Sunday, April 19, 2009


I know, I know. I sucked at updating the blog last week, but I have a really good excuse. Ready for this one: I didn't feel like it. There, see, that's a really good excuse. It's not like I didn't try. Several times I sat down, started typing, and was completely distracted by the ball thrown at my face or the buzz of the dryer. Honestly I wanted to blog about what's been going on, especially about the one year anniversary of my dad's death, but I just couldn't (or wouldn't). Maybe the time thing really was an issue, but that's probably due more to the fact that I packed my schedule so full of heres and theres that I really didn't stop. I was like the Energizer bunny on crack. Only the busyness only made me busy. It's funny how that works. We think if we stay busy we won't have to deal with what's really going on, but that never works, does it? Or at least not successfully. It's just a band aid. Just because I didn't blog about it, doesn't mean I didn't think about it. Boy, did I think about my Dad. That's practically all I thought about.

I had an interview with a counselor this week who had lost her mom 3 years ago to breast cancer. When she told me I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I'm sure, for a moment, she thought I was looney (or entirely too empathetic). When I told her that my dad had passed a year ago, she got it. We spent a good hour after the interview talking about our lost parents. It was the first time in a while that I had talked about the day he died. Recounting the events of that day, step by step, was more therapeutic than painful. God cornered me. He's sneaky like that. But I'm glad He did. I needed to talk about it, and it felt better doing it with a complete stranger who could understand where I was coming from.

This is a busy time of year for me. I'm gearing up for camp, spring cleaning, and watching my schedule fill up fast. On May 1st, I'm having Owen screened for public pre-K. We don't exactly qualify since you either have to be low income or have a significant delay, but we're trying anyways. If they have space, they'll take him. It would be nice because it's 5 half days a week and would be at the same school he'll be attending for kindergarten. I'm so hoping he gets in, but we'll just have to wait and see.

On May 20th, I'm going in to have a small, dry patch on my hip examined by the dermatologist. I'd like to rule out cancer. So if you think about it, please pray for me. After what I've been through with my dad, I'm not taking any chances.

There is so much more to tell you, but right now, my eyes are closing as I type. Tomorrow is another day.

Oh and I've gone through and labeled most of my posts. So for those of you visiting from my dad's blog, you can filter out all the blogs where I talk about my dad.


Maisieharrison said...

Hills, I understand what you're going through. My father battled cancer for years before it beat him. Like your father, he was an inspiration to all who met him. It will be 12 years on May 9, and while the pain has become more bearable it never goes away. I miss him as much today as I did then, maybe more. Even now, when something bad happens I think about him. No matter what happened I could always go to him and he would pray with me about it. And all the good times that I miss being able to share with him.... But my father left a legacy, one that brings me joy and comfort whenever I think about him. Your father did the same for you. There's a song that says, "It's not what you take when you leave this world behind you, it's what you leave behind you when you go." And your father left you, and all the wonderful qualities and talents that he passed on to you. As long as you celebrate those gifts and use them to the best of your ability, then he will always be with you! You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hillary Pennington said...

Thank you Maisie for your kind words. I always wished my dad was the kind of dad I could go to for prayer & encouragement. But thankfully I have my mom for that.

Your kids are adorable.

Angela Otero said...

Hills, I've been thinking about you for a week now with regards to loosing your dad last year. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to ask you about it on the phone the other night when we talked briefly. I've not lost a parent to cancer, but an close aunt who lived with my family in her last months. Then we gained her daughter, who's now our sister, after loosing her. You're not alone. I'm sure that you're all talked out about it. But I'm here for you if you need a shoulder or an ear. Love you and continue to think and pray for you--you'll never get over it, I know, but I pray the pain will ease in the years to come.