Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Things that Make You Go Hmmm

As I sit here hoping Madison hits the hay before midnight, I'm thinking what I should blog about today. I'm still processing from this past weekend, and seeing as my last blog was so entirely deep, I thought I would stay a bit surfacy today. I totally inherited my dad's defense mechanisms. Stay away from the deep, vulnerable crap...it will always get you into trouble.

I hired a housekeeper. Yes, I know I am a stay-at-home mom and should be able to handle the three kids, the never ending laundry (especially with the new addition of cloth diapers), the greasy, grimy build up on anything and everything the boys touch, and so on and so forth. But I can't, so think what you will. She only comes once a month to take care of the deep cleaning I can never tackle. Heck she cleaned stuff on Monday I haven't cleaned in my life. My house must have been a disaster area too because she didn't even make it to the basement. It took her 8 hours to get through the first two floors. How embarrassing. If I didn't feel like a failure before...man! But that's besides the point. It felt good to walk around after she left and see the clean. Normally I just feel like I'm buried in a sea of muck...probably because I am.

When I picked the name for my blog, I did a little word play with my name. If only I had known how prophetic I was when it came to the "hills" of chaos. Life is chaotic, especially with two rambunctious boys, one needy little (yet completely adorable) girl, a fabulous and sometimes grey hair-creating husband, and all the other things I shove into my priority list. Sometimes I'm going up hill and feel like I'm never going to make it to the top, much like the little engine that could. Other times, like on housekeeper days, it's more on the down hill (or a downward spiral, not sure sometimes) slope when you feel accomplishment and excitement. I think I'd like to find the place where the chaos is a bit more organized. Of course that would require me to learn how to be organized and stick to it. It's funny how I'm really good at organizing other people's crap, but when it comes to my own, I have no idea where to start. Maybe I should hire a housekeeper for my life, a lifekeeper. Although I think I just described Jesus' role in my life.

Speaking of Jesus, I did have a quiet time this morning, if you could call it that. My goal was to get up at 6:30, take a shower, get some coffee and have my quiet time all before the boys woke up around 8:00ish. Good news is that I was up at 6:30. Bad news - so were the boys. Thanks to Neil I did get a shower. Afterwards, I came down to Owen and Blake chowing down on some corn pops (don't judge). I thought I'd sneak off and have a quick quiet time while they were eating. I opened my five minute devo book and successfully read it. I even got in a little bit of journaling before Blake started to wonder where I'd gone. He's in this whiny, insistent phase that is just about the drive me up a wall or off a cliff. So once he finds me, he is not about to let me go. I had to stop and just laugh at myself trying to journal around him or even at one point on top of him. Yeah, like that was a real intimate time. Oh well, five minutes is still five minutes.

Of course I didn't get to work out today. I wasn't really expecting to, but it would be nice to be able to get in a moderate butt kicker at least three times a week. Lately I'm getting in one maybe two days at the gym. Problem is that I have to get an appointment for Madison, and I am fully at the mercy of their schedule. Sometimes I grab a 30 min slot b/c that is all that is available. You should see me try to cram a meaningful workout into 30 minutes including traveling upstairs to the locker room and changing. It's really quite a hoot. And then there are the kids themselves. If they're sick, forget it. If Madison has to eat when I come in for my 30 minute time block, forget it. Yesterday I had to skip out because I thought Owen was coming down with something. Tomorrow I have a short 30 min. time slot which I'm hoping I can extend a little if someone else cancels. (But I also have a play date at 10 and a 30% off coupon to use at Old Navy). I'm not sure if I'll have the van on Thursday so I didn't make an appt, and on Friday I have an entire hour and a half. Woo hoo. I actually think I'm going to work out with the my friend, Amanda. I love having a buddy. Hopefully she'll kick my butt into shape.

Time for me to hit the hay. Remember it's your job to keep me writing everyday. Thanks Manuel for always being supportive. It's encouraging to know you still read my blog. For those of you who wonder who this Manuel is, he was an avid reader of my dad's blog who became one of his good friends as well. He's also fighting the cancer battle, so if you get a chance lift him and his family up in prayer. In a lot of ways, I feel like he's looking out for me now that Dad's gone.

Time to hit the hay. Here's hoping the kids sleep til at least 7:30 in the morning. Oh & the pictures are just for show. They were taken today. Blake woke up crying from his nap about 40 minutes after her went down. He climbed up into my lap and dozed back off for an hour. Needless to say I didn't accomplish much during naptime today.


Emily said...

I still read your blog even though I'm horrible at updating my own.;-) ...praying that you will be able to find time for those things that help keep your cup overflowing. (can you tell I've been thinking about Psalm 23?)

Anonymous said...

I check your blog every day, Hillary. Whether you know it or not, you have the Foster gift for words.
Me thinks your old man knew that when he asked you to update his blog for him and he smiles down knowing he was right.