the diapers!

So, having a wide ranging stash is great as you can see which suit you and your situation.

As you don't want to burn out, ease into it - start with using cloth on one day a week. Or use it in the mornings, that sort of thing, until you find your own groove and system.

You'll get there!

Have a look into EC next to reduce your diaper use a bit - I always say one less diaper a day is fabulous - and quite easy.

Charndra in Oz (Australia)
(as an aside I love your blog template!)

Angela Otero said...

I sure miss you. Enjoy getting updates on your life here.

P.s. your un-techy friend, can't ever manage to vote on your polls? What's wrong with me?