Monday, June 2, 2008

The Great Debate

I love a good debate, especially when I win. But when you're debating with yourself, how do you decide who wins? Yesterday was our open house. We busted our butts to get our home ready to be showed. I even baked cookies, but to no avail. No one came. Do you know what this means? The house is clean, and we need to lower our price. The question how much? This brings me to the self versus self debate, but not over the price itself, but how much I really want to move.

Putting the house on the market was a leap of faith for us. If it sells, then it's clear that God wants us to stay here, but if it doesn't, then there's a different path for us out there, possibly including a migration south. In theory, this is a great plan, a test of our faith. In reality, it feels more like tug-a-war, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in the mud pit considering I'm on both sides of the rope. It all boils down to stability. I want to be where I'm going to be. Wouldn't it be much easier if I could just make an appointment with God, like I do to get my hair done, and he'd just tell me what the future holds for us? Yes, that would be nice, but there is a reason God is not a fortune teller, because if I knew the whole picture, I'd probably run for cover. Seriously, if God had told me 6 months ago that I'd lose my dad and get pregnant with my third child in the same month, I would have tried desperately to avoid both. Who wouldn't? So in that sense, I get why he doesn't tell us everything, but right now, I'm frustrated, scared, and confused...and being the control freak that I am, these are not secure feelings for me.

I'll keep you posted on the inward debate, but for now I'm going to rush off to the gym and then off shopping with a friend. Enjoy your day!

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